Why Detective, You Shouldn't Have!
by LibraMoon
Summary: Shepard just wanted to drink the rejection away. Until Detective Chellick asked for her help. It wasn't supposed to be like this! Fem/ShepxGarrus Jealous Garrus, and mentions of onesided Garrus/Tali
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing, Rated M for later chapters, review if you please. **

**Just a neat little idea I had, because who doesn't' love cops? XD**

OoOoOo

The pulsing beat of the music swept the club into a maelstrom of pheromones and darkness. The various species gyrated in time with the music, not all together gracefully. The air was thick with mixed body heat and scents of too many perfumes. Both naturally, and artificially created in the seemingly too small space. A lone figure sat, oblivious to the surroundings, staring into a glass filled with green liquid. Her brown hair tied into a ponytail that hung over her shoulder. The same shoulder whose twin hunched forward in dejection.

Shepard glanced around the seedy bar with something akin to apathy. '_Only, because apathy is so much easier to deal with than rejection_,' she thought bitterly. Although, the bitterness was getting easier to swallow with each burning shot of 70 proof alcohols, it's still remained like a lump in the back of her throat. Slowly, she was suffocating in feelings that could no longer be shared. A small scowl settled over otherwise attractive features.

She, who had fought Saren, countless Geth, had been brought back to life, and was now on a mission to stop the collectors, could not get the one being in the entire galaxy she cared for; to want her in return. The foreign feeling of helplessness settled like a weight in the pit of her stomach. She gripped her glass a little harder. Soft flesh dug into the cold exterior of the container, as she lifted the miniscule weight to her pink lips, and slammed the contents down in one swift gulp.

It was completely unfair that Turians sniper's were so damn attractive, especially when they were awkward, but so lovable. Truly, Shepard couldn't help but feel that it was all Garrus's fault for making her love him. From the moment she had seen him arguing in the Citadel Tower, she had felt something for him. Those strange blue markings, coupled with the sharp alien features had just taken her by surprise. She had been way in over her head from the start. How was she supposed to know he had stolen her heart?

It had happened so gradually, she had never noticed. The quiet talks aboard the _Normandy_, while he spoke of his people and his past, had been joyous for her. There had never been any pomp or circumstance between them. There had been a healthy dose of mistrust to start with, she granted. However, that was more the result of the residual grudges from the First Contact War. Yet, in the moments between death and desperation, Shepard had felt _something_. That _something_ continued as they fought their way across countless obstacles and trials. It had continued to grow until what had been _something_ had become love. It seemed to Shepard that love had snuck up on her quicker than a geth ambush.

How did one stop themselves from falling in love anyway? She wasn't sure it was possible. Shepard gave a frail laugh of incredulity. It had not been the Reapers that laid her low, or even the Collectors, though they had killed her once. No, she had come to drink her sorrows away because of the single most beautiful force in all known cultures.

'_Love! Love is an absolute bitch,'_ she snarled in her thoughts. Love had made her stupid. She had been content to die when she had. It was something she had never told another soul. Shepard had not been scared. She had been ready. Her crew was safe, and the foundation for saving all sentient life had been fairly laid out. Oh, regrets were only natural in your final moments, but she had been fortunate to have only one. '_Garrus_,' the name was filled with longing and sadness even in her own mind.

Damn it all to hell and back! She had been content! So, when she had awoken in a Cerberus lab, it had been a bit of a shock. Shepard thought it was perfectly reasonable given the circumstances. Her memories, miraculously, had been intact. All of them, including the melodic sound of a certain Turian's laughter.

Her head slipped forward onto the bar, a soft thud accompanying the action. Shepard stared blankly at the countertop of the bar. She willed her mind not to follow down the train of memories it was on. However, even her strong will would not stop the landslide of fond memories. The images of Garrus laughing, joking, and stumbling through their time together flashed through her like the lightening of a summer storm. That storm lead to the wreck of her last talk with him aboard the _Normandy 2_. One of the few times he hadn't been in the middle of 'calibrations'.

"Bastard," she whispered quietly, unheard over the pounding music. The lights flashed in multi-color glory as she lifted her head from the bar. Her back straightened from years of military training, and emotion-filled eyes scanned the room.

"Genuine inquiry, are you alright human?" The Elcor bartender asked tonelessly.

Shepard gave him a weak grin. "Yeah, thanks. I think I might have had a bit too much," she explained sheepishly.

"Amused, you may be correct."

"I usually am," the sour note of her voice didn't register with the Elcor, who turned away to assist another patron.

Shepard sighed to herself. Sometimes talking with the Elcor was entertaining, now however, it failed to get her mind off the last 'talk' she had. A talk, where Garrus had told her, in no uncertain terms, that he was not interested. OH, he respected her a great deal, but he didn't have a 'thing' for humans. Shepard slid her eyelids closed against the fresh wave of hurt.

She had been so sure he returned her interest. All the signs had been there. He had wanted to join her on every mission. She had even come back to this damn Citadel for him. That was the whole reason why there were here. It was also why she was drinking away her sorrows at Flux. Well, Flux was the casino upstairs, but Shepard just called the whole thing by the Casino's name. It was easier that way.

She needed more things to be 'easy' in her life.

She thrummed her fingers on the countertop as she slipped back into her thoughts. It wasn't Garrus's fault he didn't share her feelings. It wasn't Tali's fault that she was built like a freaking goddess, and Turians really liked Quarians. It just…just… well, it hurt… a lot. She had been a good friend and commander, pretending it didn't bother her in the slightest when Garrus told her of his attraction to Tali. She had even encouraged him.

God what was she thinking?

What she had really wanted to do, behind the faked smile, was walk down into engineering and scratch that wench's eyes out. Suit be dammed! But, that wasn't what a _friend_ did. And, she was only his _friend._ Shepard had reminded herself of that eight times since walking through the airlock of the Citadel. Instead, she had chosen to excuse herself, offering words of understanding, and flee to find the strongest alcohol she could in the darkest part of the Citadel.

Mission: Success.

A small smile played on her lips as she felt the air next to her move. Her blue eyes turned toward a strangely familiar face. However, Shepard thought he should have been in armor, and not civilian clothes. Perhaps, it was his attire that threw her recognition into the wind?

"Commander Shepard," the intruder stated matter-of-factly.

Perhaps it was the booze, but she couldn't quite place his name. "Evening," she replied flippantly, her body swinging to face him.

"Evening," he responded calmly, his white markings creating a stark contrast in the darkness and colored lights.

"Hm," Shepard acknowledged.

"It is good to see you are still alive," his head tilted to the side for a moment, "Reports said you were dead."

"Imagine that," the amused comment floated between them.

"Why do I have the feeling there is more to that report than you are letting on," his predatory features contorted in interest.

"My, you are a smart one, aren't you? Mr…?"

His mandibles twitched in amusement. "Detective Chellick," he prompted after a moment.

Shepard glanced sideways for a moment in embarrassment, then back to the Turian speaking to her. "I knew that," she arched a brow at him cockily; "Did you need something?"

His eyes focused on her lips momentarily, before moving slightly closer. His mandibles twitched what it signified, Shepard couldn't quite make out. "Actually, I was hoping you would help out, like you did for Jenna, and her sister."

'_Like I did for who?'_ Shepard puzzled over the name. It sounded oddly familiar. She furrowed her browns in concentration. '_Oh! The bartender at that seedy gentleman's club!'_ She concluded shrewdly. Honestly, she only vaguely recalled that, but she did remember Chellick now. He had been a major ass about the whole thing. However, work, was work.

And right now, she would much rather be working than drowning her sorrows.

"I'd be honored," she stated sincerely. She hoped fervently, that there would be people to kill for whatever it was that he needed from her.

His mandibles flared for a moment, and Shepard stared at them in interest. Turians really were rather fascinating. With their tiny waists, and sharp teeth, scales, and markings which never ceased to amaze her with their meanings.

"Good," he said drawing even closer, "It's a bit of undercover work. I need you to play along with me here. There are four mercs behind you watching us," his clawed hand inched toward hers on top of the counter, "I'm trying to infiltrate their ranks, and they have been a bit suspicious tonight. I am almost positive my cover has been blown, but I won't be able to get out of here without a body count, without you. I need you to let me get close to you, and then we can leave together."

Shepard's breath caught in her throat as his hand closed around hers. She looked up into his features, so close to Garrus's and yet so very different. She swallowed nervously, and her cheeks flamed with embarrassment for where her thoughts had gone. A rush of desire pooled between her legs, and Shepard shifted uncomfortably. Her hazel eyes flashed up to his suddenly still posture. His face was vaguely questioning.

'_Right… Turians have a better sense of smell,_' she chastised herself quickly. From what she had been able to gather from the extranet, turians could smell pheromones and this close; the detective could most definitely smell hers. '_Act like nothing happened. Do not engage! Do not engage,_' her mind screamed.

Shepard shook herself from the booze and memory induced haze. This was a serious request, and people's lives were at stake. A flirtatious smile twisted on her lips, and she leaned forward. She shyly glanced down, and then back at him, taking a moment to steal a look in the direction of the mercenaries Chellick had just spoken about. They were rather well armed for just coming to a bar. It could get ugly, and quickly if they didn't play this right.

Shepard reached her free hand up to twirl a lock of her hair confined within the ponytail. A miniscule nod was given to tell Chellick she was going to assist him. His entire posture relaxed and Shepard let out a laugh.

"With compliments like that, it's a wonder any woman can keep her distance from you," she purred sexily.

His eyes glowed into hers in equal parts business and attraction. Shepard suppressed a shiver of delight. She had longed for such a look from another, but for a few moments, it would not hurt to pretend Chellick was… someone else.

"Maybe that is what I was going for," he rumbled as his other hand caught a lock of her hair, gently feeling it.

Her cheeks flushed under the blatant sexual overture. She licked her lips, watching his eyes follow the motion.

"What else are you going for?"

His mandibles flared once more in surprise. Shepard moved closer to him, her fingers traced the white markings on his face. His skin was so warm to her touch. The texture was like leather, but comforting in a strange way.

"What else are you offering?"

His question almost didn't register. Shepard pulled down on the collar of his civilian clothes. Her lips just a fraction away from his mouth, as her desire budded into full blown want.

"Whatever you think you can _take,_ turian," she whispered intently.

A deep rumbling started from his chest, and suddenly she was pulled from her chair. "Keep calm they are still watching us," he reminded her as his mandibles descended on her neck. His sharp teeth ghosted over her sensitive flesh.

Shepard tried to force the rush of need from her mind. She had not been this close to anyone physically in years, even before her death. She had been so busy chasing after Garrus; she hadn't given Kaidan a chance. Then she had died, rather suddenly, leaving little opportunity for romance. Then she was shoved back into life, and missions, still trying to chase after a certain turian.

Who was decidedly, not the turian nibbling on her neck at this moment. Her body came to life under the simple contact. Shepard could not stop herself from pressing against him with a whine of need. She could tell he was surprised by the reaction, because he pulled her even closer to him until she was flush with his body. If it pleased him, she couldn't say. A tiny moan escaped her lips and she tilted her head to give him better access.

His strong hands grasped her hips, and his talons poked through the thin fabric separating them. Dimly, she was still aware of the number of people around them, and the beat that kept pumping like a fire in her blood. Reflexively, she ground her hips into his with a whimper. Her eyes closed and she imagined a different face, with bright blue markings. Her desire spiked painfully at the image.

Her hands sought to feel him, this stand in for the one she truly wanted, and her mouth opened in a silent plea for more sensation. Shepard gripped him tighter, squirming against him to alleviate the frustration that was building within her.

"Please," she whispered hotly, "touch me."

A low growl was emitted at her words. His taloned fingers ran down the length of her sides, and he began to nuzzle the flesh he had just been feasting upon. It was bittersweet, and so very welcome. The differences between them seemed to fade as she was swept up into a hurricane of touch, and taste. Her hands pulled on his face to meet hers. Shepard snuck her tongue out to taste his mandibles as they twitched under her ministrations.

He groaned as she reached back to stroke his fringe with great enthusiasm. The extranet had given her several interesting tips, even though she had planned to use them on Garrus. She supposed that Chillick would not mind terribly much. She gasped when he bucked against her; a strange movement came from his nether region. Almost as if something were moving under his plates,

"With Humor, perhaps you two should go somewhere more private," the interruption startled them both.

Chellick snarled angrily at the Elcor bartender who didn't even blink. Shepard blushed, realizing that they had been dry humping each other in full view of everyone else. She was mortified that she had forgotten about the mercs, who were staring at them with mixed looks of horror and lust.

"Let's get out of here," the husky voice purred in her ear.

She shivered in response. Her blood was cooling too slowly for her to think straight. Her hazel eyes were most likely dilated, showing her physical attraction to everyone present.

"Alright," she managed to reply, a little breathlessly.

His nearly unbelievably strong grip encased her hand. Shepard felt herself being tugged swiftly out of the establishment. Her mind was in a haze. She shook herself mentally, reminding herself that this had been a ploy, and as soon as they were clear of the mercs she would have to go back to the Normandy.

Back to Garrus, the turian who _didn't _want her.

She stumbled a bit, and found herself slammed up against the nearest wall. Chillick was breathing hotly on her shoulder. His head was bowed and a low growl had torn itself out of his throat. Shepard felt her heart skip a beat at the predatory sound. Her mind blanked in confusion as she felt another thrust against her.

She gasped at the pressure against her swollen zone. She felt his hands as they moved around the exposed areas of her skin.

"So soft," he moaned as he rubbed against her, "are all humans this soft?"

Shepard bucked against him, in time with his movements. His head snapped up and he stared at her with darkened eyes. She trembled under his touch. His talons scraped along her skin in a sensual sort of roughness.

"I don't know," she answered his question honestly, " I'm used to the feel of my own skin."

Her hands sought out his plates, caressing them, and the common turian pleasure zones as he pinned her against the wall with his body. He felt so odd, compared to another human. He felt… tougher, and somehow more masculine than any other she could remember. Shepard tried so hard not to picture blue markings on his face.

His eyes were wild, and hot. His mandibles opened and closed quickly, suggesting he was out of breath. His pale plates looked nothing like Garrus's and it made her heartache slightly. She desperately wanted Chellick to be someone else, and that wasn't fair.

"Shepard," he called her name like a plea, "I've never… wanted a human like this before." His voice was strained as if the admission wounded him somehow. She knew he had a less than stellar opinion on humans.

Oddly, it didn't seem to matter right now.

"Chellick," she said, her voice carrying her understanding and her need.

"Detective Chellick?"

Shepard snapped her focus in the direction of the questioner. Her eyes widened at the object of her affection looking more furious than she had ever seen him. Even when talking about Sidonis. Her heart plummeted into the soles of her feet.

Chellick snarled angrily once more before his features returned to being calm. "Vakarian? Is that You?"

Garrus's mandibles tightened in anger. "Yes, Sir," he all but hissed, "It's me."

His piercing blue eyes swung between them, and Shepard pushed lightly on Chellick, who backed up instantly.

"Would you be so kind as to tell me what you are doing with _Commander _Shepard?" the quiet fury and dignity poured from each word like rain.

Chellick gave him an unreadable look, and Shepard felt at a loss.

"The Commander was helping me with some undercover work," he replied easily. His stance shifted to block her from Garrus.

"That true _Commander?"_

Shepard cleared her throat awkwardly. She noticed that Garrus had his fingers wrapped tightly around his holstered weapon. She straightened up to her full height, and started directly at Garrus. Her cheeks high with color.

"Yes, _Garrus_, it's true," she snuck a glance at Chellick through her lashes, and saw him stretch his mandibles in a smile at her.

"And this 'undercover work' involved him plastered to you, and reeking of his scent, how?" Garrus nearly roared in the empty corridor leading to Flux.

"Oh… that…," she whispered weakly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for all your reviews! I am flabbergasted… really, I am. **

**Also, I think it fair to warn you now. I have tried to have a beta before, but I am almost ADD when it comes to waiting around for the chapters to be proofread. Through no fault of my Betas it ends up not working. So therefore, I will make mistakes, hopefully not too many. I do proof read but I don't always catch them. Please don't let that deter you!**

**Rated M, I own nothing. Ok… let's go!**

OoOoOo

Shepard stared at Garrus aghast. There was simply no other adjective to describe the way her features twisted as she floundered for words to soothe the furious Turian. The words slipped through her grasp too quickly to call them for her defense. Truly, what could she tell him? Shepard may have held some diplomatic ability for tense situations, but she had always strived to be honest where she could. So, therefore, she felt it impolitic to tell Garrus that she had been making out with his former co-worker and fellow C-Sec detective.

She flinched inwardly as she corrected that Garrus _used_ to be a C-Sec detective. Her teeth caught her lower lip and worried it gently in a gesture of apprehension. She was not normally so foolish! She should not have been carried away by the slightly rough caresses of Chellick. Her chest burned with embarrassment and self-loathing. It was all her fault for forgetting why she had been getting hot-and-heavy with the detective in the first place.

For a woman who had shifted through the worst muck and filth in the galaxy, it was easy to tell when she was neck deep in shit. This was not going to go smoothly, she could tell already. The music seemed like a distant hum that compounded with the blood pulsing in her ears. She didn't understand what had upset him so grievously, but she was more inclined to think it was because she was with someone that Garrus respected.

Because… well, because it couldn't have anything to do with him wanting her for himself. He had made that perfectly clear just hours ago. Shepard blinked once to clear the pain of the memory from her thoughts. She scolded herself again for the unkind thoughts that sprung up toward Tali like weeds in her mother's garden. She released her lip from her teeth with a soft sigh.

She still hadn't answered, and that seemed to only aggravate Garrus further. His ice-blue eyes glared at Chellick as if he were somehow offensive. Suddenly anger sparked hotly within her, burning with the rage of a dwarf star.

'_What right does he have to be upset anyway? He didn't get his heart ripped out, stomped on, and then placed in front of a firing squad!" _Indignation caused her spine to stiffen to almost inhuman proportions.

"_Detective_ Chellick and I," she started with her voice frosty from contempt, "were trying to leave Flux with his cover intact for a sting operation planned by C-Sec. That involved him pretending to pick me up from a bar. Letting his cover remain in tact without harming any surrounding civilians."

She forced her eyes to stare into his blue ones that seemed too bright, too watchful. A faint flush crept up her cheeks, like it always did whenever he was near. Even in anger, she could not deny her reaction to him, so strong and filled with need. '_Damn him,'_ she thought helplessly. The undercurrents of care seemed to soften her anger somewhat.

Well, that or she had more alcohol than she thought she had.

"So," Garrus started slowly, his tone low, "You two were… acting?"

Shepard paused for a moment to gaze at Chellick out of the corner of her eyes. It was not entirely acting. They were both keenly aware of it, and she knew that too. However, Garrus's tone hinted at suspicion. She understood that she could lie, brush the whole thing off as 'helping' Chellick. However, it was not a very honorable option. It was wrong enough that she had used him as a stand-in for Garrus. She just couldn't bring herself to deny Chellick this as well.

It had been a haze of sexual attraction. A few moments of unbridled passion wrapped up in danger. That was all that existed between herself and Chellick, but she owed him that much.

"Not exactly," she mumbled softly as she broke eye contact with Garrus.

She watched his mandibles flare in surprise. A movement that was mimicked by Chellick, but there seemed to be a softening of his features at her admission. She shifted from one foot to the next, a habit learned as s child, before she could stop herself. She snuck a glance back up a Garrus, whose mandibles now quivered in agitation.

"Care to elaborate Commander?" His tone was low and spoke volumes of his state of mind.

She swallowed reflexively. She could just tell him off. She could order him to the _Normandy 2_.With any other crew member she would have done just that. After all she was Shepard, the first human Spectre, the one who defeated Saren and his geth, and the list only grew from there. But, this was _Garrus_ and that fact blocked her normally commanding personality.

However, that did not mean that she was just going to back down like some subordinate that had been caught breaking the rules. She had not broken one single law on the Citadel… this time. Her brown hair tumbled back over her shoulder as she tilted her chin up defiantly.

"We were on a mission to get out of that bar without a single civilian being harmed. What happened in the bar to portray our parts correctly, could be linked solely with a ruse," she started calmly as her gaze snapped to his, "however, everything that happened out in this hallway had nothing to do with our ploy."

Chellick's hand reached out for hers, before he appeared to decide better of it. His white markings looked nothing like Garrus's in the lights of the hallway. His plates and scales were too pale to ever be confused with her most trusted crew member. In the cold, unfeeling, light of reality, Shepard could no longer pretend that Chellick was anyone other than who he truly was.

A soft pang echoed in the hollow walls of her heart in mute understanding.

One single glance at Garrus's beautiful, and livid face caused her heart to skip. His azure markings teased her eyes with familiarity and fondness. The scar that had been so harshly rendered on Omega drew her gaze. It was a scar she had often thought only made him far too handsome for his own good. Shepard had longed to kiss it more than once. His injured mandible meant nothing to her, but she had understood why he was self-conscious about it.

Why he had asked her if such a scar would disgust Tali.

Her mind refused to be dragged from the earlier events. Shepard dug insider herself not to flinch under his scrutiny. She had wanted to throw something. She would have gladly killed for the chance to shout at him that Tali would never care for him as much as she did. But, that would have been petty, and the supposed savior of all mankind didn't have time to be petty.

Pettiness was reserved for people who had that luxury. Shepard only had heartache and memories of months spent in the delusion that something existed between them. Only, it was sickeningly real for her. She loved Garrus. She had and would continue to kill for him. Her body may have been human, with a few upgrades thanks to the Illusive Man, but she adored him enough to cross any species barrier. However, she would always respect what he wanted. And, Garrus, wanted Tali.

'_God, things were simpler when I was dead,'_ she quipped in horrified amusement to herself.

"I think you have your answer Vakarian," the growl from Chellick snapped Shepard out of her musings.

She was caught by the strangeness of Chellick pressing against her once more. His body vibrated slightly, as his plates scraped along her skin. The sensation as not unpleasant, but she was not in a hurry to repeat it either.

Garrus's eyes narrowed harshly at the display. Shepard was bemused at the exchange. Her extranet research had never exactly covered this. She glanced at Garrus and then Chellick questioningly.

All thought processes stopped when Chellick was suddenly forcibly removed from her person. Her hazel eyes widened as a loud thud coursed down the hall. It was the sound of Chellick's body hitting the metal wall. Then Garrus was next to her, quicker than her eyes could follow. His mandibles widened, showing off intimidatingly sharp teeth. His striking eyes bored into hers.

"Um…," she started in blatant confusion. Her mind failed to comprehend what had just occurred.

The alcohol was affecting her more than she thought. Was this a hallucination? Did someone slip some Drell sweat into her drink? '_Well, that was a particularly disgusting thought,'_ Shepard thought sagely.

"You smell like _him_," the Turian hissed menacingly.

Shepard nodded dumbly. "Yes, I do."

"I don't like it," he rumbled lowly as his mandibles twitched.

"Okay," she said neutrally.

She did not understand what Chellick's scent had to do with anything. She couldn't smell it, being human and all. Her eyes widened as Garrus leaned closer his forehead touched hers briefly, before his frame covered hers, pushing her back against the wall. Her mind reeled with the feel of his plates on hers. They seemed sharper than Chellick's, more… there. Shepard gasped softly, as the same odd vibrations came from his scales. She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of him against her. She bit her lips to keep from embarrassing herself further by moaning his name.

As quickly as he had been there, he was gone. Her hazel eyes opened slowly, and she stared into his blue orbs. His mandibles opened and closed quickly, suggesting he was out of breath. She mutely stared at him in wonder and confusion. Her gaze snapped quickly to the burst of movement from their side. Chellick was moving to stand.

Chellick stared at her for a moment; his expression was not one she could decipher. He craned his next, and there was an audible pop, as she walked over to them calmly. Garrus let out a small hissing sound at his approach. Shepard opened her mouth to explain, but Chellick spoke first.

"I see," he said evenly, "well, Vakarian… if that is how you want it, we'll do this the old fashioned way,"

Shepard blinked owlishly up at the two Turians.

"I don't think there can be any misunderstanding," Garrus replied quickly.

Shepard felt the childish urge to raise her hand. Clearly, she was misunderstanding, because she had no idea what the hell was going on here! This wasn't exactly something she had a ton of experience in. She scratched the back of her head in confusion, a small furrow formed between her brows.

"Garrus?" She questioned hesitantly.

She watched fascinated as Garrus pushed her more into the wall, and strode toward Chellick. He seemed to focus in on the other male with fierce intent. They started to circle one another, one arm hung limply at their sides and the other pointed out with talons extended. Strange sounds were emitted on both sides, and Shepard wondered how she was going to defuse the situation. Their fringes caught the light as they continued some strange dance in the middle of the corridor.

She had the vague thought that this seemed extremely odd, because Turian's didn't dance… at all.

With a particularly loud cry from Chellick, Garrus charged. His taloned hand darted forward to swipe at the male's midsection. Chellick responded in kind, narrowly missing Garrus who made a strange hissing-pop sound in the back of his throat. Shepard took an awkward stumble forward when they both charged at one another again.

"Hey…," she called out sharply, "stop it!"

They ignored her, and Shepard glared in response. She tried once more. "I said knock it off!" Her roar of fury snapped their attention to her. Her eyes blazed her fury and concern. "Look, I don't know what the hell this about, but it stops right now."

Two sets of alien eyes blinked back at her. The turians eyed each other menacingly, before relaxing away from one another.

Chellick started to chuckle, and Shepard decided that it was definitely time to go back to the _Normandy_ to sleep off the whole episode.

"I forgot," he stated in breathless amusement, "you're not Turian."

'_No shit,'_ she thought snidely. If she were Turian, hell… if she were Quarian even, she would never have been in this predicament. If she were either of those species she could have been with Garrus already. Sure… the human species would have been completely wiped out, but if one ignored that little detail the rest seemed pretty good.

"No kidding," she replied instead. Her tone still carried the edge of heated anger she felt.

Garrus seemed to bristle toward Chellick again and Shepard stopped him with a glare. She was in no mood for whatever deranged version of defending her honor this was.

"Let me try that again," Chellick said charmingly, "I still need to infiltrate that merc group. Now that they have seen me with you, it could be a useful cover story."

She inclined her head, silently urging him to continue. She would always be willing to help the long arm of the law in its goals. '_Speaking of long arms… hadn't Garrus mentioned something about 'reach'_?' Her naughty, boozed fueled-self prompted wickedly. She pushed the inkling away harshly. Now was really not the time.

"I might need you help keeping up the ruse," he flashed the turian equivalent of a grin, "so to speak."

It did not escape her notice that Garrus was once more fingering his holstered weapon. She eyed him askance, before turning her full attention to Chellick.

"If it will help keep people safe, I would be honored."

Blue markings contorted as Garrus twitched his mandibles twice. "If you need more help _Chellick_, I'd be glad to give a former _comrade_ some assistance."

"I assure you _Garrus_, your _assistance_ will not be necessary. I just need Shepard," he paused to give her a smoldering look, which could have doubled as a leer in the right light.

Shepard shook her head quickly in dismissal. Her brown hair moved across her back with a gentle weight. "No, Garrus is right on this one Detective," she smiled kindly at him to soften her rebuke, " I would be more comfortable bringing a team with me if things go wrong."

Garrus straightened at her words, his mandibles stretching to make him look slightly cocky. Shepard tried to ignore the close proximity of his body to hers. She needed to be professional now, and later she could fall apart in the sanctity of her private quarters… with her fish… and her hamster.

Hm… when was the last time she had fed the hamster anyway?

Shepard inched closer to the pair of males, before coming to rest slightly more on Chellick's side. His white markings seemed to glow under the light. Garrus bristled at her location. Shepard couldn't care less.

Chellick paused over her words, before nodding smugly. "I'm sure I can expand my sting operation to include you and two others at most."

She gave him a thankful smile and nodded her approval. "Sounds good. My standard team is normally that size anyway."

"Excellent," Garrus responded crisply, "Tali and I will accompany you."

Her heart froze in her chest. A strange numb tingling over took her body, and Shepard felt herself turn toward Garrus in slow motion. Her face must have betrayed her thoughts, the deep feeling of emotional betrayal she felt, that even the lingering effects of alcohol could dampen. It must have shown in her face, because Garrus's eyes widened quickly, as if he understood the full implications of what he had just suggested.

Shepard took an involuntary step backwards, away from him. She chastised herself for the blatant display of weakness. She continued to stare at him as if he had suggested Krogan's were the universe's greatest ballet dancers. Part of her could not believe his insensitivity, and the other part of her forged in the fire of battle reminded her that she was his _friend_. The sane part of her prompted that she was his _Commander_ and should not have any emotional complications with brining along another member of her team, irrespective of how it made her feel.

"Shepard," Garrus started awkwardly, "I-I didn't mean…"

"I think it's a great suggestion," she interrupted neutrally. It felt for Shepard, that she was talking outside of herself. The words sounded mechanical and cold to her ears, but her training had taken over and it would be a while before she could gain control of herself again.

She looked at Chellick with authority and a humble realness that seeped from every pore. "I will need you to include Garrus Vakarian, and Tali'Zhora Vas Neema to your operation, detective."

"Whatever you need Shepard," Chellick replied with a deep rumble. His gaze locked with hers, and she could tell he knew there was more between the three of them than she had mentioned.

To be fair, he had never asked her about the tension between Garrus and herself. It hardly mattered now. Her hand did not tremble as she reached up to her ear piece.

"Joker?"

"Yes, Commander?" The quirky pilot responded promptly.

"Tell Tali to come down to The C-Sec Academy right away," she sounded like the picture of professionalism, even if she felt like there was a Threser Maw eating at her heart.

"Aye aye, Ma'am," Joker stated before cutting the communication.

Shepard turned with a fake smile in place toward the Detective; she studiously avoided looking at Garrus. She swept a stray lock of hair away from her face. "She'll be down shortly. If you will excuse me, I think I am going to get something to eat."

It was a lie that tasted like ashes on her tongue.

"I'll come with you," the dulcet tones of a voice that made her weak at the knees rang in her ears.

'_No!'_ Her mind screamed harshly.

"Sure," her mouth replied before she could stop it.

'_Damn it!'_

"When shall I expect to see you again, Shepard?" Chellick asked with earnest interest.

Shepard twirled a lock of her hair as she pondered his question. She would have to take care of Sidonis for Garrus still. Would it be best to take care of that now? Or later after they helped out Chellick? She could feel a headache of Reaper proportions starting at the base of her skull.

"I will be in your office… let's say 0800 hours, Citadel time?"

"I'd like that," his words carried a gentleness to them that Shepard had never heard before.

"So would I," she gave a small flirtatious smile.

Garrus growled lowly in his throat, his mandibles twitched furiously. "Yes, I'm sure we'd all like to see the _Detective_ tomorrow."

Shepard gave an awkward wave as Garrus grabbed her by her other arm and dragged her down the hallway. The sound of Chellick's laughter as if followed them made her feel lighter somehow. Or… or… it was the green booze.

It did not escape her notice, as Garrus pulled her through the throngs of beings on the Citadel, that several Turian males had turned to stare at her with wide-mandibled shock. Some of them had even created a backup by stopping abruptly when she came within twenty feet of them. Two had let out sharp barks of noise that sounded like crickets scraping their legs together. Garrus had glared at each occurrence at the other Turians. Even a few Asari had given her knowing glances. Shepard felt that she was left out of the loop, so to speak. She knew what it must look like, but they didn't know the full extent of the back story.

Garrus didn't _want_ her.

She had been so caught up with observing the other beings around them that Shepard nearly tripped over her own feet, when they came to halt. Garrus seemed agitated beyond belief. Her brain fuzzily wondered what made him so angry when Chellick had been left back outside the entrance of Flux. He stared down at her.

She stared back up at him expectantly.

He made and impatient gesture.

She blinked at him.

"Shepard?"

"Yes?"

"What do you want to eat?" His tone suggested that he was talking to a small child.

Her hazel eyes scanned their surroundings. They were in the restaurant ward of the Citadel.

'_Oh…right, food_,' she thought belatedly, '_how bad would it be to tell him I'm not actually hungry?'_

Shepard decided against it.


	3. Chapter 3

_**There is nothing greater than reading your reviews! Thank you all so much! I know a few of you have expressed a wish to see more Turian NPC's, and I wanted to take a moment and assure you, there will be more. XD**_

_**And one quote from the review of Lunam-Kardas, because it made me laugh so hard.**_

_**I have learned that doing that 'i-pod' thing really changes how the characters react. O.o XD**_

_**Rated M, I own nothing! All rights belong to Bioware**_

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They had been locked in a silent battle of wills for the past fifteen minutes. Their eyes clashed, silently daring the other to break the silence first. Shepard chewed methodically on her food, a plate of something she couldn't even remember. The taste was bland and carried a distinct cardboard texture, but she swallowed resolutely with each mouthful. Garrus continued to stare at her, his too bright eyes watching her every move while simultaneously returning her gaze.

This was, without a single shred of doubt, the most awkward evening of her life.

It had occurred to her, only after they had sat down with her food as Garrus had declined a need to eat, that she had ordered Tali to go to the C-Sec academy tonight. And, that she had arranged to see Chellick tomorrow. Shepard groaned internally, because she had not meant to make that mistake. Perhaps it was her subconscious eking out some sort of revenge, but it had not been intentional. Irrespective of whatever personal havoc happened in her life, she had never meant to punish Tali.

So, to Shepard, that meant only one thing… she would simply have to go down to C-Sec tonight and wait for Tali. A slight grin broke out over her features at the thought of seeing the familiar walls, and if she were a little lucky, a familiar face. Not necessarily Chellick, but perhaps someone else who she hadn't seen in the two years since she had passed, and the months since she had returned.

Shepard chewed thoughtfully for a moment. Her mind attempted to place faces and names to all the people she had met those three or so years ago when she had first set foot on the Citadel. Her memories danced in amusement as she recalled her thoughts and feelings at the time. She had been so new to the world outside the Alliance, so very green. And, now, as she had been then, all hopes were resting on her. However, that was the life of a marine. It was simply a fact to Shepard. She was a Spectre, had been a Spectre before her death. It was not news to her that she was the first and last line of defense for the Council.

Did that make it easier? Well, honestly, no. However, that did make it her prerogative, and Shepard had a long military history of meeting or exceeding her goals. Yet, thoughts on battle strategies and upgrades would have to wait. Right now she was busy keeping the gaze of an enigmatic Turian with azure markings.

Her consciousness slowly pulled out of her memories and musings. Her hazel eyes were still locked onto piercing blue ones. She made a mental note that they were now almost eighteen minutes without a single word said between the two of them. That was fine by Shepard, she had been looking for solitude earlier; only to end up with an armful of aroused turian. Actually… that part hadn't been so bad.

"What are you smirking about?" The rumble from her companion forced Shepard to wipe the sudden grin off her face.

She blinked at him once, and pulled herself together. She had wanted more time to think about what had occurred between them. Heaven only knew how many times she had given her squad members weeks to think, it seemed like. However, she was the Commander, and that meant facing everything… even when you didn't want to or think you could.

"You know me, Garrus," she said conversationally as she tried to keep her tone light in spite of all that had occurred, "I'm thinking about that new upgrade for the _Normandy_ that Thane mentioned."

She wondered what she had said to upset him when his mandibles twitched in agitation once more.

"I see," he said calmly, but Shepard didn't believe he was for an instant.

"Do you often think about 'upgrades' for the _Normandy_?"

She wrinkled her brow in confusion at his questioned. It seemed like an odd form of small talk to her. Yet, he had asked and there was no reason she could not answer a safe topic like her ship with him.

"About as often as you think about 'calibrations'," she quipped jokingly.

Garrus stiffened suddenly in his chair. His mandibles flared in surprise, before pulling tightly to the planes of his face. Instinct told her that she had treaded somewhere she shouldn't have. Thought Shepard could not fathom what could possibly be upsetting about weapon calibrations. She conceded that it could have been a sore spot, since she had heard a few of the crew teasing him over it. With great determination, she had put a stop to that teasing, lest one member feel singled out and abused.

"Are we done here?" Garrus asked quickly, and it seemed a tad cold to her ears.

"Garrus," she said leaning forward in concern, "If I said something that offended you, I am sorry. I honestly didn't mean to."

She watched him relax into his chair and her heart shuttered in her chest. This was all going downhill quickly. The silence had been preferable to this. Why he was snapping at her, she couldn't say. Luckily, time spent with Jack had further thickened her skin to instant verbal jabs. However, this was _Garrus_, and words always hurt more when coming from someone you cared for very deeply.

Words, while useful, were not her strong point. She had never been in this position before exactly, Oh, there had been many crushes on unattainable males, or the relationships she'd had that did not work out. But, none of them had held her trust and affection like the turian sitting across from her. She numbly pushed the affection down to where she could function. The pain was simply too fresh to deal with properly right now. She would need time, and space.

Preferably, space without Tali or Garrus, but that would not come until after she helped out Chellick. And, she reminded herself quickly, she still had to help Garrus find Sidonis. After that, however, she could close herself off in her quarters at least for one night and sort through this so that it would not impede the mission. She was a grown woman, and she had to act like it.

'_Because love may be one of the important things in life, but it does not give you the excuse to fall apart like some delicate goddamned flower,'_ she thought sagely that truer words had never been in existence. Part of her wanted to rage against the unfairness of it all, not having the returned adoration of someone she loved. But, she didn't have time to cry right now, and she certainly didn't have any more time to waste if she was going to collect Tali.

"Yeah, we're done here," Shepard responded tightly. Her heart aching as the words left her mouth.

Her chair scraped along the metal floor of the overgrown cafeteria and she picked up her tray to dispose of it.

"Alright then, let's head back to the _Normandy_," Garrus said, rising to stand.

"You go ahead," she motioned toward the door, "I have something to take care of."

Blue eyes narrowed at her calculatingly for a few heartbeats. "And, what do you have to take care of?"

Shepard would have been amused at the suspicion in his tone if it didn't cause a fiery path of indignation to run down her spine. Her gaze snapped to his, and the hurt could not be entirely closed off. Her voice, when she finally found words to speak was filled with a harshness she wouldn't hold back.

"I'm going to go get _Tali_," she stated lowly, "Because I ordered her to report to the C-Sec academy, remember?"

She sneered at him, before controlling herself. This was unbecoming of her. She clenched her fists a few times, feeling the urge to fight coil around her like a snake. She longed for action, for an outlet to her frustrations.

"Right. I'm coming," he stated boldly, as if her opinion didn't matter. He was so blaze about the statement it was as if he hadn't just trampled all over her feelings again.

Shepard deflated slightly. '_Of course, mention Tali and he comes running,_' she thought humorlessly. '_Stop it Shepard,_' she chided again, '_It's no one's fault. You should be happy for them._' And, she knew she should, but she wasn't able to be that adult about the whole thing just yet. She drew a deep breath and held if for a moment, refusing to look anywhere but directly at him.

"Of course, but I'm leading this time," she said in a rush as she exhaled. It was an attempt at jocularity between them.

Shepard moved past Garrus quickly, taking great care not to touch him in any way. It once more did not escape her notice that many turians stopped as she passed. Their mandibles flaring wide in shock, or amusement she couldn't say. It had occurred to Shepard, more than once this evening, that she was not a very good 'reader' of turians. It was still eating at her slowly, that Garrus was so upset with someone else showing interest in her. What right did he have to be upset?

The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. Her eyes scanned the surrounding crowd for possible threats, a hazard of being long-term military. Even thought she was distracted, she refused to let her guard down. She had seen how well that worked out for poor Nihlus. Her anger tempered slightly under the force of lingering sorrow. She had truly liked Nihlus, and had been saddened when he had been murdered so brutally. It had been in a manner that did not befit a soldier as great as he.

A sharp movement to her left, caused Shepard to sidestep quickly, as a Hanar wandered directly into her path. Though they were polite jelly-fish people, Shepard often wondered if they understood the terms 'the flow of traffic'. She spared a searing glance in 'that one's' direction. Sometimes she felt in over her head with all the different cultures and species. Other times she launched herself into the fray with a twisted delight.

She failed to notice the C-Sec soldier right in front of her before she bumped into him. He was a turian. '_Of course,_' Sheppard groaned morosely to herself, '_What a shock… another turian!'_

"Hey!" He cried out in surprise. "What where you are going hu-"

Shepard felt a growing sense of dismay as the unnamed male stopped midsentence and gawked at her. There was no other way to describe it. It mandibles clacked slightly and his eyes strayed from her to Garrus. Then he continued to glance between her and Garrus with wide eyes. She could see his confusion, and she sympathized. She had no idea how to explain it either.

"Something you want to say solider?" The low growl of warning came from Garrus, and Shepard tried to reel back the overwhelming blush that decorated her cheeks.

She really needed a shower. This was just getting embarrassing.

"Are you…? I mean, no Sir. Have a pleasant day," The turian nodded hastily before ducking away from Shepard as if she had burned him.

She peeked up at Garrus questioningly, but found him staring at the back of the retreating turian. Well… alright then. Shepard shook her head in confusion and continued toward the elevator.

"Shepard?"

"Yes, Garrus?"

She pushed the button and listened with disinterest to the music as it played above them. Her body rebelled against her iron-clad will as it began to heat to the close proximity of her sniper. Damn the extranet! If she didn't know that he could smell her arousal, she would have felt better about the whole thing. Unfortunately, it appeared that Cerberus had sinister plans. They must have all been heartless bastards because the alcohol was almost completely out of her system.

Those sober fascists! Her list of potential outlets was steadily decreasing.

"Do you ever miss those talks we had on the elevators?" He asked jovially, and she spared him a glance.

"What talks? As I recall, it was you and the rest of the team that talked on the elevators," she responded crisply, "I just listened."

He floundered for a moment, as if he were unsure of what to say. His planned speech most likely had died a swift death and Shepard was pleased. She shouldn't have been, but it made her feel just slightly better that she wasn't the only one on uneven ground.

Garrus's blue eyes stared at her intently, before he ducked his head with a noise of frustration. "Shepard, I think we should… talk."

Oh God, how she hated that word now. She snuck a hand out and began to repeatedly press the 'up' button. She wanted off of this contraption, and she wanted it _now_.

"Now really isn't a good time Garrus," she said trying to hide the mounting wave of emotions threatened to overwhelm her.

He paused and his frame stiffened for a moment, then he nodded readily. "You're right; we'll talk back on the ship."

"Sure."

'_Not a snowball's chance in hell,_' she thought sweetly, '_At least not until I've had some time to kill something_.' Channel her frustration, hurt, and sorrow into something useful… like killing things. Really, she was beginning to see a similarity between her and Grunt almost every day.

Didn't this thing go faster? What year was this? And, they still couldn't make instant transporters?

The door opened finally and Shepard nearly launched herself out. Or, at least as quickly as maintaining her dignity would allow. She took a breath and glanced around the academy. She could not remember exactly where visitors were supposed to go, but she could wander around until she found Tali. Her footsteps were sure, and she could hear the clunk of Garrus's boots behind her. She knew that every turian officer was staring at her. Shepard met their stares with her own.

She felt Garrus shift closer to her. His pace nearly matched her own, where he had been behind her not moments ago. He looked like a subordinate following his Commander. Which, he was. Shepard reminded herself that she knew nothing of turian culture, not really anyway. What had occurred could mean nothing in his society, but the lingering stares told her that was not the case.

This was just not going to be a good day… night… whatever the time it was.

As she rounded the corner, after having gone up the stairs to her right, she was greeted with the familiar back of her squad mate. Or, at least she was pretty sure it was Tali. From behind, sometimes, it was hard to tell. Especially when they had similar suits, Shepard had a hard time distinguishing her without help of Tali's voice.

"Tali'Zorah!" She called happily.

The quarian turned to her shout quickly. The relief was palatable in her form and Shepard hurried over to her side.

"Keelah! Shepard you had me worried. I thought you weren't coming," the other female stated rapidly and Shepard smiled at her disarmingly.

Though, inside she didn't want to speak with Tali. She certainly didn't want to bring her along on this favor to Chellick, but she would never say that out loud. Shepard shifted from one foot to the next, her hand rested on her holstered weapon.

"Sorry about that," she said behind Tali to stare at nothing, "I lost track of time."

"Oh, it's alright," Tali assured her easily, "I was just having an interesting conversation with Detective Chellick."

Shepard blinked at her dumbly; her attention had swung back to her companion.

"Chellick is here?" She asked quietly, a small burst of hope and embarrassment mingled within her.

A small snarl sounded directly behind her head and Shepard repressed the urge to grimace.

"We've got who we came for," he stated in irritation, "let's get back to the ship. We'll be here tomorrow morning to report."

Shepard fiddled with the holster of her pistol. This was uncomfortable at best.

"I still have to finish being coded into the C-Sec system," Tali interrupted informatively.

"Oh," Shepard started congenially, "we can't leave before that."

She could feel Garrus staring at the back of her head and prayed he didn't have any fresh heat sinks on his person. A small part of her felt satisfaction at his anger. He had absolutely no say in who she saw, or whatever she did outside of missions. It was the satisfaction of a woman scorned. A petty, human emotion, that Shepard should have felt ashamed for, but couldn't bring herself to be.

So, therefore it was that part of her which caused Shepard to turn with a flirtatious smile toward Garrus. "We wouldn't want to be rude to the nice Detective, now would we?"

She had the feeling 'rude' did not adequately describe what Garrus wanted to be. And, there was a thrum of excitement, until he moved to speak with Tali. She scolded herself for being so childish. She shouldn't provoke Garrus, because it was stupid to do so. Shepard needed to behave like the adult she claimed to be. Her heart might be breaking, and her head was pounding from stress, but she would endure as she had before. So, she engaged in idle chatter while they waited. The Commander pretended that it didn't sting to talk with the woman who'd won Garrus's affections.

"Alright Miss Neema, you're all finish-"

Shepard turned to see Chellick coming through his office. His C-Sec uniform in place and her heart skipped a beat at how similar he looked to Garrus the first time she had met him. Her cheeks flushed in shy yearning.

His mandibles stretched into a Turian grin, and his green eyes flashed under the artificial light.

"Shepard," he greeted, clearly pleased.

"_Commander_ Shepard," the sniper corrected in a hiss.

Chellick spared him a glance before continuing toward Shepard, who smiled at him in greeting.

"Detective Chellick," she stated warmly, if not just a touch bashful. Her pulse pounded under his appraising gaze. Shepard had not changed back into armor yet, and her civilian clothes were not revealing by any stretch of the imagination, but they were flattering.

"How was your meal?"

"Fine, thank you," she replied arching a brow at his line of questioning.

"If you are still hungry, I hear that humans like to partake in something called 'dessert'," he intoned flirtatiously.

Shepard felt her mouth slacken in surprise. Was the Detective asking her out? She had no idea how Turians went about dating, but as they had already concluded, she was not turian. It was so terribly sweet, that Shepard felt marginally better about coming to C-Sec. Her hazel eyes flickered down and then back up to Chellick who stood patiently waiting for her reply.

"I don't think that will be necessary," Garrus responded smugly at her silence.

Her ire spiked to new heights and Shepard placed a very sultry grin on her lips. "Oh come one Garrus," she all but purred, "I had dinner with you. I can have _dessert_ with the Detective."

She tried not to see the victorious smirk he threw at Garrus, who bristled like an angry bird.

"If everything is taken care of, we could go now. If that is convenient for you… Chellick?" It was not by accident that the word 'Detective' had been dropped. He gave a small rumble of pleasure at her words.

"I'm available," he said sexily.

Shepard looked back at a Garrus, her eyes conveying her displeasure at his hypocritical stance on her love life. Garrus had the grace to look uncomfortable and out of place. His ruined armor from Omega was a glaring difference between him and the pristine image of Chellick. Garrus, Shepard thought, was a vigilantly laid-low by the sick political games of supposed 'civilized' cultures. Chellick was the rule-abiding turian that represented the ideal of what every Turian was supposed to be.

And, he was very handsome, she conceded. But he wasn't Garrus.

Her heart slowed at that understanding. If she went with Chellick, she decided she had to see him as Chellick. Green-eyed, with Light colored plates and white markings… Chellick. She still loved Garrus. She knew she always would. But, for a few minutes would it really be so terrible to be with someone that wanted her?

"What a coincidence, "she murmured, "So am I."

Chellick nodded, and ushered her into his office. Shepard strode forward with confidence as the worried strains of Tali's voice floated in her ears.

"Is everything aright Garrus?"

"I'm… I'm not sure," he replied in confusion.

She wasn't sure either, but doing something, was always better than doing nothing. Right?


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey all! Thanks so very much for reading and for your reviews!**_

_**I own nothing, rated M. You have been warned, don't come crying to me if there are sexy bits. Unless, of course, it is complimentary… then, I'm free to listen. :D**_

OoOoOo

She valiantly tried to convince herself that she wasn't watching Garrus through the translucent door. Chellick had been quick to invite her within his office while he closed down his terminal and prepared to leave. Shepard had to admit that he was an efficient C-Sec officer, a true credit to his force. Not only had he managed to document everything that had transpired during their 'self-extraction' from a precarious situation, but he had also managed to add the extra members to his sting operation in only the time it had taken her to consume a meal.

Truly, considering the mountains of paper work she remembered from the Alliance, it was an impressive feat. It had occurred to her twice since she had met him that her team, and consequently the mission, could benefit from someone like him. However, there was really only room in her chaotic life for one turian to run ramshackle through her life. And, she was fairly certain that Miranda might have a biotic embolism if she gave the good Detective access to Cerberus files.

She wondered vaguely if omni-gel could fix a biotic embolism.

Her hazel eyes were drawn to linger on Chellick's white markings. They so crisply adorned his features under the florescent light. She admitted gently, that he was an attractive specimen for any race. However, it didn't take a person of Mordin's intelligence to know that her affections were firmly planted in the Turian with Azure standing out proudly against his ice-blue eyes.

Shepard sighed in the small space, taking just a few deep breaths to collect her thoughts. Her emotions were erratic, and she had not been given proper time to process the whole debacle. She wanted desperately to act like nothing had occurred. To be Garrus's friend, but as much as she wanted to, she just didn't think she could right now. That is why she had leapt at the chance to escape his presence, and subsequently unusual behavior.

Her hands clenched reflexively to the tension coursing through her body. She flicked her gaze to Chellick's green eyes. They were striking in their own right, and he seemed to possess a good disposition when he wasn't condemning her species as 'brash'. _'Thought,'_ she thought with humor, _'sometimes the description is appropriate,'_

Systematically, she forced the thoughts of the night from her consciousness. This was not the time or the place. She blinked once to recall how many times she had been forced to remind herself of that fact throughout her time on the Citadel. More than one, had been too many. However, she was not like Samara or those that possessed the unique ability to remove unpleasant feeling entirely from the situation. Yet, Shepard could function under duress, something she had an exorbitant amount of experience in.

She smiled with a sad sort of amusement and glanced back through the door at Garrus. Blue eyes stared directly back at her. She noted that he and Tali were still standing where she had left them. A small frown took over the place where her smile had been. She did not understand why they were still there. Shepard grew exasperated at the simple unfairness of life, even if she had technically been 'alive' twice now; some things never appeared to change. Putting on the face of the Commanding officer she was, Shepard gave Garrus a questioning look through the translucent door.

It appeared to only make Garrus dig in his proverbial heels. His back straightened and he switched from looking at her, to staring intently at Chellick. Shepard fought the wave of foreboding that threatened to crash over her. Humans were in essence, a selfish species. The history of her people was littered with examples of greed, and irrational decisions. It had been the greatest testament to their capabilities when they had managed to put wars with each other away for wars with other species. It had not been an easy road, if she recalled her lessons correctly, but they had done it. Now, however, she felt the stirrings of selfishness that her ancestors must have felt.

Was it really so terrible to want just a few moments to feel alive? To feel like someone wanted her? Shepard only gave time to these feelings because there were no missions to be completed, aside from the person favor Garrus had requested.

It was then that the cold feeling of nausea crept up the back of her throat. Tactically she had to consider all options. One niggling concern danced in the back of her mind. Was Garrus so concerned because he worried she would not help him find Sidonis? As quickly as the thought came, she crushed it. '_No,'_ she reminded herself promptly, '_he wouldn't get into some Turian stand-off over Sidonis.'_ Yet, she did not dismiss the notion that his earlier actions could have been explained by wanting to protect his superior officer.

The thought was both unflattering, and mildly sweet.

"Are you ready to go, Shepard?"

She glanced over to the handsome face of Chellick. His mandibles flared slightly at her heated look of concentration, before she smiled brightly.

"Of course," she responded cordially, "out of curiosity, where are we going?"

His face stretched into the turian equivalent of amusement. "Honestly? I have only heard a few of the human officers talking about places they like in the Zakera Ward."

A bemused expression crossed her face. "The merchant ward?"

"The very same one," he gave a low chuckle, "they swear that there is a great little… café?"

Shepard felt a tug of endearment as they both stumbled into the species barrier that having different amino acids caused.

She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from giving a nervous laugh. "Café is the right word."

Chellick relaxed slightly under her softened tone. He tentatively reached out his hand. Shepard stared at the blue-gloved appendage with too few fingers. After a moment of hesitation, she gently placed her own over-fingered hand in his own. A small flush crept up at her cheeks as she felt the hawkish stare of Garrus at the back of her head. She should not have felt embarrassed. She was a grown woman, not currently involved in a romantic relationship, and held every right to hold the detective's hand.

Her turian companion clacked his mandibles once, and Shepard had the feeling he was grinning. However, without lips it was hard for her to tell. She was used to reading Garrus, not his species as a whole.

Chellick lead them through his office door, and Shepard resolutely refused to look at Garrus. Her eyes betrayed her slightly by landing on Tali, whose expression she could not see. Her heart hammered quickly in her ears as a strange sort of adrenaline rush broke over her system. It was not about making Garrus jealous, truly, that was not her wish. She just needed to live in her own right. She had spent years, both dead and alive, pining after Garrus. Now, with his preference out in the open, she needed to let him have a chance at the happiness he wanted.

Even, if it wasn't her.

She watched the passers-by as they walked toward the elevator they would take to the Zakera ward. She found herself confined to another small space with a turian. Shepard glanced down at their intertwined hands in a detached sort of awe. It had only been 28 years since the First Contact Wars with the turians, and here she was hand-in-hand with one, but in love with another. They could not have been the first to participate in such a game of flirting and she knew they would not be the last. At least, not if she had anything to say about it, Reapers be damned.

"I have to confess," Chellick stated softly in the small space between them, "I looked up some human customs on the extranet in my office."

Shepard snapped her head in his direction, a faint blush rising on her cheeks. IT was a very sweet thing, and helped her feel less awkward about not knowing the first thing about Turians outside of what she had been told. Well, that and some biological sites on the extranet.

A small chuckle escaped her of its own volition. "You're in good company," she looked around conspiratorially, "I've looked up things on turians too."

Chellick's mandibles flared in surprise and his eyes burned with that strange light they had held outside of Flux. Shepard felt her breath catch in her throat, and a pool of desire flared in her belly.

"And what did you learn?" He asked her, his voice dropped an octave or two. The delicious rumble went straight to fanning her rising desire.

"I'll tell you, if you tell me," she whispered a tad breathlessly.

"Shepard," he nearly growled, "I'm surprised at you. As the first human Spectre, I thought you knew how an interrogation went."

She licked her dry lips, and pulled her hand from his. She lowered her eyelashes to stare at him appraisingly. His posture did not scream of a threat, so she let the defensive part of her mind rest for a few moments longer. Heaven only knew how soon some idiot would be trying to shoot her again, but Chellick was not an idiot.

Coyly she smirked at him. "Detective, as a Spectre, I'm above the long arm of the law." Involuntarily she chastised herself for thinking of Garrus and 'reach' again.

She watched him advance upon her in the small space, and she allowed herself to take a step back only when his armor came into contact with her chest. His predatory eyes gleamed in the elevator like a beacon of lust and desire. Her body responded in kind to his nearness. A small growl emitted from his throat, and he ducked his head near her neck. She felt the tiny pin-prick like sensation of his mandibles as they ghosted over her flesh.

"Strange," he said huskily, "I don't think you're out of my reach."

A soft tumbled from her lips as she felt the leather-like plates of his skin against her neck. She realized dimly that he was nuzzling her. The gesture was welcomed and felt almost too intimate for how little they knew of each other. There was plenty of attraction, respect, and even perhaps a touch of friendship. But, none of those categories could properly place this action. It spoke of want, commitment, and affection. Shepard traced the back of his fringe, and desperately tried to move his head.

His taloned hands tightened around her midsection with a possessive grip. Shepard felt that strange scraping of his plates against her skin. Once again, not uncomfortable, but not pleasurable either. A rumble of satisfaction vibrated from his chest and Shepard closed her eyes against the sensation.

The ding of the elevator washed over her like a bucket of cold water. She pushed gently against Chellick, and he backed up swiftly. She turned her attention to the door with dread and dismay. The gawking eyes of two Volus stared back at them. One coughed discretely, and the other twitched within his suit.

"Pardon us, Earth-Clan, Palaven-Clan," he stated with obvious embarrassment as they scrambled around Shepard into the elevator.

She felt her face heat up with the force of a supernova. She straightened her posture and marched off out like she had every right to be caught nearly necking with the Detective. She could hear the strained bark of laughter Chellick gave off and she then she was laughing herself. It was almost the perfect end to a dreadful day, to be caught by Volus. It seemed to Shepard, that the tension between her and Chellick melted in the combined noise of their laughter.

His mandibles widened into a grin, and she gave one in return.

"So, dessert?" She asked impishly.

Another chuckled accompanied her words. "Yes, dessert. It is the one thing I have learned that human females hold in great esteem."

"You bet your gun we do," she stated seriously. It had been ages since she had indulged in something cold and sweet. Shepard fervently hoped that there was ice-cream or chocolate wherever they were going.

The tiny blip on her omni-tool gave her pause mentally. Physically, she began to engage Chellick in small conversation about what they had both mutually learned about the other species. However, she dragged her eyes back to the tool on her arm with a strange mix of anger, dismay, and excitement. She knew that Garrus was a sniper of the highest caliber, and an excellent solider. So she wondered with increasing curiosity, why he didn't think to disable the tracking device in his omni-tool. She could tell he was twenty feet or so behind them. Shepard was his commanding officer, and therefore, was entitled to his frequency so that she could keep track of her people in battle.

That meant she could tell he was following her, thanks to the tool directly on her wrist. And, it meant that she knew Tali was with him. How she felt about that little tidbit could not have been said in polite company. But, that was neither here nor there at the moment. What mattered right now was that she was on an outing with the Detective.

They crossed main area over to the stairs, and Chellick lead her up toward the lounge Shepard had visited before when talking with the Presidium grounds keeper. She joked with Chellick about his work, and the ridiculous amount of paperwork that any organization seemed to sport like a medal of honor. She discovered that Chellick lived for the righteous hunt of the bad guys. All his hopes and dreams were intertwined with C-Sec to the point where they almost shared a blood supply. Shepard had to respect that viewpoint. For she had lived and breathed the Alliance until she became a Spectre, then she had existed solely to stop the extinction of all known sentient life.

She brushed a stray lock of hair from her face and covertly scanned the surrounding area. She was unable to spot either Garrus or Tali. They were good, she gave them that, but she was better. She was Shepard, God-dammit. Her hazel eyes tailed the walkway with scrutiny, before turning a shy smile to Chellick. She really was no good at the whole 'date' thing, but looking for covert operative? Now _that _she could do with ease.

"Are you sure you know where we are going?" She asked after a few minutes of wandering.

"Yes, I know where we are going," he replied in a flustered manner.

"Hm," she teased him gently, "why don't we go in here?"

Chellick gave her a look of disbelief. "The Zakera Café?"

Shepard smothered a grin, and laced her hand in his to tug him along. She nodded in greeting to the turian behind the counter. His avian eyes darted between Shepard and Chellick in open curiosity. His mandibles flared in mild surprise as she approached him with the other male in tow. Her back hurt, and so did her feet, but she wanted to make this easier for them both. It was sympathy, coupled with earnest interest. She was also quite simply, done walking around the Citadel. It was time for her to sleep, and very late according to any planet time. She ground herself into her surroundings with the glass windows that would allow her to spot two of her squad mates.

"Welcome to the Zakera Café," the turian began and Shepard wondered if all turians sounded so… appealing.

She felt a familiar embarrassment, when the male's eyes widened slightly and his mandibles flared. He stared at Chellick like he had two heads, and Shepard tightened her grasp on his hand. She felt her frustration and aggression boil over into speaking with the merchant.

"If you are done staring at us, we would like to purchase something from your _fine_ establishment," she hissed menacingly.

The turian closed his mandibles with an audible 'clack'. His demeanor shifted to be slightly more respectful, and Shepard made a mental note not to come back here again. He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, and she heard Chellick laugh softly from her side.

"Ah, yes… of course," the male gestured to the console to his right, "it's all on that terminal."

She gave him a nod of thanks and let go of Chellick's hand. She pulled up the large selection of foodstuffs. Her mind wandered as they bent over the menu in thought. She was focused on the nearness of the turian next to her. She breathed his scent in quietly. Shepard knew that the human sense of smell was nothing compared to theirs, but she found his smell comforting. It lingered on him, and on her. A small wave of desire crashed over her at the memory of the elevator. The thoughts of how near he had been, the feel of him upon her had her biting her lip in forced concentration at the menu.

She knew that he could most likely smell her, and his mandibles quivered at the increase in her desire. Shepard spent a few moments fighting down the natural human reaction to a potential partner. Chellick shifted subtly closer to her and one of his talons ran the length of her arm. Shepard shivered under his touch. It was all happening too fast. It was all too much. She shut her eyes against the goose bumps prickling her flesh. She knew that there was a thin razor of danger hidden in this situation. It held the possibility to all go right, or so horribly wrong that fighting the collectors would be a saving grace.

Part of her knew this was exceedingly foolish, but she needed comfort right now. She was only human, despite whatever Cerberus had made of her. Shepard was still human with wants and needs for security just like any other. Her eyes opened to the intense look on Chellick's face.

"You know what? I'm really not that hungry right now," she said quietly.

Chellick leaned into her words like an embrace, his free hand coming up to play with the strands of hair that dangled from the end of her ponytail. His eyes slid closed in a second of intimacy that caused Shepard's throat to tighten in yearning. She wanted this closeness, this… everything, with someone else. Someone, who, according to the blips coming from her omni-tool was coming closer and quickly.

"Garrus," she said with want emanating from every syllable.

Chellick stilled for a moment. "I know," he said with a tolerant expression, "but some things are just worth fighting for Shepard."

She was confused by his words. Her mind fogged with the sweetness of his words, and his sudden nibbling at her neck.

"No," she gasped in mounting desperation, "Garrus is coming this way."

And he was. With fury blazing in his eyes, and the neon blue glow of his headpiece glinting out form the milling civilians. Chellick blinked at her in surprise as he pulled away from her neck with resignation in his movement. His gaze followed hers and he blinked in a calculating manner.

"What do you suppose is going to happen?"

She could tell the question was rhetorical, but she couldn't stop herself from replying.

"Nothing short of 50,000 credits in damage," she quipped tightly.

Chellick swore under his breath. Her translator glitched on the words, but she understood the meaning well enough. Yet, she couldn't stop herself from feeling a swell of hope as her angry squad mate came charging into the establishment.

"Shepard," Garrus hissed staring down at her with emotions she couldn't name.

She looked up at him defiantly, before turning her attention toward the door.

"Tali!" She exclaimed sweetly at the quarian trailing in the wake of the enraged turian.

"Um… hello Shepard," she stated awkwardly.

Shepard looked from Garrus to Tali, and then to Chellick.

"So," she said conversationally gesturing around the store, "who's hungry?"


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hey thanks again for all the lovely reviews! I really enjoy knowing what I am doing right, or wrong, with this story! And, reviews make me update faster…O.o**_

_**Here we go! Hooray for Angst! And for Marines! XD Semper Fidelis!**_

_**Rated M, I own nothing. XD **_

OoOoOo

Shepard stared resolutely at her quarian companion. She admired many things about Tali'Zorah Vas Neema. She admired her intelligence in and off the field of battle. She had always admired the young female's spirit and sense of adventure. Her docile nature, combined with the fierce desire to better the universe and her people as a whole, had always left Shepard filled with pride. Sometimes, Shepard had been humbled by the innocent ideals of the quarian in front of her.

Therefore, she was disgusted with herself for the poison-like sensation of jealousy that carved a path straight to her heart. She saw in Tali, everything that she was not. In that masked face, she saw everything that she could no longer be and it made her feel very insecure. It was beneath her, and it was so startlingly wrong to feel the sting of envy. Shepard tried to shake the feeling off like a winter coat, but it remained steadfast in her thoughts.

She, as a commander and a friend, should not feel anything other than amicable toward her subordinate. However, Tali was in the full bloom of youth and alluring mysteriousness. Shepard was not an old woman by any stretch of the imagination, but she still felt the subtle pangs of an ageing body. Her knees were stiff sometimes from crouching and movements in combat. Her shoulders ached after bouts of gunfire. Cerberus, when they had rebuilt her form, had played a pivotal role in easing some of these ailments. However, Shepard was still human, irrespective of what had been implanted within her.

She had a warrior's body. And, a warrior never lived without some consequence for the constant strain they placed themselves under. Shepard had known this when she became a marine. In the beginning, a naïve part of her, had relished the aches as badges of merit. As she had gone through the ranks, as she had grown wiser, she understood keenly, that there would come a time when she reached her peak. As she glanced into the dark mask of Tali, she felt she had finally found her peak.

However, that did not mean that Shepard was without her own charms. She could tell by the events of the last few hours that the good detective to her right, found her to be intriguing, to say the very least. Her features were pleasant, she knew. And, she bore an air of authority which translated species barriers well enough. Yet, in spite of those facts, she felt rather… ungainly in the presence of Miss Vas Neema.

After the doubt, a modicum of anger splashed in her chest. What was it about Tali that caught his attention? She squashed the rebellious feeling as quickly as it had come. Tali was not to blame. No one was. And, logically, Shepard knew that. No matter what her feelings were, the mission came first. Had always come first, and would continue to come first. Even if it left her feeling exposed and brittle, she would pull herself up to move forward.

She was a Marine and a Spectre for fuck's sake!

The hair on the back of her arms pricked as the air pressure changed. She refused to acknowledge Garrus as it had only lead to a heated confrontation during their last encounter. Her hazel eyes scanned Tali and Chellick. Their faces, well his face and Tali's mask, remained impassive. It did not escape her notice, that the Turian shopkeeper had moved into the backrooms, if the slamming of the security door, was anything to go by.

"I'm-I'm not really hungry, Shepard," Tali answered earnestly as her hands twisted to display her anxiety.

Shepard felt the tension coil in the muscles of her shoulders and her gaze betrayed her with a quick glance toward Garrus, who was busy glaring at Chellick again with mandibles drawn tightly to his face. Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath.

"Are you hungry?" The question slipped past her lips before she could stop it.

"Not particularly," Chellick muttered dryly.

"Alright then," Shepard said tightly with a strained smile adorning her features, "if no one is hungry, I'll just head back to the Normandy. I will see you in eight hours, Detective."

Her tone had been strictly business, but she could still see Garrus tighten like a coiled spring ready to snap at the slightest provocation. Her hazel eyes narrowed at the body language he was transmitting.

"I'm with you," Tali said almost too brightly, "see you later Detective."

Shepard held her breath, a silent prayer was sent in the hopes that Garrus wouldn't fly into another turian rage. Surprise filtered through her thoughts like the sunlight through a window-shade. Her hazel eyes gave a calculating appraisal of the situation. She noted that Garrus had not reacted negatively to Tali bidding the other male goodbye. However, he had been incredibly aggressive when she had spent time with said male. It did not take an Asari Matriarch to see what was going on.

Shepard understood Garrus was jealous.

A slight stirring in her heart caused Shepard to shift to the left a little, a subconscious gesture toward Garrus. She would not lie and pretend that knowing he felt _something_ for her was better than nothing. Yet, it was not the _something _she had placed all of her hopes in. With a steel will she was often known for, Shepard squashed the feelings down until an appropriate time. After the initial reaction, she contemplated all his jealousy could mean.

The knowledge did not sit well in her stomach however, for she understood this could be counter-productive to their greater mission of stopping the Collectors. The synapses in her reconstructed brain fired at an alarming rate. Shepard was still wholly human, filled with emotion and passion like any other of her species.

Her muscles tightened under her clothing as she turned toward Tali once more. Chellick turned a worried stare, or what she thought was worry, in her direction. A quick flash of teeth as her lips pulled back into a grin was all she could manage to assure him.

Shepard led them from the store into the main area with a mask of neutrality in place. She waited until she could hear the steps of Tali right at her six. Shepard halted.

"We are going to the docking bay," she stated leaving no room for argument, 'when we get to C-Sec academy Garrus I need to speak with you."

"Understood, Shepard," he responded greatly subdued.

"What's going on?" Tali asked in sweet confusion.

Shepard forced the scowl off her face. "Nothing you need to worry about."

"Alright, if you say so," the quarian answered slightly timidly.

Well, she did say so. '_So enough with the questions which border on insubordination,'_ she thought forcefully.

Shepard snapped on her heel and led her squad through the bowels of the Citadel network system. The trip was long and tense. She forced the cruel and undeserving thoughts from her mind, and tried to block the stunned faces of more turians as she passed by. Garrus continued to give a deadly glare at any male that entreated into her personal space.

Shepard wanted to sigh in relief at the sight of the C-Sec academy sign, which stood out proudly on the stark metal corridor. She punched a security code into her comm system to block access by Cerberus. They had absolutely no business in her discussion with her subordinates.

"Tali, continue to the ship," Shepard commanded stoically.

"Yes, Shepard," her masked face dipped quickly before her non-human feet carried her quickly away.

Shepard felt some of the restlessness dissipate at her departure. Her gaze sliced over to her remaining companion.

"Shepard-"

She held up a finger to stop him. Her ire rose quickly as she recalled the previous hours with obvious malcontent. She started toward a small room in the corridor. It was completely empty and contained nothing except a single light fixture. She speculated that it was an area recently vacated by a keeper. She motioned Garrus inside. He looked at her hardly for a moment before stepping past her into the room.

As soon as she closed in behind him, she was on him.

"What the hell was all that about Vakarian?" Her hissed question caused him to stiffen.

"It was… a matter of physiology," he growled warningly.

"Physiology?" The confusion was evident in her face, and it took president over her righteous anger.

"Sort of, yes," he bit out angrily.

"Are you sick, Garrus?"

"No! Yes! I- I'm not sure," he admitted and his mandibles clenched tightly.

Worry overrode her actions and Shepard stepped nearer to him. Her hand was slightly outstretched in open entrustment.

"What's going on here Garrus?"

"Shepard, you are my friend. You're the only one in this whole galaxy I trust, but I…" his mandibles clicked in agitation.

Shepard neared him; the room suddenly seemed so small as she gazed at his handsome face. The scar did nothing except accentuate his markings and the sharp planes of his face.

Her voice hitched in her throat. "You?"

Garrus paused for a few moments, before scratching at the back of his head. "Damn... I knew you would ask that. I don't want to jepordize the mission, or our friendship, but…"

"But what?"

"You don't know what it's like Shepard!"

The turian's yell echoed between them like a concussive shell. Shepard felt her control snap in that fragile moment. Her posture changed to threatening, and she pushed harshly against Garrus.

Her eyes flashed underneath the florescent light, putting most stars to shame in an instant. "Then what _is_ it like Vakarian? I have no idea what is up or down with us until you tell me!"

Her words were clipped and filled with the bitterness she could no longer keep at bay. Her tone strained under the raw hurt emanating, seemingly, from her very soul. This was her spirit, her love, and her shattered hope laid bare for him to see. It was her greatest moment of weakness and the pivotal second of previously unknown strength.

Her eyes softened as did her voice while she fought for order among her emotional chaos.

"What _is _it like?" The question repeated easily between them. This time more like the adult she was trying to be.

"It…Shepard," Garrus began with his mandibles flaring widely in frustration, "You…it…it's not… you just wouldn't understand."

"Then make me understand Garrus," the plea was bundled in the growing sense of pained confusion she felt.

"I-I can't," his words were small and broken, " I just can't."

Shepard watched his gaze break away from hers as if she had shot him. Her chest felt ablaze in fiery numbness at his words. She did not understand what he couldn't do, or even what they were really talking about. Her instincts told her this was more than just a simple admission. Those five words somehow summed up everything the turian could or would say. Their impact was unknown and unquantifiable.

Her hazel eyes bored into the azure markings on his face.

"Fine," she uttered gently, "if you don't want to look me in the eyes, this conversation is over."

Garrus's mandibles shuttered closed in apprehension or regret, she could not tell. Wistfully she hoped it was the latter. Her spine straightened as pride took the place of confusion and hurt. Pride, which had always come before the fall, was now her saving grace. She wouldn't break down in front of Garrus. Come hell or high water she would march her ass out of this room and back to her quarters.

'_There might be a bar or two on the way there_,'she thought humorlessly as her legs felt like lead weights, '_but for now… get out of this room.'_

The room, which had seemed so very small just moments ago, was now larger than the whole of Omega. Each step felt wrong, and difficult, but she soldered on. Shepard held her head high to the point where her muscles were strained unnaturally.

At the door, she paused briefly. Her attention stayed in front of her, refusing to even glance back at the quiet male.

"When you can Garrus, you know where to find me," she stated with conviction before her soft steps were swallowed by the noise of the station.

Shepard's hands trembled with a rush of adrenaline, and the air was too thin for her to grasp a proper breath. She settled for drawing in long gulps of precious oxygen through her nose and panting once out of her mouth. Her head was swimming, and her thoughts were scrambled six ways form Sunday as she trudged ever-onward down the corridors of the Citadel.

She collided with someone exiting an establishment she could only vaguely recall. The Asari snarled out something about her 'rudeness' and being an 'ass'. Shepard was unable to force the apology past her lips in enough time for the other person to hear. As swiftly as the blue being had been there, she was gone again, leaving just Shepard standing numbly in the hall.

She placed a hand to her head, and ran it through her hair. Belatedly, she realized that somewhere along the way, she had lost her hairband. Her brown hair hung around her shoulders in a soft curtain. Shepard snorted in disgust. She was out here falling apart, when there wasn't any damn time. She rubbed her temples in quiet contemplation. It was enough of a breath to feel the pulsing base of music behind her. It emanated from the establishment the Asari had left.

Her hands trailed away from her head slowly. She cast a furtive gaze at remembered location. If she was correct, and she often was, this place was filled to the brim with scantily clad Asari. '_And booze_,' she added as an afterthought. Shepard blew out an exasperated breath. In reality, she should return directly to the ship. She had been out late enough, and the more time she wasted was less time to sleep.

However… booze.

If she were to justify the excursion into the bar, she could rationally say that it was observation work for Chellick's merc problems. Shepard didn't buy it, but that didn't mean someone else wouldn't. She leaned against the nearest wall available to sort out the surface thoughts running rampant about her mind. All of her thoughts were in consensus that going into the bar was a rather stupid idea. And, Shepard was inclined to agree with them.

However… booze.

She laughed quietly to herself for a moment. '_One drink_,' she assured herself tiredly, '_one drink and then I am going to bed.'_

A gentle push and she was off the wall and marching down the six steps into the Technicolor lights. She could see the platforms were Asari dancers bent and twirled in unbelievable ways. The music was grating to her ears, but she was not here to socialize, or to spend more than three minutes in this God-forsaken place. With a sturdy elbow into the Krogan blocking her path, Shepard strode confidently toward the bartender, a rather cute human female, and sat down heavily.

"What'll if be honey?"

Shepard fought the irritation she felt at being called 'honey' by anyone who wasn't in a relationship with her.

"The strongest thing you've got," she stated patiently, "that is suitable for human consumption," she added as an afterthought.

The bartender laughed heartily, and a dimple appeared on her right cheek. "You've been here before."

"Maybe," Shepard responded with a coy grin.

"Coming right up," the woman said before sashaying off.

Shepard shook her head in mild amusement, and gave a quick glance around for those 'mercs' she was scouting out. She was scouting, because the commander of the _Normandy SR2_ was most certainly not trying to take the edge off of her unusual situation through alcohol. No, Sir.

"Hey," the low timber came from her left, "are you dancing later?"

She twisted her lips into a snarl and turned to give the interloper a piece of her mind. White markings glared at her in red light, washing them in an iridescent ruby glow. The three lines on his chin, she didn't know what the Turians called it, stood out proudly. She swallowed a bitter sigh of aggravation.

"General Septimus?" Her tone betrayed her surprise, and also her mild dismay. Shepard had thought upon her first visit to the Citadel that she had taken care of the lovelorn turian.

The unpainted parts of his face appeared like a mask unto themselves when placed next to the seemingly ruby-red markings. Shepard noticed his suit was different from their last meeting, but it had been close to three years since she had seen him. He looked exactly the same, except that his mandibles were stretched wide in the pseudo-grin that only Turians could accomplish.

"Spectre Shepard," he acknowledged with a slight head bow in her direction.

She looked around the room once more before staring directly back at him. "I assume you are kidding about the dance."

He gave a half-hearted shrug at her sarcasm.

"Mostly," he replied in that species characteristic voice.

Shepard laughed softly; it went unheard over the music as it blared in the darkened area. She gave the General a polite nod toward the stool next to her. He took it graciously and mercifully without comment.

"Last I heard," he started after the bartender had returned with Shepard's drink, 'you were dead."

"Yeah," she stated while taking a large sip of her beverage, "I get that a lot."

"I also heard that you are still running around trying to save the galaxy,"

"You hear quite a few things, General, "she quipped snidely, "And last I heard, you were still getting worked up over a woman."

His mandibles pulled back further into a full blown smile. The look infuriated her for no apparent reason. It was supposed to have been a dip into his pride, but he shrugged it off casually.

"You sound just like your Turian companion," he commented dryly.

Shepard winced before she could stop the movement. Her expression became guarded in an instant. She shifted her body slightly away from the General. Garrus still was a sore subject as of yet. The burn of her drink, as it traced a path down her throat distracted her somewhat.

"Is that so?" She asked, not caring for his answer.

"Ah," he muttered beside her, "we come to the root of the problem."

She narrowed her eyes at him in anger. She could be polite when warranted, but he was crossing into hostile territory with his commentary. Shepard's first inclination was to lash out at him and tell him he wouldn't understand. Then, her blazing indignation died and she realized he did understand. After all that business with the Consort, he understood better than anyone. He understood the bittersweet poison that was unrequited love.

However, that did not make it any easier to discuss.

Her gaze fell on an Asari dancer, who bent and swirled with the beat. One hand was cusped around a shining metal pole, and the other was tracing a path up her blue skin sensually. Shepard watched without seeing as she thought over the General's quick ability to pick up on her woes.

"I have to say," Septimus continued conversationally, " you truly do know how to make an entrance."

Shepard turned to him in confusion, her posture uncomfortably straight. "I don't know what you mean."

The turian blinked at her in astonishment and suspicion. His white-streaked mandibles slackened in surprise.

"Truly?"

"Yes," she affirmed quickly, "I really have no idea what you are talking about."

"You're scented," the General commented as if it explained everything which only left Shepard more confused.

"I'm sorry, I still don't understand. Are you saying I smell?"

An amused rumbled emanated from his chest, and Septimus flagged down the bartender. Shepard squirmed impatiently as he ordered a strong Turian beverage. She was ready to demand what he meant when he turned to her with a completely serious face.

"Forgive me," he started quietly and she strained to hear him, "I forget people outside of my species do not know everything about Turian culture."

Shepard gave an indulgent nod. "The extranet is not the best source. I'm sure it doesn't have everything, and even if it did, I wouldn't know which parts to believe."

"A wise view, Shepard," he stated, then turned, thanked the bartender for his drink and slipped her his credit chit.

"So what does 'scented' mean?" Her tone was laced with curiosity and a touch of concern. It had been her experience with other species that anything action within a culture with a name was bad news.

His avian eyes looked her up and down for a moment before resting back on her face. "The simplest way to explain it, would be to liken it to the human ritual of engagement. A quaint little word, I grant you, but the closest in terms of the turian practice."

Shepard felt the blood leave her face in one fell swoop. Her heart tripled its' beat at the General's announcement. She felt her mouth slacken in shock.

"I believe you might have your terms confused General," she hoarsely corrected, "do you mean 'scenting' is similar to 'dating'?"

"No," he responded bluntly, "it is similar to engagement. That is what humans do right before they enter into a life-binding ceremony, correct?"

Shepard could only nod dumbly in answer to his query.

"Dating would be too casual a term anyway. Our version of 'dating' comes from stress release in the form of copulation," he stated matter-of-factly, "when a turian scents someone it is to declare the intended mate off limits. It is a warning to other turians that one crating the olfactory mark is willing to fight to the death, potentially. It has changed in recent decades. Usually a confrontation over the intended results in broken limbs not lost lives."

"What else could it mean?" Shepard stared at the remaining contents of her drink in horror and fascination.

"What else? Nothing," Septimus tossed back his drink and waved for another. "Now, being scented is uncommon, but not unheard of. It makes you seem incredibly attractive to other turian males," he twitched his mandibles twice an she could have sworn he was laughing at her.

"But, what if one of the males claimed to not feel attraction toward the intended?" She asked, hoping to solve part of the puzzle she could not figure out.

Septimus regarded her somberly. His eyes searched her face quietly, and he set down his drink while it was partway to his mouth. "Shepard," he started seriously, "you see that turain over there?"

She followed his gaze to a young male, with what she thought were orange markings, and an Asari dancer as they cuddled indecently on a nearby couch.

"Yes, I see them."

Septimus cleared his throat awkwardly, and his mandibles flattened against his features. "In my culture, one heavily bound by rules and tradition, it is considered acceptable to pursue an Asari as a mate. Turians have known them for many generations, and our views toward them have adapted to be favorable. "

"Does the same go for Quarians?" Her voice cracked slightly on the species, and she noticed Septimus's inquiring look.

"Yes," he continued slowly, "the same can be said about Quarians, and even the Drell."

Shepard hung her head for a moment in pained silence. She gripped the almost empty glass tightly before slamming back the contents.

"I see."

"Shepard," Septimus's gaze was imploring, "It has only been a few decades since the Relay incident and some that are still mired in the black and white still see humans as brash or even dangerous creatures. For the younger males, such as your turian companion, the voices of our elders ring the loudest in our ears. Given the timeline, one if not both of your markers most likely had a sire in the incident."

"Yes," it was merely a whisper, but it was all she could say without shaming herself in front of the General.

"Ah, that does make it a conundrum," he stated seriously, "the familial pressure, and social censure would be overwhelming... however, it does not mean all is lost Shepard. We, turians, have found suitable mates in the Asari, the Quarians, and even the Drell, so why not the Humans?"

A frail smile tugged at her lips, and Septimus clinked his glass to hers on the countertop, it bumped her fingers as she gripped the glass.

"It will take time, and a few brave couples, as it did for all the rest. But… give it time Shepard." The General stated quietly.

"Thank you," Shepard whispered, unable to meet his eyes, "you didn't have to tell me all of this, but I thank you for it."

Septimus's mock-red markings shone under the florescent light brightly and they watched young Turian male with his dancer for a moment.

"Think nothing of it," Septimus replied after a few silent moments, "consider it repaying you for your kindness for helping me those years ago."

"Did she ever-?"

"No."

"I'm sorry."

"You had nothing to do with it, except to help stop me from making more of a fool of myself," he corrected breezily.

"Still, I know how it stings," Shepard admitted brokenly.

His eyes regarded her once more, with his mandibles opened in a sad smile. "Yes, it does."

They sat together under the red light, being jarred by the pulsing base and said nothing. One drink became three, and still the companionable silence reigned between them as they battled emotional demons. Shepard recalled her vow to get some rest, and she stood to exit. A large, clawed hand settled on her forearm. Shepard gazed at General Septimus expectantly.

"If this whole thing with your intendeds… if neither of them are suitable or if it doesn't work out," Septimus said sincerely, "I would be honored to call you mate."

Shepard stared at him in bemusement. She could have laughed, or raged at him for ruining the quiet peace she had found, but she could not. He was offering to care for her and perhaps, even love her if Chellick or Garrus abandoned her. Shepard knew he meant it. This proud and now humbled General simply wanted to offer himself as a steadfast mate, in the hopes that one day they could make each other whole.

A woman just couldn't get uppity about that.

She placed her free hand over his with an understanding smile.

"I'll hold you to that General," she said genuinely and then she was out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

_**O.O I am in awe of my reviewers! Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know what you think. I truly do appreciate it!**_

_**And yes, a Tomato is a fruit. Look it up XD**_

_**Rated M, I own nothing all legal rites belong to BioWare (but if you are going to use a similar story line to mine **_**Please** _**at least give me credit), and here we go!**_

OoOoOo

The lonely pilgrimage back to the ship gave Shepard time to contemplate the unusual encounter with General Septimus. Her body ached from too much or too little alcohol, depending on a person's view. Her eyes had started to blur the surrounding area of her vision from exhaustion and emotional stress. All in all, it was eerily similar to just having successfully completed a mission. Shepard gingerly rubbed a temple in a vain attempt to ease the pulsing that thrummed erratically behind her scalp.

It had been quite the night, to say the very least.

And while she could logically see the progression, and her reactions in the given situations; Shepard still had that lingering sense of doubt that crept in like the morning fog. What could she have done differently? How could she have minimized damage to her tumultuous relationship with Garrus? And, how in all the galaxy was she going to speak to Tali after all of this had occurred? Her last internal question, was the one she dreaded answering the most.

Also, there was the disturbing matter of both Garrus and Chellick more or less declaring an intent to marry her. Shepard was not sure if 'marry' was their term or if it fell under the lines of some sort of exclusive mating. She could feel the mini-freak out building in her thoughts. And, there would be one. She hardly knew Chellick! However, there had been more scandalous human marriages in half the time. Technically, she had known of him for three years. Even if she had been dead for about two of them. As for Garrus, she could not make heads of tails of his interest. However, the words of Septimus still rung in her ears, and they filled her with a desperate sort of hope coupled with an intense yearning. This situation was starting to border on unbelievable. Then again, no one had believed about the Reapers either.

Well, there was another pleasant thought…

However, she had been taught by her training that one had to live with one's choices. Shepard granted that this saying held true both in and out of battle. While a large weight did indeed rest on her shoulders, she dealt with it by making one choice at a time. They were not always easy decisions, but she made them and would continue to make them. Leaving a member of her squad to die on Virmire had been _difficult_, but it was her decision and she had made it. Every time she was called to choose, she had carefully weighed her options in what little time she was given, but she had always made the call. In the end, regardless of outcome, that was her duty. Just as running this ship in a professional manner was her duty.

Some nights Shepard had trouble sleeping. Some nights she slept encased in warm blankets and the subtle whispers of dreams. Shepard was a marine, she was a Spectre, and she was fighting a nearly impossible battle against an advanced race of sentient machines. But, she was first and foremost… human. Whatever pedestal others placed her on was not her concern. Being always faithful to her obligations and her crew was. In her mind, humbly, that was all that mattered. Each day she lived again was truly a gift and Shepard made no claims on her new life, other than to not pass on this one chance, this simple time of uncertainty, with missing out on that _something _with Garrus as her greatest regret.

She gave a humorless chuckled to the abandoned area of the docking bay. Shepard straightened and could feel several of her vertebrae pop with the movement. She mentally prepared herself as she started toward the decontamination room. She was about to enter back onto the vessel where she was the commanding officer. Any show of weakness, or sadness needed to be brushed off like an old winter coat. Languidly she pressed the decontaminate initiation code.

When EDI granted her access aboard the vessel once more, Shepard spared a quick smile to Joker, who was busy smashing the mute button repeatedly. She was pleased to see him getting along with the AI… at a better rate than he used to at least. She shook her head in bemusement at the pilot's actions before heading, on unsteady legs toward the elevator. If she were exceedingly lucky, she would make it past Yeoman Chambers without incident.

"Commander," Shepard winced as the voice of Kelly rang out six feet from her goal, "you have new messages at your terminal. Also, something seems to be wrong with Garrus. I think you might need to speak to him."

Shepard glowered involuntarily. Her attractive features contorted in distaste. Speaking with Garrus right now was inadvisable. Her hazel eyes bore into the petite woman in front of her with a vengeance only seen when she had been double-crossed in the line of duty. The icy flames that danced behind her gaze caused the other woman to back up minutely.

"Thank you, Yeoman" she responded through gritted teeth, "was there anything else that needed my attention?"

"N-no, Commander."

"Excellent, I am going to retire for the evening," Shepard spared a glance at the terminal, "or the morning as the case may be."

"Pleasant dreams Commander," the other woman fidgeted under the intense gaze, " if you ever need to talk…"

"I know where to find you."

Shepard watched Kelly nod, suddenly deflated and felt a pang of guilt swell in her stomach. She gave a soft exhalation through her nose to gather her wits about her. Shepard strode toward the elevator and as her hand reached for the panel, she turned back to Chambers.

"Yeoman Chambers?"

"Yes, Commander?" Her voice was nervous energy and sympathetic understanding.

"Thanks for your offer. I might take you up on it sometime."

Shepard winced at the blinding smile that was directed at her. She turned once more to her goal and jammed the panel quickly. Her mind wandered to a good, hot shower. Possibly with extra body wash, just to get the 'scent' of two Turians off of her. '_When put like that, it sounds incredibly dirty,'_ she mused gently. Her gaze fell downward and she could not stop the picture from forming in her thoughts of an angular face with azure markings. The image seemed to vivid in her mind, that she could have recalled the exact shade of his eyes with an almost practiced ease.

"Elevator will not hold long. Suggest entering or waiting."

Shepard snapped her gaze to see Mordin staring at her with undisguised interest. The feeling of surprise coursed down her veins like a bath of ice water. She could hear Yeoman Chambers shift at her terminal. Shepard narrowed her eyes in irritation that, being a psychologist, Kelly might read far too much into this. Shepard morphed the glare into a strained smile.

"Mordin," she started casually, "did not see you there."

"Am aware. Walked passed you," he informed her readily.

"Hm," she responded non-committedly, "I'm going up."

"Doesn't matter, will take the same amount of time for both of us to reach destinations regardless."

"Right," she said kindly.

'_Damn it,' _she thought harshly_, 'this is the last thing I need right now.'_

She stepped inside the enclosed space, and pressed the button for the floor her cabin was located on. She tapped her foot half-nervous, half-impatient. Mordin's eyes swiveled from the panel to Shepard with interest. She wondered vaguely how many calculations were going on in that brain of his. She nearly laughed at what he must be thinking, when he took an exaggerated inhalation. Shepard froze, and her gaze locked onto his as he closed his eyes for a moment.

She held her breath.

"Intriguing. Are those Turian mating pheromones? Multiple? Yes. Multiple. Uncommon to see on a human female," Mordin's stilting tones rolled over Shepard like hot coals, "Curious how this occurred, hypothesis uncertain. Implications staggering at best; scientifically, of course. Perhaps skin color attractive to Turians?"

"Mordin," Shepard stated as calmly as possible given the horrifyingly embarrassing circumstances, "I don't think this is something you really have to speculate about."

"On the contrary," he replied pleasantly, "speculation highly relevant to pursuit of cross-species understanding."

Shepard took a deep breath. There were times that tried her patience beyond the bounds of human patience. This appeared to be one of them. She plastered a false grin on her face in an attempt to brave out the storm of ideas no doubt swirling in his red head.

"That's great," she replied briskly, "but all I really want to do is go take a shower."

"I see. Trying to remove scent? Will not work."

She felt her left eye start to twitch. "Pardon me?"

"Turian pheromones oil based. Application of Dihydrogen Monoxide will produce no results," he informed her cheerily.

Shepard's mouth opened in horrified shock at his words. Showering, in lay-man's terms, would not remove her status as being 'scented'. Part of her had remained calm despite the circumstances of the past few hours because she had been operating under the faulty assumption, that she could just wash it off. Shepard wanted to howl at the unfairness of alien cultural quirks, and curse their oil-producing glands back to the terran Stone Age. She blinked her hazel eyes at him in a moment of pure incomprehension.

"So, what? I have to apply tomato juice or something?"

Her thoughts turned back to the earthen mammal known as a skunk, which also had oil based stench. It was often removed acceptably by the highly acidic fruit known as a tomato. Granted, Shepard had only ever read about them during her adolescent years, but it had been a common lo-tech method for removal. Surely, this must be similar to that?

The Salarian gave her a blank look and Shepard felt her stomach clench unpleasantly. She hastily explained the significance of her question to the relevance of the conversation. Mordin listened with acute interest, a very common trait among Salarians, and took a moment to ponder her words.

"Negative. Acidity and base non-reactive with turian mating oil," Mordin stated with his dark eyes shining a tad too brightly.

Shepard felt exceedingly dirty that he had referred to it as 'mating oil'. '_Was that even really scientific_?' She wondered idly. This night had gone from bad, to alright, to bad, back to alright, and now it was broaching on 'nightmarish'. She felt her desperation mounting.

"How do I get rid of it then?"

"Human olfactory senses too weak to detect. Will not present a problem around others humans," he nodded in satisfaction.

"That is not what I asked," she growled in irritation, "how do I get rid of it?"

The Salarian inclined his head to the right before string at her intently. "Only known solution," he said a modicum slower than his normal rate, "is to complete mating cycle. Makes sense. Turians known for their fierceness over mates. You are a large commodity. Congratulations."

"I'm sorry," Shepard stated hollowly, "what was that?"

"Complete mating cycle. Choose one male. Then copulate."

Shepard held up her left pointer finger. Her face was frozen as well as the breath in her chest. "I'm sorry, one more time?"

"Complete mating cycle. Choose one male. Then copulate," he repeated readily, "advise caution during act. Warn of chaffing. Turians based on dextro-amino acids. Could provoke reactions-"

Shepard put up both her hands up in defense. She had never delved this far into interspecies intercourse. It had mostly been diagrams and helpful tips. She felt the overwhelming need to do more research, and possibly sleep with her cabin light on.

"Thank you, Mordin!"

He blinked at her before quieting instantly. Once the immediate threat of his too involved speech was over, she felt the overwhelming need to flee. She needed time to think. Lots of time. Lots and lots of time. Where were the Collectors again?

Still, a part of her sparked with desire at the thought of 'completing the cycle' with Garrus. She felt a leaden weight of disappointment drop into her heart. Garrus was not entirely sure what was between them. Shepard knew how she felt, but she could still recall what he had said. How was she to push for something he didn't want? Not, that it was clear what he _did_ want. Septimus had stated that 'scenting' was never done in jest. So there must be some part of Garrus that wanted her.

That thought made her desire spike higher.

"Of course," Mordin's sudden statement jarred Shepard from her more pleasant thoughts, "hormones. Solution is agreeable."

A palatable silence settled over the pair in the elevator.

"Mordin?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

"I am going to exit the elevator now. I would suggest you forget all about this topic," her tone was even but strained.

"Must ask why-,"

"I refuse to be studied."

"Could prove beneficial to-"

"NO!" She thundered out slightly hysterical. "Absolutely not, I had better not hear so much as one word about this, or so help me…"

"Ah! Implication of bodily harm. Not to worry, Salarians stronger than we look."

"I have warp ammo."

"Hm. Immediate evasion potentially needed."

"Damn straight."

Shepard shakily poured herself out of the elevator and toward her lone cabin. With a hasty stumble she was through the door and staring vacantly at her fish. They swam contentedly in the crystal blue water, and for a precious second, Shepard envied them. She leaned against her door with a heavy sigh. The weariness returned ten-fold and she slid to the floor, boneless.

"Chaffing?" She questioned the room, which did not dignify her query with an answer.

A blank look stole over her features as she contemplated that word again.

"Chaffing," she stated without inflection.

Then slowly, like the sunrise, a large grin over took her features.

"Chaffing," she purred out with a nod.

If she was correct, and Shepard tried to be, anything to do with Turians was about to get very interesting. However, right now even if it didn't get rid of her new 'perfume', she needed a shower. Then she needed sleep. In a few hours she would gather up Tali and Garrus then report to Detective Chellick.

She still had no idea what Chellick hoped to gain out of declaring a want to mate with her. Her thoughts were too chaotic when she transposed the same question with Garrus. Shepard wearily stripped out of her clothes and headed toward the shower, sparing a glance at her desk terminal.

Six hours to go.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hello again! Thank you for all your lovely reviews!**_

_**And to answer one of them… To Kuro Rei, in order: Yes, I did mean bemusement (she just doesn't understand everything), I made Mordin say the chemical name for water because it was to allude to him rambling in the unusual situation (and it made me laugh so it stayed XD), yes I knew tomato juice doesn't actually work but Shepard had only heard about it through third person accounts and some people swear up and down that tomato juice or (believe it or not) douches work (I decline to ever ask about the second one), and your idea for a Septimus ending is intriguing. I will have to put some thought into that. I'm not picking on you, I just earnestly wanted to answer your notes, but you are anonymous so I did what I could. Thanks again for your review! =)**_

_**Rated M, I own nothing (curse you BioWare, only not really because I want ME3), please enjoy!**_

OoOoOo

The first shrill beep caused Shepard to snap her eyes open in annoyance. She glared balefully at the offending device as the second high-pitched wail descended over her cabin. One slender arm reached out hazily from underneath her covers. With reflexes dimmed by sleep, she slapped her hand down over the device. However, she used a tad too much force and the clock danced off the table in a mock-maneuver of self-preservation. It seemed the clock miscalculated, however, for it banged down on the floor with a satisfying 'crunch'. Shepard wiggled toward the edge of the bed to blink owlishly at the scattered remnants of her alarm on the floor.

IF this was an omen, the day was already looking infamous.

With a flop, Shepard groaned at the too soon return to consciousness. She stretched, wiggling her toes as she yawned in unison. The small noises of her contentment filled the enclosed space, before she hauled herself out of bed. She shivered as her bare feet touched the cold metal floor. She placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled forward slightly to alleviate some tension that had accumulated during the night. Afterward, she ran a hand through her disheveled hair with another small yawn. Her movements were lethargic as she ambled toward her clothing. With a huff, she selected the most suitable outfit for going into an 'undercover' merc operation.

Consideration gave her pause. She would need to see exactly what Chellick needed her for. That would determine what armor, if any, she would have to bring. It would also play a heavy part in her weapon selection, and how she would dictate roles to Garrus and Tali. She made a mental note to strategize with them once they had all been debriefed. However, she conceded, that knowing ahead of time would save wasted time and energy.

When she had finished dressing, she sent off a quick inquiry to Chellick's office at C-Sec. Shepard resolved to go about her morning routine, and hoped to hear back from him prior to their designated appointment time. She sat on her bed to tie her boots with a soft sigh. '_Another day, another dollar,_' she thought tiredly. Once completed, Shepard strode into her bathroom to see to her personal hygiene. She stole a quick look to her bathroom door to make sure it was locked securely. Her hazel eyes traveled upward, and even though she was fairly certain no one had placed cameras in her bathroom, it never hurt to exercise extra caution. Satisfied that she was not being observed, Shepard craned her nose toward her shoulder and took a delicate sniff. She still couldn't smell anything. She took a few strands of her hair and tried to smell those too. With the exception of her shampoo, which was standard cleansing solution, she smelled nothing.

How could so many species pick up on pheromones?

She shrugged with a puzzled expression and continued on with taking care of her personal hygiene. Shepard exited her private bathroom and headed toward the elevator. She needed to grab some food, and maybe a quick cup of coffee. She thanked her lucky starts she had already gotten better provisions for the ship. That meant higher quality swill, than the normal military coffee swill. '_Oh joy of joys_,' she thought sardonically.

The ride was shorter than it had seemed being trapped previously with Mordin. She had been plagued with unusual dreams last night of 'completing the mating cycle', or whatever he had called it. She watched the elevator door open quietly, and moved toward the mess hall. She was greeted by the quiet footsteps of Thane as he fell into step beside her. She would never admit that she still wondered how he popped out of nowhere without warning.

She flashed him a bright smile, brighter than she felt at any rate. "Morning, Thane."

"Greetings, Siha," he rumbled quietly and she gave him a sideways glance.

She nodded her acknowledgement of his greeting, and she waited with slight paranoia for him to say something about her 'scent'. Yet, she was disappointed when they made it to the dining area without further comment or conversation. Granted, it was not a very long walk by any stretch of the imagination, but she found herself slightly confused by his lack of speech. Shepard parted from him and headed straight toward the still-steaming pot of coffee. Even after thousands of years with the invigorating bean, humans always adored coffee. Or at least, those out risking their lives at all hours of the day and night, like Shepard, for example.

She took a moment to observe the number of people eating at the tables, and was surprised to find Grunt, Jack, and Tali among the rest of the crew. Tali waved to her, and Shepard gave a slight smile in return. All the emotions she had attempted to sort through last night, roared to the surface. She became aware that the burning inside her chest did not distract from the burning in her hand. Her hazel eyes traveled downward, and she realized she had spilled hot coffee on her hand. The cup had begun to over flow.

With a wince, and a sigh of exasperation at her own clumsiness, Shepard grabbed a nearby cleaning rag to wipe up the spill. She turned and gave Tali a wide grin. The quarian simply shook her head in return. Shepard had to question how much Tali knew exactly, but it was not her place to ask or to say if the other female knew nothing. Part of her wanted to ask, simply ask, what was so different between them. What was it about a quarian that was more acceptable than a human?

But, Shepard already knew the answer, thanks to the wise words of Septimus. It had not even been a proper generation between now and the First Contact War. Old grudges, like habits, did not die easily. And, she could remember snippets of conversations with Garrus about his father. If memory served, his father was the poster boy for Turian pride. Suddenly she didn't feel very hungry.

Shepard grabbed her coffee and walked gingerly toward Tali, lest she spill more of the hot liquid. No matter what she was feeling, she was Tali's _friend_ and it would be unfair to punish her for something that wasn't her fault. It was a strange situation, but no one's fault. Shepard set the steaming cup down, and pulled out a chair. She sat gracefully down, and attempted to give a smile of good humor toward her Quarian companion.

"Shepard," Tali asked conspiratorially, "are you alright?"

Hazel eyes blinked in surprise. "Yes, of course, why?"

Tali's helmet dipped and Shepard could almost swear she was blushing, but the mask made it impossible to tell. "You're smiling _a lot."_

She froze for a moment, her smile slipping from her face effortlessly. Shepard had been so focused on treating Tali the same, that she had unfortunately, been trying too hard to seem happy. However, it would be inadvisable for Shepard to tell her the truth, and her pride would never allow it. How could she admit jealously for a person that had only ever been a friend to her? The thought was inconceivable and incredibly hard to swallow. Shepard took a sip of her coffee, both stalling and fining solace in the burring pain that resided in her mouth at the nearly boiling liquid.

"Am I?" She asked in an attempt to divert excess attention.

"Shepard," Tali leaned forward and gazed at her; That is what Shepard guessed at any rate, "you are… what do humans call it? Illuminating?"

"Glowing," she corrected with a slight laugh, "The expression is 'You are glowing'."

"She smells like Turian," Grunt grumbled from her left.

Shepard stared at him as if he had only two seconds to live. A nervous glance was spared for Tali, who had suddenly stopped moving. Shepard could feel all the eyes of her crewmembers, both human and alien, swivel in her direction. She swallowed uncomfortably as Jack gave her a vicious grin, all teeth and flashing eyes. Her coffee had lost its entire flavor under their blatant stares. Shepard schooled her features into an impassive mask. She had to keep the respect of her crew and refused to show any form of weakness in front of them. With hurt pride oozing from every pore, she snapped her gaze to Grunt's fiercely.

"I am aware," she stated in a perfectly professional tone.

She watched Grunt give her a confused glance. She owed him no explanations. She owned none of them explanations. She watched Tali fidget with her food, more of a nutrient paste because of her special diet, but the fidgeting was clear.

"Does Garrus know?"

Shepard looked at Tali with true surprise on her features. Her suspicions had been confirmed that Tali did not know the full extent of the situation. Hell, Shepard didn't know the whole story, but Tali was even more behind in the news than herself. A small splash of rage colored her thoughts. Tali had no right to ask, and it was insulting for her to even believe for an instant that she was somehow 'cheating' on Garrus. Though it had been unsaid, it was heavily implied, and it provoked Shepard to anger. She was the one that had poured out her heart, only to have it shoved back in her face. Garrus did not want her… but he did according to Septimus. Shepard was not used to having to trust someone by their word alone. But, her hope that maybe there was something deeper than friendship burning in his blue eyes kept her from giving up entirely.

She opened her mouth to retort.

"Garrus knows," the rumbling timber of his voice washed over Shepard causing her to shiver unconsciously.

Shepard slowly turned her attention to him. The room faded away slightly, and for a single instant all she saw was that heartbreakingly familiar face. She stole another sip of coffee, hoping to calm her frazzled nerves. She watched, her face betraying nothing, as he walked casually toward her. His mandibles twitched in nervous energy. When he reached her table, it seemed that he wanted to sit next to her as his hand reached out reflexively for the chair closest to hers. However, he appeared to think better of it, and pulled out a chair directly next to Tali's.

Shepard said nothing, though inside she was hurting. She forced the smile of greeting into her eyes. Garrus stared back at her with his azure markings standing prominent under the florescent light. She turned her gaze toward Thane, who stared back with infinitely black eyes. Shepard drained the last of her coffee in a few long gulps. It had not escaped her notice that everyone had averted their eyes from the three of them. She knew her crew was a tad too intelligent for her liking. It was useful against the Collectors, but hell on keeping a secret.

"Well," Shepard began in a steady tone, "you two ready to go?"

Garrus drew her attention once more with his mandibles closing in a turian-frown. His blue eyes narrowed on her face, and Shepard conscientiously tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Her gaze challenged his however, as she refused to be cowed by him. Tali glanced between the pair, with her mask glinting as she turned, Shepard could not tear her eyes from Garrus. She could tell he was unhappy, she could see it in every line of his features. Yet, there was nothing she could do about it. She had taken the first step. Shepard had laid the cards on the table, and now it was Garrus's turn to do the same, or leave the game.

Shepard had no idea what he wanted, because he would not tell her. She was angry, and hurt that he was willing to 'claim' her more or less according to his people, but he would not say the words. Garrus had not voiced his desires, and Shepard was simply too exhausted to try and drag them out of him. And, perhaps, if Septimus was correct, all she needed to do was give him some time. Shepard could be patient. She would have to be. All her other options were gone now.

She would never force him into any situation he didn't want. But, she wouldn't let this lay her low, and she would not wait for forever. She might always love him. It was something she already knew and welcomed with open arms. Love, unrequited or not, was still a feeling that told her she really wasn't dead. Shepard loved Garrus and they both knew it. But, she _needed_ him to say the same. Or to at least say that there was _something_ between them that was born from mutual attraction. She wouldn't settle for less than that.

Tali looked up from her paste and nodded quickly. "Of course Shepard, I'm always ready," she scoffed lightly.

Shepard's lips quirked into a grin at Tali's words. Her hazel eyes locked onto Garrus's once more. "And you? Are you ready?"

Garrus's mandibles flared in surprise, or annoyance, and he nodded with a low rumbled emanating from his chest. "Whenever you are Shepard," he stated and Shepard felt her knees weaken at sudden heat infusing his words.

Her mouth went dry as his eyes bored into hers, and she could hear the low rumbled growl coming from his chest. He leaned forward slightly onto the table and his nearness caused her desire to spike painfully. His taloned hands rested on the table, a silent entreaty to touch her. Or at least, in her imagination, that it what it was. Her fingers wrapped tighter around her empty coffee cup and Shepard leaned in toward him, almost against her will.

She moistened her lips quickly, and watched his mandibles widen slightly to show off his razor sharp teeth. The sight only encouraged her wild imagination.

"How many times do I have to tell you Garrus? I'm always waiting on you," it had been in jest, but the double meaning to her words was clear to him as his avian eyes dilated.

Shepard felt a rush of primal power flood her senses. She was relieved and aroused that she _could_ affect him without the presence of Chellick to urge him on. She lowered her lashes for a moment, and stared at the few drops of brown liquid now drying in her cup. As she had said the words, she realized their validity. She was always waiting on Garrus. However, she was a marine and faithful to a fault. So with this warning given, she was willing to wait for a little while longer.

Besides, if it all went up in flames, there was always Septimus. Shepard smiled at the warm remembrance of his kind words and the simple companionship they had found in Chora's Den. She didn't think he ever left at their last encounter, but she knew better than to believe it.

Shepard slid one hand forward, leaving it just inches from Garrus's own. She had never been ashamed to admit her feelings for him. She had never worried about what a relationship between them might do for her reputation, but she didn't care. However, that did not mean she was not considerate for what he felt. If being with her would, in fact, be too problematic, then she would bow out gracefully. If there was one thing Shepard knew, it was grace under fire.

His mandibles had flared once more at the nearness of their appendages, and Shepard gave him a soft but reassuring smile. They would have words about all of this, she would dam well make sure they would. Shepard would not be bullied by him, but she would also not push him away. This was entirely new territory… for both of them. And, in the end she might not be who he wanted. If, or when, that came to pass she would encourage him with whoever he wanted. Even, if it killed her she would play the part of the devoted friend. Because, in the end, it was better to be his friend than nothing at all. '_Even if I am so confused and furious with you I can't stand it. It is better to be in your life than without you in mine,'_ she thought sagely.

Tali cleared her throat awkwardly, destroying the tender moment between them.

"Let's go catch some mercs," Shepard said quietly and excused herself from the table.

She could not shake the feeling of Garrus's eyes as she walked away.

OoOoOo

Shepard stared at the milling C-Sec officers in silent boredom. They had been waiting for their 8:00 am, in ship time, appointment for half an hour now. Garrus had been like a large turian fungus as he stuck to her better than any shadow could dare dream of. It was not that he was attached at her hip; it was that he refused to be more than 2 square inches from her presence. It had not escaped her notice that he continued to stare down any Turian male that came within a 30 foot radius of her person. Tali seemed as confused by this as Shepard.

Granted, she understood mostly why he was emitting Turian 'back-off' vibes. However, she sincerely doubted a random male was going to come up on the Citadel and accost her. The image was more amusing than terrifying, and that was how Shepard was staving off freaking out about the whole ordeal. She had seen some strange things in life, and that helped her cope on the scale of the absurd.

And, yet, the stares from the unknown Turain males was indeed climbing up that list. They ranged from the usual disbelief, to lust, and even disgust. Shepard really needed speak with Mordin on masking the pheromones because at this rate, she would be famous for more than just being the first Human Spectre. And that did not bode well for an undercover operation.

No one had said a word to her. Even the human C-Sec officers had steered clear of her in the wake of so many Turians giving her their nearly undivided attention. Tali had tried to distract her with chatter about the engines. However, Shepard was meant for combat, and while she was intelligent the latest schematics down to their basic parts did nothing to stimulate her brain. Her blank stare had been given a through work out today and would require rest in the near future.

She was drawn from her boredom by the sound of a door opening. She glanced up into the welcoming face of Chellick. His white markings still stood in stark contrast to the lightness of his scales.

In her opinion, he was still a handsome turian.

His mandibles flared open in a wide turian–smile and Shepard felt her own lips stretch in a mimicking gesture. She held out an armored hand. She had decided to proceed with caution, and it was a safe bet that at some point she was going to be shot at. Somehow, she just _knew_ it. Her armor thudded softly as he grasped her outstretched arm with his own armored hand. Shepard and Chellick shook hands quickly. If his hand lingered longer than strictly necessary, she pretended not to notice.

Garrus noticed, however, if his subtle shifting in her periphery was anything to go by. Shepard quickly withdrew her appendage to prevent any further altercations between the two males. Starting a brawl in the middle of C-Sec, regardless of culture views, would be bad form in Shepard's mind.

"Sorry about the delay," Chellick started easily, his timber washing over Shepard to remind her of the husky note to his voice when he was aroused.

She tried really hard not to think about it. However, humans were still given to random thoughts of attraction, as was only natural per her species. Shepard shifted minutely to ease her thoughts back to the task at hand.

"It happens to the best of us," she offered politely, even if she was still a tad annoyed. She had, after all sat through an entire lecture about her own engine just moments ago. If she could have bestowed that horror upon Chellick, without the Illusive Man blowing a gasket, she would have. Ten-fold, if possible.

"I assume you and your squad," he stared challengingly at Garrus, whose chest had begun to rumble again, "are ready to be debriefed?"

Shepard spared a quelling glance at the icy-blue eyes of her turian squad mate before nodding at Chellick. She could feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand, like they always did when someone had her in their sights. Shepard knew that this particular feeling of being watched stemmed from the object of her affections, and she tried not to squirm uncomfortably under the knowledge. This situation was going to be awkward enough already. After all, she had not forgotten that, technically, she was 'engaged' to them both.

It occurred to her to ask Septimus a few more questions, now that she was more in her right state of mind. Mostly…

Chellick ushered them inside his office, which was cluttered more than the last time Shepard had been here. Data pads were strewn about in an organized, but haphazard fashion. It looked like Chellick had pulled every scrap of data to do with their current job. Shepard felt a growing sense of unease. This looked far more complicated than she had originally thought, and she still had to help Garrus find Sidonis.

"It's all fairly straightforward," the pale turian had begun amicably; "you've all been given cover names and stories to spice it up a bit. Miss Vas Neema, you are a Quarian still on your pilgrimage… I'm sure you can play that part just fine."

Shepard tried to fight the feelings swirling in her stomach as he grinned at Tali. She scolded herself for feeling even a modicum of jealousy toward Tali. She reminded herself once more, that she was Tali's commanding officer and her friend. Tali trusted her, and Shepard refused to betray that trust with petty jealousy or unkind thoughts.

Chellick's face closed slightly, and he stared at a data pad, his gaze not even bothering to meet Garrus' . "Vakarian, you are a merc for hire. Your record is modest, but impressive," avian eyes narrowed slightly at the data, "I made sure of it. It's similar to that of some _renegade_ on Omega. I hear they were calling him _Archangel._"

Shepard felt her blood freeze in her veins. If it continued to pump, it was only thanks to Cerberus' tinkering. She kept her gaze forward on Chellick, and tried not to let her surprise reflect on her face. However, she was sure she had failed. The threat on Garrus hit too close to home. Shepard could tolerate some odd alien behaviors. She might even learn to live with constantly smelling like Turian 'mating oil'. However, no one… _no one_ threatened Garrus. Especially not in front of her.

"_Archangel_," the dignified fury that laced her words gave everyone in the room pause, "is dead, _Detective._ I'm surprised you have such faulty Intel." Her hazel eyes attempted to cut him to the quick. The florescent light, combined with her long history, painted her as a force to be reckoned with.

Chellick's mandibles flared wide in shock, before snapping shut with an audible 'click'. "Of course, thank you for telling me. I will notify my intelligence web."

"See that you do," her tone was frosty.

The rebuttal sunk in and Chellick nodded, his white markings seeming to glare out irritatingly to Shepard. Her fury was tough to leash in. However, she needed to tamp it down and get through this debriefing. She would not call him out in front of her subordinates. Shepard had never cared for that sort of humiliation, and she could not in good consciousness… subject Chellick to it either.

"Please continue," she prompted quietly.

"As for you Shepard," he gave her a slight grin, she declined to return it, "the scouts from last night believe that you and I are an 'item' and I intend to extort that fact. You and I will be working very closely, " his purr of satisfaction was ill-concealed and Shepard felt it was purposeful, "you'll be assisting me in a weapons black market sting."

Shepard nodded. She was not surprised, but extremely pleased, that she needed her armor. Really, she ought to just never take it off. Every time she got off the _Normandy_ someone was shooting at her. Willingly, to boot… idiots.

Chellick launched into an outline of what was expected of each member. He went over code words for compromised and secure situations. Shepard was impressed with his attention to detail as he left not one scenario uncovered. Chellick also went over a rough time outline with them, and she was relieved to see that it was not nearly as involved as she had feared. Her frazzled nerves soothed somewhat. She was not opposed, nor was she over eager, to spend a large amount of time posing as Chellick's… whatever she was. Girlfriend? Booty call? Business partner?

Irrespective of the circumstances, Shepard was comforted by knowing that her team was placed in far safer positions than her own. Which was counter-productive to self-preservation, but it was still true. She glanced at Garrus, to find him listening intently, but when her eyes fell upon him; his full attention swung to her. She couldn't say exactly what she saw in those expressive blue eyes, but whatever it had been was enough to make heat pool between her legs. She shifted once more and turned her gaze back to Chellick.

He had finished speaking, and they had no questions having been through something similar too many times to count. Shepard trusted Tali and Garrus to take care of themselves and each other. Though the latter part of that thought had her cringing internally, it also gave her a modicum of peace.

"Garrus, Tali," Shepard started calmly, "please wait for me outside. I have to speak with the Detective in private."

The pair exchanged a glance and Garrus started forward instantly. "Shepard I don't think that's a good idea. We've wasted enough of the Detective's _valuable_ time," he rumbled dangerously.

Shepard placed an arm on Garrus' shoulder steadily. Her face softened at his agitation and obvious concern. Things had not changed between them, but the signs of his care were there and she relished it silently. Her hazel eyes locked with his, and she gave a gently squeeze to his armor but she was uncertain if he could feel it.

"I'll be fine Garrus. It'll just take a moment," she reassured compellingly.

His mandibles twitched, and she could see the start of a denial in his eyes.

"That's an order Vakarian," she teased lightly, unwilling to embarrass him in front of Chellick or… Tali.

He nodded jerkily and exited out the office door with Tali hot on his heels. Shepard waited two heart beats for the door to close and lock. Then she rounded on Chellick.

"What the hell was that Chellick?" Her roar of outrage echoed between them like a concussive blast.

His avian eyes appraised her steadily. His mandibles opened and closed in quick succession. Agitation, if Shepard was reading him correctly.

"It's a turian thing," he hedged with an unsteady breath, "oh… and even assassinating mercs is still considered illegal."

"I don't care," she hissed vehemently, "it was uncalled for and unprofessional."

"It's my culture," he retorted, " and my job."

"And your _job_ to be an upstanding member of the law," she countered without losing a bit of heat, " but, you don't have jurisdiction in the Terminus systems."

"That's not the point, Shepard."

"Oh yeah? From where I am standing that is exactly the point," she snapped out in mounting frustration.

"No, it's not. The law has nothing to do with it," he denied readily, " well, at least in the beginning it did, now it is entirely different."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Explain why it is different to me. Tell me, the one that you decided to more or less claim without my knowledge. I've been dying to hear this one."

"It's not that simple Shepard," his words gave a pale echo of those Garrus had stated so passionately.

"I'm getting real tired of people telling me it 'isn't that simple'," her bitterness swelled the words to proportion with her anger.

"Shep-"

"If you can't explain it all, then just tell me one thing. Why did you 'scent' me?"

"Hm, I see you have been talking to someone," he commented with a turian grin evident, "I assume they told you all about it?"

Shepard weighed her words carefully. "I think he covered the basics. It's like a human engagement and that you are serious about me. You hardly know me Chellick, "she finished a little helplessly.

"That's true," he stated thoughtfully and his bright eyes stared into hers, "but, I know I want you Shepard. I know you are courageous, beautiful, and unlike anyone else I have ever met. I also know I have nothing to lose by trying for you."

"You're reputation," she started argumentatively.

Chellick waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Some people have a problem after the Relay incident. However, I have several people that are loyal to me. Even if I didn't," he continued meaningfully, " you are worth it Shepard."

"But being a mate is a serious thing, Chellick," she countered swiftly, "you don't know what I am up against. You don't know if I will survive… or if you will. For fuck's sake, you don't even know if we will get along!"

Her eyes were sad and apologetic. However, she had said her peace and would leave him to his work. Their business with the mercs needed to be seen to. Shepard nodded a brief farewell and walked toward the door.

"It's a chance I am willing to take," his tone slightly pleading as he called out after her, "is Vakarian?"

Shepard paused, mid-step, one foot out the door already. She turned only the side of her face toward him. The words were like poison between them. Chellick had hit upon the one subject she was very protective about and he had hit it hard. Her own doubts crept like a sand storm through her thoughts.

"That was a low blow, Chellick."

"Turians play to win, Shepard."

Without a word she strode out, and two familiar faces were waiting her. Shepard ducked her head to hide the blush of shame and worry that broke over her features. She couldn't focus on Garrus and love right now. Their task had been assigned, and she would do her duty.

Even if it killed her… again.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Alright, so after a few kind reviews, I have been informed that my Shepard had confused a few of you. In light of that, I have chosen to re-write the chapter to be more cohesive. Upon further inspection I do realize that the Shep/Garrus action was out of context. So it will take much longer to get to it, but it will make far more sense.**_

_**Thanks for your reviews and your input! It is always appreciated =D**_

_**Rated M, I own nothing.**_

OoOooo

Shepard could feel her hands quake inside her gloves, and all she really wanted to do was hit the nearest object to vent her anger at Chellick. How dare he? She tried to quell the rising indignation that his stinging retort had brought her. She knew that he had meant well, or as well as one could possibly mean when they were competing for a mate. However, the part of her that understood his undercurrent of jealousy sympathized and mourned with him. For as much as Shepard wanted to, she just could not see herself with him. Perhaps, if she had met him first, or if Chellick had made a more lasting impression, there might have been a _chance_ for something more between them.

She spared a quick look to Tali and Garrus, who gazed back at her in curiosity and borderlines hostility respectively. She motioned for Garrus to come closer.

"On it," he responded in confirmation to her unspoken request.

Shepard held up a hand to halt Tali from coming closer. She leaned in toward Garrus with concern evident in the planes of her face. Her anger melted away slightly at the sharp features of her turian companion. However, the indignation stayed with her tightly.

"Chellick should not be a problem anymore about _Archangel_," she reported lowly.

Garrus' mandibles tightened against his face in a large display of anger. "If it creates a problem, I can deal with it," he informed her commandingly.

Shepard was nonplussed at his show of bravado, even if she did admire it just a little. "You are still one of my people, Garrus. And no one threatens one of mine."

"Most people would find the lack of your live enemies intimidating. I find it rather… stylish," he informed her dryly. A small showed a long row of razor-sharp teeth.

Shepard felt her lips part in a grin. The uncertainty of situation between them was temporarily forgotten in the face of a common threat. She did not take threats against her people lightly. She slapped Garrus on the shoulder, and noted that his spine straightened accompanied by a smug look. A light feeling washed over her combined with nostalgia. This simple moment reminded her of so many before. They were her strength and her weakness, but she kept them all close.

Now however, it was time to get a back-up strategy going. They would play this by Chellick's plan first. But, Shepard never went anywhere without a second exit strategy… If you didn't count Illos. She waved a gloved hand to signal Tali back over. The quarian moved quickly, and her helmet shimmered under the florescent light. Shepard had to admit, with a touch of pride and sadness, that Tali was beautiful, even without seeing her face.

A bittersweet smile painted her lips, and she knew Garrus could see it. Her eyelids closed slightly in an attempt to brace herself against the emotional sting. It was over by the time Tali joined them. Shepard felt furious with herself for letting the mask slip, but better in a sense that she knew she could be an adult about the situation. However, no one said she had to like it. And, she wasn't going to. She adjusted her gun sights quickly and looked at her companions.

"Alright, we've all been briefed, but let's go over this one more time," she stated with authority but her voice was low in order to avoid being overheard.

"I'm Claudius, a merc for hire," Garrus warbled in his deep voice, though his expression stated what he thought of the cover story. And, what he thought of Chellick. Suffice to say, neither were complimentary.

Tali giggled softly, and Shepard had to smile at his reaction as well. Her shoulders shook in suppressed mirth. Clearly, if nothing else was in her favor, Chellick had a sense of humor. And, that thought was mildly pleasing. With his head tilted in a sulking manner, Shepard was reminded for a second of Septimus. She did smile then, for she knew they would be running into him at some point. This could be used to her advantage, and she doubted that Septimus would mind terribly. In fact, if she played her cards right, he could more than pay her back for her help with the Consort. Though his little pep talk had been exactly the boost she had needed.

"I'm Loe'Tarvish on pilgrimage but I have not been able to find enough work. So, I'm out of luck and willing to get my hands dirty to get off the Citadel," she shrugged at the believable, if not trite, story.

"Right," Shepard continued, "And, I'm Alice Gunn. Kasumi removed the 'small but talented group of mercs' from my name." She flashed a wry look at both of them, "Now, I'm just a ditzy human who has at thing for Chellick."

Garrus stilled slightly as Tali nodded. Shepard groaned internally over her choice of words, but she was not an eloquent speaker or a practiced politician so she could not sing and dance to everyone's satisfaction.

"Keep an eye out," Shepard continued on without missing a beat, "I don't think this is just another black market sting."

"You don't trust Chellick?" Tali's question caused Garrus to stare at her sharply. His blue visor winked at Shepard underneath the florescent light.

"I didn't say that," she rebuked with more heat than she had intended, "I just don't think he knows what he is getting into. We aren't going to play this by ear. Follow what Chellick wants us to do. Civilian casualties must be avoided at all costs. Garrus pack some extra heat sinks, and Tali, I want you to make sure that your combat drone is up to par. I have the feeling we are going to need it."

"You've got it Shepard," the quarian responded congenially.

Shepard nodded once. "Good. I want you to be safe on this one. I may be a reinstated Spectre, but you two aren't. This could get ugly quickly. Joker," she pressed a hand to her communication device, "get EDI to do a thorough check on recent merc activity in the Citadel. I want to know how bad the situation is. I want to know who is running the show, and who is next in line to take over. Also, have her check for how deep this black market can be traced."

"Aye, Commander," the pilot responded promptly.

Shepard stared at Garrus for a moment, her head tilted in contemplation.

"And Joker?"

"Yes Commander?"

"Have EDI locate General Septimus," her lips curved into a secretive smile and her tone was vivacious.

OoOoOo

She stalked through the halls silently. Her clothing made only a slight rustling sound as she pursued her chosen path. Shepard gave a covert glance over her shoulder. Her hair had been pulled back into a different style in, what she considered, a vain attempt to alter her appearance just a smidgen. Her face was well known with the few mercenaries that had been present at Flux. However, it struck her as odd that irrespective of her fame, no one appeared to know who she was half the time. Granted, it had made more sense in the Terminus system, but here in Council space she wondered why fewer people recognized her.

Although, there was much to be said about being able to pass unseen amongst the crowd, and Shepard was grateful for the bit of privacy she was afforded in large groups of people. She worried about Chellick's thought into having her as part of his operation. She was precisely known for being subtle. In fact she was the epitome of a bad Spectre. She did not stay in obscurity and the shadows. More often than not she was out with guns blazing stubbornly refusing to back down. It was her nature, and she offered no apologies for it.

Her mind centered on her main mission points for the evening. If she was going into any situation, she'd be damned if she went in blind. Shepard was more than willing to meet at her designated zone for Chellick to make an appearance. However, that did not mean she couldn't keep an eye out a day early. She smirked at the vacant hallway with conviction.

Battle. Shepard knew all there was about battle and death defying odds. Technically, she knew all there was about death as well, but she refused to dwell on that part of her story. Her eyes flashed with nearly predatory delight at the prospect of entering the heated thrum and rush of confrontation. Though she was not a hardheaded person who tried to tempt others into a fight for small reasons, she still relished each opportunity to pit her mettle against those of different species. It was not her honed abilities that made her an impressive force on the battlefield, but her sheer and extensive will to survive.

Surviving was easy, and living was hard. The saying was easy and very apt in her thoughts for she was an expert at going against odds that seemed nearly suicidal. She laughed quietly to herself at the understanding that her current mission could be classified as such. In all reality she truly did seem to take the stance of the underdog. However, Shepard knew she nearly always won. It was as much dumb luck as it was skill. There was no way around that.

She bit the inside of her cheek to tamp down on the small thrill of excitement that coursed through her veins as she pushed past a drunken Krogan and into Chora's den. Shepard had planned on garnering some assistance from the good General Septimus, at the very least to keep some holes from being blown in her cover story. Because, though Chellick was a brilliant detective, she did not give him many points for creativity outside of wooing. She would still swear up and down that he was one hell of a charmer though.

Her eyes adjusted to the dimness and the pulsing music. The Asari dancers swayed in time with the music. Their hips undulated to the beat in a hypnotic rhythm that even set Shepard's pulse higher. She scanned the sea of males that eagerly pawed and paid in equal measure for more. After a few moments, and a welling sense of disappointment, she realized that Septimus was not in attendance. That soured her mood quickly, for she hadn't wanted to stay in this hell hole of gentleman's club any longer than she absolutely had too.

Her hazel eyes locked on the bartender, the same one from last night, and she nodded briefly. Her feet moved her across the floor. The lights changed the color of her clothing and hair, giving it a more sultry appearance in the red glow. Shepard perched herself gracefully on the nearest stool, and kicked one leg out provocatively. She slapped a hand on the bar, and motioned for a drink. The bartender gave her a quick smile and poured a strange purple liquid. Shepard grasped the glass and marveled at how cold it felt against the sweltering heat of the establishment.

She skimmed the occupants in open curiosity from behind the rim of her glass. A Hanar of all things, floated or walked she wasn't entirely sure which, to a nearby Asari dancer clad in black. Shepard shook her head in horrified fascination at how a union between the two species would work. She tilted her head slightly to see a better angle, but she still couldn't come up with anything that wasn't straight out of Fornax magazine. And, that thought also made her want to scrub out her brain with soap.

She sipped her beverage carefully, letting the slow burn of the alcohol tease her senses. A heavy thud landed to her left and she glanced up quickly with her body tensing. The slow leer of one of the mercenaries from flux greeted her. Shepard eyed him appraisingly while searching for weapons. As far as she could see he held an assault rifle, with three to four spare clips, and possibly a hand cannon. Her gaze darted to his hip in confirmation of her first inclination. Shepard could see the butt of the gun poking out from its holster at his hip. She decided that he was not overly armed, and should it come down to it, she would easily wipe the floor with him.

She took a long and slow sip of her drink. Her eyes locked with his challengingly.

"I see you don't have your little cuttlebone friend," his teeth were slightly crooked and though he was not _ugly_, it certainly made him less attractive.

Shepard glanced away from him. She slammed the last few drops of her drink and ordered another. She slid the glass forward in a silent request to the bartender.

"You must not have heard me," the man to her left hissed menacingly; "I was asking were your friend was."

"No, I heard you," she commented dryly and nodded her thanks as the purple liquid was replenished, "I just don't feel like answering."

Her eyes sliced from her drink to his face. Her features were completely passive, but her warning was clear in each syllable.

"You bitch," he snarled at her in agitation, "who do you think you are?"

It had been on the tip of her tongue to tell him _exactly_ who she thought she was. However, the higher functioning part of her brain recalled the story Chellick had complied with great detail. Her painted lips parted slightly and she grinned at him in cocky enthusiasm. Regardless of what he thought was going to happen, she knew how this merc's plans around.

"Me?" Her voice was sugar-coated acid and she let it drop from her lips like rain. "I'm Alice Gunn. Who the hell are you?"

The man's murky brown eyes scanned her from head to toe. He took in her languid posture, and the feral gleam in her eyes. She was waiting for him to make a mistake, and he was waiting for her to be afraid. Shepard scoffed slightly at the thought. '_He'll be waiting for a long fucking time'_, she chuckled internally.

"You're quite the spitfire aren't you?" His leer was starting to bother Shepard.

"I'm a lot of things," she commented offhandedly.

"I bet you are," he leaned in closer, trying to intimidate or seduce.

She sighed heavily, before draining her glass in one long gulp. The aftertaste of raspberries hit her tongue and she savored it for a moment. She turned her head away from him and looked around the room once more. There was no one terribly close by if she had to teach this guy a lesson. And, if she really let loose on him to get out some pent up frustration, she could just pay for the damages later. Honestly, it might help her supposed reputation as Ms. Gunn if she beat the hell out of him.

Shepard weighted her options carefully. She drummed her fingers on the top of the bar in contemplation.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

She reached up quickly, like a snake striking at a foolish mouse that had wandered far to close, and grabbed his neck. Shepard brought his head down on the bar with punishing force, and she smirked as the vibrations sent her glass toppling off the bar. She did regret the glass breaking, it meant one of the bar staff would have to clean it up.

She held the interloper's head down with a vindictive sort of glee. Her life was a little complicated right now, but violence thought barbaric was simple. Shepard was a fan of simple. Simple… and dead Reapers. Mostly the simple though.

She brought her painted lips close to the man's ear. Her voice was steadily calm and her face was impassive.

"Now listen, and listen good, because I am only going to say this once," she reached to his side and grabbed his firearm while he was still dazed, "do you see this gun?"

She waved it in front of him to make her point very clear. The man made a whining whimper in the back of his throat. Shepard would not have blinked if the man let loose his bladder all over the somewhat clean floor.

"Do you really want to through your life away by insulting my preference in males?"

The snide and racist remark about Chellick had struck a nerve with Shepard. She had been originally pro-human, but beings like Garrus had quickly altered her skewed views. As much as she had adored Ashley, her bigotry had been a point of contention between the pair. Shepard signaled to the barkeeper, who looked unfazed by the whole ordeal, for another drink. The man trembled under her hand, and Shepard cocked the gun in his direction.

"Now, I am going to take your silence as a 'no'," her eyes narrowed harshly on his startled brown ones, "and trust me. You want me to take it as a no. I'm going to finish my new drink. Thank you by the way, " she stated, flashing a bright smile to the bartender, "and you are going to walk out of here without your guns. Either of them."

The man nodded, as much as humanly possible with his face jammed against the hard surface. Shepard nodded in satisfaction when he stood after she had released him, and set his assault rifle on the bar. She gave a small but terrifying smile and removed the safety. Shepard pointed it at the man's crotch as he scrambled to move away from her.

"Good boy," she mumbled under her breath.

"I'm going to have to charge you for the glass," the cute female human uttered in ill-concealed amusement.

Shepard spared a wry glance toward the petite bartender before looking at the assault rifle thoughtfully. She nudged the previously offending weapon toward the other woman.

"Will this do?"

The dimple reappeared in the woman's right cheek and Shepard stared at her in surprise that she had lasted even a single night in a place like this.

"That's do fine for the glass and few other drinks," with a wink the bartender left to the other end of the bar.

Shepard spared a snort of amusement for the whole exchange and decided instead to focus her attention of the group of three other people that had watched her handle the annoying mercenary. Her hazel eyes stole a few glances at the two Turians that were eyeing her with renewed interest. One of them seemed oddly familiar, but she couldn't put her finger on it just yet. Her trigger finger had begun to itch on the pistol she still gripped in her dominant hand.

She could evaluate the scene in a heartbeat. If she placed a single round in the tallest turian's head, right underneath one of his plates, and then four shots as scatter fire to distract or scramble the remaining pair. If she used the bar as cover she could have winged a drawn out fire fight. She could always hold them off until reinforcements arrived.

"Are you dancing later?"

Shepard was pulled from her planning suddenly by the species specific timber of a turian. Her face lightened under the red light, and she gave a wide grin. Her head was still turned away from the voice, but her tone was filled with flirtation.

"For you? I could dance all night," she replied sexily as she turned.

However, she was shocked by the azure markings, turned purple under the light, which greeted her. They were altered. They now rounded around his eyes and farther toward the back of his fringe. Dumbly, she looked down at her omni-tool. According to it, Garrus was nowhere in the vicinity. But the face looking back at her was most definitely the same one that haunted her heart.

Out of defense and perhaps out of shock she began to laugh softly. Her shoulders shook and her grin turned into a beaming smile.

"Does every turian have to ask if I am dancing later?" Her eyes shifted from him to the Mercs. Their expressions were closed, but she could still tell they were watching her. The taller turian male nudged his buddy and there was some comment exchanged.

Garrus eased himself into the stool next to hers. If he had seen the exchange between her and the other merc, he gave nothing away. His mandibles flared gently and he leaned forward toward her. Shepard felt her heart rate increase at his nearness. This was becoming an uncomfortable pattern for her. Turians and bars never seemed to mix well where she was concerned.

Garrus shrugged lightly, his eyes shining like a fierce predator under the glow of the colored light. "Maybe something about you makes us wonder?"

"Us?" She quirked her lips into a sultry grin and went back to her neglected drink. Part of her was thrilled to have a few moments with him that weren't tied up in awkwardness or jealousy by either party. Shepard shifted slightly in her seat. She tried to quell the veritable tide of hormones rushing straight to her core.

Hawk-like blue eyes pierced her. His markings, so foreign and yet , still the same teased her gaze. "Maybe us," he smiled widely, "maybe just me," he uttered lowly.

A shiver of delight and lust traced a path up her spine. Shepard raised a brow at him in mock surprise. Her lids lowered and a blush stained her cheeks. Her hair, which was altered from its familiar state, seemed to leave her neck bare in invitation. She watched his eyes trace the line of her neck, and Shepard bit her lip before straightening herself.

"Well," she traced a finger over the rim of her new glass, "if it's just you, I suppose that would be alright."

The soft purr of her voice was nearly drowned out by the rumble of approval emanating from his chest. His mandibles clacked open and close for a moment, as he processed her words. Shepard leaned closer, her lips parted slightly as she stared at him with the lust she had always felt.

"I don' think we've been introduced," he rumbled as the bartender neared again to take his order, "I'm Claudius."

Shepard nearly laughed at the pained expression that never quite left his face at the name. She would have to talk to him about his face when he said his cover name. It wouldn't do to look as if he had just been asked to give a lounge bath to a Rachni.

"Claudius huh? I'm sorry," she oozed with false sympathy, "that is a terrible name."

"Tell me about it," he commented dryly as the bartender poured a strange yellow liquid into a glass for Garrus.

"Hm," he half moaned, "maybe later."

Her smile was flirtatious, but her hazel eyes were still watching the three mercs watching them with interest. The turians were a concern, but it was the Asari which gave Shepard pause. The dark eyes watched her every move, and Shepard was concerned for she had seen that same calculating look in the eyes of Aria. A pang of dread echoed in her stomach.

A gloved hand traced the hand that held the procured hand gun. Shepard jumped slightly and blushed. She gave an uncertain glance toward Garrus, who seemed to be ignoring the mercs.

"I didn't catch your name," he prompted sexily.

She felt her lips tug into another grin. Garrus always had that effect on her. "Name's Alice," she replied sipping her drink again. Shepard placed the gun on the bar, and retracted the hand Garrus had touched.

Being so close to him, coupled with the danger of the situation caused her arousal to spike in a similar fashion as it had with Chellick. She licked her suddenly dry lips, and tried not to lose focus on her reason for coming her in the first place. Her hazel eyes locked on the Asari once more, whose blue markings seemed to make her face a touch more fierce and a bit foreboding. Shepard shifted slightly, and rested her hands atop the bar once more. The gun was within reach, but continued to lay untouched, and the assault riffle was next to it, winking innocently at her in the dimmed area.

Garrus leaned forward quickly and his mandibles brushed the delicate outer shell of her ear.

"Looks like the Asari is the leader, and as from what I can see the black market is do to float this way. But, we are going to have to get back there first," he whispered half seductively.

Shepard gave a half-hearted, but flirtatious laugh to cover his serious words. She leaned closer to him, her finger tips traced his new azure markings with some semblance of longing. Her lips parted slightly and she gave him a telling look.

"What's say you and I go find a room in the back?"

His mandibles fluttered quickly, and pulled into a turian grin. It oozed sheer cockiness

"I thought you'd never ask," he rumbled deeply, and let his talons glide up her arm to produce a very real shiver of sensation.

Shepard slipped off of her stool gracefully. There was no time like the present to test out their new cover stories. And, should all else fail, she had a newly acquired hand cannon to try out.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Well, thank you all for your amazing reviews! I truly appreciate all those that take the time to leave me an opinion or a comment. Kudos to you all =)**_

_**With that being said, Rated M, I own nothing, and enjoy! ….And….COMIC RELIEF!**_

OoOoOo

Shepard slipped the safety off of the pilfered hand cannon with ease. Her hair swayed gently behind her as she turned to spot Garrus walking rather closely to her. She attempted to appear sultrier than she truly felt. Even though there was a very real physical attraction, this was purely business and she was most likely about to be shot at by someone.

Experience had led her to believe it always seemed to end that way.

Her hazel eyes scanned the crowd and she could see from the corner of her vision the same unknown Asari watching her with acute interest. The other female's dark eyes traced Shepard's body in a way that could only be described as an invasion of privacy. Shepard suppressed a slight shiver of revulsion. There were very few beings in the entire galaxy that she allowed to look at her like that, and this Asari was defiantly not on the list.

She lifted her free hand to her hair and twirled a stray lock around her index finger coyly smiling up at Garrus. She watched his mandibles twitch and could not tell if he understood the gesture. Her relief was prominent when his blue eyes flickered from her to directly past her shoulder, as they passed the merc team leader. The two turian males, unfortunately for Shepard, caught her scent as they moved unhurriedly toward the back rooms.

One male leaned toward the Asari and whispered something Shepard could not hear. She felt her pulse rise with a sudden shot of adrenaline. Out of years of training, she immediately sought out the nearest areas for cover. The music took on a poetically dark beat, and Shepard nearly smiled at the irony of the situation. Here she was, only able to flirt with Garrus as someone else, smelling of two alien males, most likely about to enter into a massive fire fight, and only packing a single firearm. However, she knew she could hold her own when it came down to the wire.

Shepard felt talons at the small of her back, and her head snapped up to Garrus' face in question. His blue eyes burned into her own with a deep glow that nearly left her breathless. She heard the clicking of another turian, the smaller of the mercenary males and Garrus snarled at the interloper. All in all, it was highly convincing that they were a couple of hormonal singles about to indulge in a little… carnal pleasure.

Shepard twisted her lips into a rather pretty pout, and she used the same free hand to trace a quick line across his markings. Garrus leaned in his head toward her touch, and she couldn't help the gentle look that overcame her gaze. However, it hardened at the movement behind them as they moved along the hallway. She was not entirely sure that they could keep the ruse for their need of a backroom, or if Chora's den even had rooms available for the more _eager_ male clientele. Yet, she did not doubt that if there was a black market setup here it would be in the back of the establishment.

Once again, experience had taught her it normally was in the back of a place. It was far easier to escape C-SEC and the consequences if you could stall them from getting in the back. Also, she would have to be careful for hidden weapons of caches where firearms could be stored for easy access. She watched, as much as possible without rousing suspicion, the face of the Asari that followed them casually down the hallway. Shepard could feel her instincts scream of the danger in the person following them.

She gripped the hand cannon tighter, willing her hands to feel less clammy. It was something that had always been a physical reaction of hers to impending violence. She steadied her breathing as best as she was able under the circumstances. Shepard let out a light giggle and made a show of stumbling into Garrus. He twitched his mandibles in response, but offered no resistance. He trusted her, and she in turn trusted him implicitly. Shepard traced a hand along his hip, away from the prying eyes of the Asari stalking them, no longer subtly, down the hall. The blue creature's eyes gleamed with a sickening sort of bloodlust that Shepard could only ever recall seeing in the eyes of Wrex or Grunt.

Her fingers wrapped around the concealed weapon that Garrus had brought with him. '_God Bless Turians,_' Shepard thought with amusement. They were normally armed to the proverbial teeth with weaponry, and she had always admired that. Her hand guided his toward his weapon as she pressed her body closer to his. She whispered something just a touch naughty in case the Asari could hear her.

Shepard reared back with a sexy smile, and then her muscles snapped into action. She whipped around to see the barrel of another weapon already pointed at them. Her finger squeezed the trigger with practiced ease. There came a sharp cry as bullets filled the corridor. Shepard pushed Garrus behind her, and backed them into an open room on the right. The Asari let out a pained howl, and Shepard snarled in satisfaction.

"I'll kill you for that bitch," the blue skinned alien shouted.

Shepard leaned against the cool metal doorframe, her heart hammered in her ears, but it was easy to drown out. She glanced at Garrus, who was putting together his Sniper rifle with nearly frightening efficiency. Yet, as fast as he was, she was not convinced they had time for this.

"Just use the assault rifle," she hissed out in agitation.

"I'm better with the sniper rifle," he replied, not even looking up from his task.

Shepard leaned out into the hall and shot off a few more rounds, the sudden rush of footsteps could be heard from both sides. She was vindicated that there was indeed, most likely, some illegal activity going on in the other rooms. However, she was also concerned that there was only Garrus and herself against an unknown number of assailants. Shepard did not know how many people it would take to overwhelm them. It was also to their disadvantage that she was without armor.

"Garrus," she commanded, leaving no room for argument, "just pick a damn gun, and shoot it!"

"I like the proficiency better with a sniper rifle," he shot back.

She leaned out once more, and a bullet grazed her upper arm. Shepard hissed between clenched teeth. She saw a turian charging out form their right, and she aimed for his head. It was a clean and quick kill. His head slightly exploded, sure, but it was quick.

"Nice one!"

"Garrus I need your help here."

"Almost done."

"That had better be the best sniper rifle in the galaxy," she leaned out once more and caught the Asari in the leg, "Vakarian."

She could hear the sound of a clip being loaded into his weapon and nearly sighed in relief. Her hands were still slightly clammy, and she peaked out into the corridor to see the Asari clutching her injured appendage. Her translator failed to catch what she was being called, but Shepard took the distraction to place a single bullet between the Asari's neck and shoulders. There was a rush of blue blood and a faint gurgling sound.

"Incoming Krogan," Garrus shouted to her right. Shepard noted he had taken position inside the doorframe as well. They were slightly crowded, but the landscape did not allow for much cover outside of a room.

"Then shoot him," she commented flippantly.

Her attention was focused on the two turian males from before that were slinking down the hallway. She could hear the screaming of patrons at the continued gunfire. She took a steady breath, and leaned out once more to peg the closest turian in the shoulder. Garrus bumped her elbow when he backed up to take his shot. She gritted her teeth in order not to turn and punch him out of reflex.

She moved out of the door, and toward the Turians. She shot while moving her feet, swiftly. A few stray shots that were returned, grazed her body, but she shook them off. The pain was registered and then forgotten. Shepard had often wondered if that was in part to Cerberus, or if she just had some nerve damage.

Her eyes widened as one of the turian's heads left his body with sickening speed. She could hear the whoop of excitement from Garrus, and nodded her thanks, while still keeping her attention on the last turian hiding near the entrance of the hall. She sprinted forward, before the turian could escape or change direction. She reeled back as a snarling face aimed a gun for her head. Her fist lashed out and made contact with the male's face. His neck cracked back with a strange sound, similar to the crunch of a foot on a gravel road. Shepard grabbed his weapon, her fingers nimbly found the trigger without looking, and she let out two shots simultaneously from each weapon.

She turned her head at the spray of blood from the impact of the bullets.

Her hazel eyes scanned the room. Some people had been trampled in the frenzy to flee, and she was sorry for that outcome. It was never easy to see the bodies of innocents splayed out on the floor. However, there was no time to mourn them as of yet. She still needed to get back to Garrus. She kneeled next to the dead turian and grasped a few of his clips. Her bullet count was almost zero. Quickly, she reloaded and started back into the hall.

Garrus was holding his own, toe to toe, with two approaching Krogans. The floor rocked beneath her for a moment as a concussive blast filled the hall. Shepard hurried to his back, trying her best to given him some fire support. They had to stop the Krogans before they got to close with their shotguns. '_Nasty pieces of work_,' she thought vaguely.

Shepard hated their regenerative powers, outside of when they were on her side. Opposing them was a nightmare and a half with multiples. Even worse, they had armor and most likely barriers.

"The sniper rifle has better _proficiency_," she quipped sarcastically as a shot was rendered ineffective.

Garrus' blue eyes snapped to her for a moment, and then back. "They do, and Krogan charging."

Shepard ducked away from the large body hurtling toward her. The Krogan continued on and straight into the doorframe. The impact gave an impressive sound, and she took the opportunity to place six shots directly into the back of the Krogan's head.

"One less," she muttered and wiped the few stray drops of blood from her cheek.

The last Krogan fell to three concussive blasts, and Shepard could hear the ringing in her ears. She shook her head to clear the sound away. She peaked out into the corridor, and looked both ways. There was no movement, and she could not hear anyone coming. Signaling Garrus, they proceeded down the hall. Systematically they began to check every room.

The first room held nothing but a spare medical kit, and a few credits that seemed to have been wedged away by one of the dancers. Shepard, lead them into the next room, where they met a slight resistance of a much unprepared Salarian with a shotgun. She was forced to grudgingly admit that Garrus' sniper rifle was rather proficient. However, she would die again before she said it out loud. The third, and largest room, held a stash of illegal weaponry and a single electronic pad. It had been nestled, in haste, on top of a crate filled to the brim with flash bang grenades.

Without hesitation, Shepard picked up the device. A short span of time passed as her eyes flew over the illuminated information. Her hazel eyes widened slightly, and she gritted her teeth. Frustration and dread lit her veins into bonfire of suppressed fury. Shepard dropped the pad in disgust and clenched her fists. She gave a quick air jab to vent off the peak of her ire, and she reached for the fallen device with harsh intent.

She blinked and scanned the data once more.

"Shit," Shepard swore suddenly in the tiny and enclosed space, "Fucking hell."

The glow of the electronic device in her hand hummed quietly. She waved her omni-tool over the device and started to download the information contained within. It was more damming than one she had found of an eerily similar origin. Her lips worried her bottom lip as she watched with hazel eyes that glinted under the florescent blue light.

A single soft blip heralded the completion of the download. Her face morphed into one of great irritation and she lashed out. A booted foot struck a nearby corpse with deadly precision.

"Shit," Shepard hissed once more, "FUCK!"

She huffed a soft breath through her nose in exertion. Her hair fell in disarray round her shoulders, and she spared a quick breath to get a few strands away from her eyes. She scanned the ill-gotten message once more before she tilted her head back while closing her eyes.

'_This just went from bad to worse,_' she thought agitatedly.

"Well...," Garrus rumbled from behind her, "what does it say?"

She cracked a single eye open to glare furiously at her Turian companion.

"It's in regards to my _favorite_ Asari," she quipped heatedly.

Garrus started at her a moment and his mandibles fluttered as he thought.

"Liara?"

Shepard returned her head to its normal position and had begun to rub the bridge of her nose. It was a habit that displayed her short patience in dealing with people that were purposefully being obtuse. She really was not in the mood for jokes. The adrenaline that had thrummed throughout her body before, had run its course and left only weariness in its wake.

"No Garrus," she stated calmly, "I wouldn't be swearing this much if it were Liara."

"Oh," he muddled that thought to himself for another few heartbeats, "Sha'ira?"

"No Garrus," Shepard sighed in exasperation.

"Samara?"

"Garrus!"

"…"

"…"

"I'm out of Asari," he admitted with a shrug. His features were slightly apologetic and his eyes gleamed with a light that suggested jocularity.

"It's Aria," Shepard supplied mutinously.

"Oh shit," he returned in shock with wide mandibles.

"_Exactly."_

"So…," he started casually, "does that mean what I think it does?"

Shepard glared out of the corner of her eyes and Garrus scratched the back of his neck in an awkward gesture as he looked at the floor suddenly.

"If you're thinking I have to let Aria _know_ about this, then yes," she commented in a pseudo-pleasant voice that still dripped with heavy sarcasm.

Blue eyes pierced her suddenly and his expressive mandibles shifted into a turian grin.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking," he rumbled impishly.

Shepard's face twisted into a scowl and she appraised him quietly for a moment.

"You're lucky you're cute…,"she started with a slow and sultry smile, "_Claudius_."

Garrus' smile dropped as if the strings to it had been cut. His mandibles closed and he made a sickened noise in the back of his throat. To Shepard, he sounded as if he were choking.

"Hey now," he called, with hands raised in surrender, "no need for friendly fire."

Shepard spared him a quick grin that died a swift death as she muttered under her breath. A few taps on her omni-tool and the uploaded data was sent off to a secure communication line; one that had been established shortly after her first dealing with Aria on Omega. Shepard found Aria to less than favorable with her choices and ideals. However, she bore some admiration for the Asari for controlling what was undoubtedly a cesspool with a modicum of order.

… That did not mean Shepard liked the woman… at all.

Garrus peaked over her shoulder, and Shepard had to fight the tell-tale skipped heartbeat at his nearness. She concentrated on her task with renewed vigor. His blue eyes were watching her, and she could see in her periphery that his gaze was centered on her face.

He cleared his throat, which seemed all too loud in the tiny room. "You smell…nice, by the way."

Shepard glanced up from her tool and gave him an odd look.

"I smell like you Garrus."

The Turian quivered his mandibles for a moment, and his gaze landed on hers. Shepard tilted her head in confusion at his silence. Shepard waited a few seconds for him to say something else. He looked as if there was something on the tip of his tongue. She gave him a soft, but encouraging smile at the prolonged period of staring. Still he said nothing, so she shrugged slightly and returned to her tool.

"All done," she stated commandingly, "Let's go."

They walked leisurely into the other destroyed back rooms of Chora's den. She was grateful that Septimus had not been in attendance tonight. It could have been a very different situation if she had needed to keep a close watch on his back. She traced the path of their chaos back to a few rooms she had left mostly unchecked. No one had lived, but Shepard had not had the luxury of time during the confrontation.

"I know," he said a few minutes later, when they had begun to search the bodies of the dead for useful items or credits.

"Know what?" She asked with confusion evident.

"I know you smell like… me," he finished lamely.

She couldn't help but laugh softly. "It's fine Garrus," she assured gently, "it doesn't bother me."

His head snapped up so quickly that Shepard was surprised it was still attached. His expression seemed uncertain, but vaguely hopeful.

"It doesn't?"

Shepard felt a bubble of understanding well inside her mind. It was evasive but lingered in some way that reminded her dimly of encroaching predator. She could not place why she felt as if the proverbial world weighed on her reply, but her instincts had never led her astray before. She swallowed nervously for a second, and her gaze held his in stark honesty.

"No," she admitted openly, "it doesn't bother me."

His face was hard to read, or perhaps it was that she had never seen such an expression on his face before. Her confusion spiked and she desired to understand what had changed in his countenance due to her words. She wet her lips and stalled for a single second of time to place the words in correct order. Her hand reached out in silent supplication to what, she did not know, as he stared at her with a look she had never seen directed at her.

Whatever could have been said was lost to the fathomless bounds of time. They stared at one another, both wanting to say something, but not knowing what needed to be said. Shepard turned her head away and searched the next body unperturbed. However, she did find a handful of credits, and what also looked to be a model ship on one of the mercenaries. Her hazel eyes quickly read the box.

…Nope, she did not have this one yet.

"Are you stealing a model ship?"

She spared a glace to the curious expression that had filled Garrus' plates with some misgiving.

"It's not _stealing_," she argued heatedly, "it's more like the spoils of battle…or something."

"You're stealing a _model ship_," he returned condescendingly.

She glared at him, trying not to imagine how easy it would be just to fire off a warning shot… or two.

"I collect them," she stated, as if that would end the conversation.

"You _collect model ships_?"

She sighed in irritation. "Do you have to say it like that?"

He grinned at her slowly.

"No, but I'm going to," Garrus rumbled smoothly.

She looked at him with an impassive face for a few tense breaths. Her left hand clutched the box for the model ship tightly to her ribcage as if it were something infinitely precious. Her hazel eyes were slightly dilated and Garrus backed up a few paces. She narrowed her eyes harshly. There was a soft, but clearly audible 'click'.

"Shepard, put the gun down."

"…No."


	10. Chapter 10

***coughs* Wow, I am in awe of your praises and the fact that so many of you consider this to be a "Good ME fanfic". Why, thank you all so very much!**

**I know there was a complaint (okay… maybe a **_**few**_**) that my Shepard rambles too much… sorry, I will try to watch it and see if I can't tone down the long windedness a bit.**

**Anyway, the standard stuff. Rated M, I own nothing. And never fear! There will be more Turian NPC's soon. Because, I haven't tormented Shepard enough apparently.**

OoOoOo

"No? What do you mean 'no'?" Garrus' mandibles opened wide in shock.

Shepard rolled her eyes at his dramatics, before shooting a single warp round just past his face. The Turian's eyes widened to comical proportions and Shepard blinked at him looking nonplussed. Her intended target, an Asari that had survived past the Krogans and their onslaught, went down on the metal floor. Impassively, Shepard watched her blue blood soak the ground.

It was actually sort of pretty, the color… that is.

Garrus sputtered as he turned to stare at the last opponent, who was motionless behind him. "You could have warned me," he growled out lowly.

"Yeah," Shepard agreed readily, "I could have."

Garrus gave her an easily discernible look that told Shepard he was less than thrilled with her antics. She smiled at him with her canines gleaming in the florescent light. Yeah, she could have and maybe, should have, done a lot of things in her time. However, now she had to focus her attention on making sure Aria T'Lok did not come to the Citadel.

Or, if she did, Shepard wanted dibs on the first hiding place.

Shepard grimaced at the mere thought of the blue skinned snake she had dealt with on Omega. However, basic human honor forced her to contact said snake. Yet, Shepard did not for a moment think that the same favor would ever be returned. In the end, however, it was all useful information that would garner a high price with the right sort of people.

Namely one vengeful, ancient by human standards, Asari with a penchant for seeming aloof…

'_Fuck, this is going to be one giant headache_,' She could tell already. Shepard holstered her weapon, as best as she was able, considering she didn't have an actual holster or even belt loops in this God-forsaken outfit.

And, had she mentioned that civilian clothing had no comfortable place to hide weapons?

Her hair fell in front of her face, and Shepard scowled at the traitorous locks with abandon. Her hazel eyes slanted back toward Garrus, who was studiously putting away his meager weaponry. Including the sniper rifle he simply 'had' to use against Krogans for better efficiency. She made a mental note to speak with him later about his terrible timing.

"Well," she stated casually while glancing down the now destroyed corridor, "Let's go… _Claudius._"

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Garrus' suspicious tone echoed sharply behind her.

Shepard grinned triumphantly.

"Oh, you have _no _idea," she all but purred in response.

With extreme caution for other possible threats, she all but tip-toed out to the main area to get her barring. Shepard noted that the bartender and any other, non-associated patrons had fled after the first few shots of gunfire. Most likely, however, they were ordered out by the thugs of the merc group.

She let loose a low whistle as she surveyed the damage with a touch of pride and fascinations. Whoever ended up having to pay for the damages was going to be _screwed_. Of course, Shepard had no intention of paying for the mess herself. '_Let the Illusive Prick pick up the tab_,' she thought candidly.

A long shadow cast its way across the entrance of Chora's Den, and Shepard grabbed quickly for her weapon. Her fingers twitched slightly and her adrenaline peaked once more. Hazel eyes narrowed with baited breath as the figure drew closer. She sent Garrus hand signals so that he would fall back, and provide cover if she needed it later.

The figure grew closer, and beneath the dim red light, Shepard could make out a distinct Turian-shaped stranger. She could make out the way his mandibles as they widened in surprise.

"It must have been one memorable 'Happy hour'," the turian rumbled acerbically.

Shepard lowered the gun and blinked in astonishment.

"General Septimus? What, do you live here now?"

She holstered her weapon, as best as she was able, and strode forward with a wide grin in place. The Turian turned toward her with what could only be described as a twinkle in his avian-like eyes.

"Hm. It's you," he stated fondly, with his mandibles twitching in amusement, "Well… that explains… everything."

She laughed softly as he gestured to the overturned chairs, broken glass, and other debris that littered the main area. Shepard heard Garrus come up behind her, and she gave a wry smile to Septimus for his over-simplified, but essentially correct, statement.

"Why General," she teased flirtatiously, "You say the _sweetest_ things."

Shepard was struck off kilter by the low growl that Garrus gave off. She shot him a scathing look. She could put up with his macho-male bullshit only so much. And, quite frankly, General Septimus was off limits to said displays. However, it appeared that Garrus was unaffected by her optical promises of a fate worse than death.

Turians… sexy bastards.

"She-"

"Alice," she corrected swiftly, lest some unknown being be listening, "Alice Gunn. It's great to see you again General."

"Oh please. Dispense with the formalities," he said leaning toward her, but staring at Garrus with an unreadable expression, "Call me Septimus. Such a lovely lady as yourself, has more than earned the right."

Shepard had to stifle a bark of horrified laughter as Garrus _hissed_. Actually _hissed_ like a furious cat about to leap and shred someone's arm to bits. Septimus appeared to be inordinately pleased by the reaction, or Shepard suspected he was, for he drew her hand to place a chaste kiss upon it. His mandibles scraped along her skin and the sensation was akin to sandpaper, but done so lightly, that she could have described it as 'tickling'.

A sultry smirk painted her lips and she looked back toward Garrus.

"And, I believe you know my companion…_Claudius."_

Septimus' mandibles twitched in unabashed amusement, and a low rumbled echoed from his chest. "No, I don't believe we have been introduced… Claudius was it?"

Garrus looked murderous, and a touch embarrassed all at once. Or, as much as was possible for a Turian to convey, given their plates did tend to impeded facial expressions.

"_General_," Garrus snapped out, just shy of insubordination.

Shepard watched as the two males stared at one another. Well, Septimus was staring. Garrus was trying to commit murder with his eyes alone. Honestly, as strange as it was to see him up in arms over someone paying attention to her, Shepard couldn't help but be highly entertained by the turn of events. Although it did leave many questions as to how deep Garrus' affections actually were for her. However, as much as she just loved to speculate about failed romances, this really was neither the time nor the place.

Septimus appeared to have enough of the silent battle of wills, for he turned to her with a serious expression.

"Alice, _my dear_, what brings you to a place like Chora's Den?"

"Actually, I was looking for you," she replied honestly, "I was wondering if I couldn't get some information from a turian General."

"Ah," he commented sagely, "so this is strictly business?"

The innuendo hung between them, and it seemed to Shepard that he was trying to bait Garrus. Into what, she wasn't exactly sure about, but as long as it did not interfere with her mission objectives; she would tolerate it… for now.

"With you? A bit of both, I'd say," she stated cockily with a slight grin.

Garrus, was not pleased if the much louder rumbling was anything to go by. Shepard ignored him in true superior-officer fashion. Her eyes caught Septimus' avian orbs with a look of seriousness that left nothing to the imagination.

"To cut a long story short, the Citadel is mixed up with some bad things, and even worse people," she stated neutrally, and her gaze cut to the entrance of the room to check that there were no stragglers she needed to take care of.

Septimus curled his talons lightly at the firearm that he carried at his side. His markings were bathed in the red light softly, and Shepard was struck by the fact that despite his age, General Septimus was still a rather handsome Turian.

"I didn't hear a question in there," he commented dryly, "Alice," he added as an afterthought. His head tilted toward her slightly

Shepard nearly rolled her eyes at the sudden need for verbal jump rope. She was not a terribly patient person by nature, and playing a game of verbal cat and mouse was only serving to piss her off. She truly did like Septimus, but she could already tell this was going to get quickly out of hand if she did not bring her own brand of human organization into the mix.

She drug a hand through her thoroughly disheveled hair in a blatant show of irritation. It had not escaped her notice that both males watched the movement with acute interest. How unusual.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, a show of defiance and dominance that the turian species respected\ed. Because, she sure as hell was not going to get pushed around. She didn't tolerate it from the Reapers, she didn't tolerate it from the Alliance, and she sure as shit was not going to roll over and try for diplomacy right after being shot at.

"Alright General," she responded coolly despite the inner anger boiling under the surface, "Do you, or do you not, know something about floating black markets in the Citadel?"

"I know a lot of things," Septimus replied civilly, and Shepard grit her teeth tightly.

"So what? Now you cannot give us a straight answer?" Garrus rumbled out aggressively.

Septimus spared him a quick glance, before returning his gaze to Shepard. She held his look with one of her own and tilted her head to the side. Her thoughts churned with why there would suddenly be a need to quantify questions. There had to be a reason as to why Septimus would be dodging her questions with half-veiled answers and shady replies

Shepard caught the slight twitch of Septimus' left mandible toward the western entrance. Cautiously, she kept a look of pure frustration on her features, as her eyes sought out whatever the General was trying to covertly point out. With surprise, she noted one of the Citadel Keepers, busily repairing some of the damage.

'_Of course_,' Shepard thought quickly, '_If they were able to scan the keepers to get new data when I was here two years ago. Who knows what other shady bastards have planted on them. Listening devices maybe? Or cameras if I am exceedingly unlucky. If the Shadow Broker has eyes everywhere… then who else is watching?' _

"Well," she said with a touch of malice to give the correct impression, "If you cannot help me… I think it would be prudent to watch your back." Shepard looked at her gun with appreciation, while trying to convey her understanding with the most expressive part of the human body. Her eyes.

Septimus' mandibles clattered closed slightly, and Shepard nodded. She jerked her head to the side and commanded Garrus to follow her. They left the Turian General standing in the mess, mostly created by Shepard. She did not get very far before a taloned hand reached out and grasped her elbow tightly.

"What was that about?"

Shepard blinked up into the azure eyes of Garrus with mild surprise. Surprise quickly changed into disbelief and slight outrage. She looked down at where he held her, and then back up to his quivering mandibles with great distain.

Garrus seemed to sense what had offended her, for he removed his hand as if touch Shepard burned him.

"Sorry," he muttered awkwardly as she continued to stare him down.

"That," she gestured back toward Chora's Den, "was about someone listening that shouldn't have been. And, _we_ are going to get to the bottom of this cluster fuck if I have to take the Citadel itself apart."

Garrus' eyes widened in shock, and he clicked his sharp teeth in agitation at her threat. He was still very much a staunch and trained member of protecting the Citadel, or its council. Shepard knew this even if Garrus vehemently denied it. There were some things simply bred into his species. And, as Shepard had come to understand, loyalty was at it's core. That is why Sidonis' betrayal had hurt Garrus so deeply. It was for that very same reason she was willing to suffer any political, social, or career blowback if anyone caught wind of her helping him hunt someone down in what could only be termed 'cold blood'.

"Any idea who is orchestrating this whole thing?" His curiosity was evident and Shepard scowled as she continued down the hallway.

She needed to get in touch with a few old contacts, and then she needed to see if Aria T'Lok was in a giving mood. Barring those two ideas, she was as much in the dark about this as Garrus was. However, she was beginning to find it strange that Chellick was only now finding out about this undoubtedly massive operation. Either it was being run by the most tight-lipped circle of murdering sell outs, or someone wasn't giving her the whole story.

"Haven't got a clue, Claudius," she grinned even thought she could not see his expression. Shepard had a pretty good idea of what it would look like.

Her suspicions were confirmed by the faint choking noise that reached her ears

God, some days it was good to be the Commander.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey there! Sorry, I was caught up in some other stories, but I had some specific requests to update this and even though it took some time… here you are! The idea got stuck in my head and I had to roll with it. Once again, I am working on the rambling Shepard does, but it was sort of how I envisioned her character… so I tried XD**

**Also, Lumlum- Have I told you I adore you yet? Because I do.**

**Silverdragon0315 I hope those midterms went well! **

**Smeemoney- No I am not trying to kill you I promise **

**Rated M for later chapters and language! I own nothing. Thanks! For all of my reviewers thank you very, very much for leaving some sort of comment I do honestly appreciate it!**

OoOoOo

'_Dear Aria_-' Shepard tapped at her omni-tool with more force than was strictly necessary. She glowered at the two harmless words before deleting them.

'_Aria, you insane blue bitch_-'

Delete, delete, delete and delete.

This was harder than Shepard had given it credit for.

'_Sadistic azure harpy-'_

No.

'_Beelzebub's incarnate-'_

Hm… getting warmer, but she wasn't sure the reference would be understood.

'_To the current ruler of Omega if the Patriarch hasn't finally spaced you_-'

That might be construed as hostile. Shepard puffed a breath out in annoyance. Her index finger tapped the delete key repeatedly.

'_Aria_-,' alright, well, that was simple enough. Straight and to the point, she could work with that. '-_it has come to my attention-'_

'Ugh. That won't work,' she thought grumpily, 'it sounds too much like an Alliance report.' Her eyes narrowed at the screen once more. She thoughtfully tapped a finger to her chin as she pondered what exactly to say to the ruthless Asari female… or male-female. Whatever Aria was at any rate.

"You plan on talking to me anytime soon, Alice?"

Shepard blinked her gaze up quickly. It landed to her right where Garrus stood with an amused expression shining in his eyes.

"Really hadn't planned on it," she commented flippantly, returning to her task.

'_Aria, I have found disturbing evidence-'_ Did that sound too verbose? Shepard did a mental shrug and soldiered on.

'_-that an illegal weapons ring has been trading on the Citadel._ _Furthermore,_-'

"It is really sort of boring to be walking around while you're ignoring me," Garrus rumbled quietly.

Shepard felt her lips as they quirked into a smirk at his tone more than his words. Was the big bad Archangel _sulking_? It was almost precious. Almost.

She gave a too innocent expression in his direction. "Did you want to help me compose a letter to Aria?"

He looked torn between flat out refusing, and making some bullshit attempt to 'help' her. Shepard snorted dismissively as she returned to her omni-tool.

'-_I have found that whoever is running this operation also has detailed plans for_-'

"I could help you know. I can do more than just shoot people. Mind you, it is very stylish shooting and no one does it quite like me, but I can do more," Garrus insisted mildly.

Shepard spared him a 'And?' glance. When he said nothing else, but moved his mandibles in a nervous habit, she sighed and closed the Omni-tool for a moment.

"Claudius?"

"Yes, Miss Gunn?" he replied with a cheeky grin.

"Hush," she deadpanned.

The turian to her right huffed with indignation at her second dismissal. She turned the omni-tool back on and the orange glow stung her eyes slightly.

'-_Omega, and_-'

Shepard barley held back a squeal of surprise when Garrus' taloned hand wrapped tightly around her wrist, and effectively shut down her work yet again.

"What the hell-" Her words were cut short by the look a pure and unadulterated hatred that seeped from every sharp angle in his face. Garrus was staring straight ahead. His entire body stood so unnaturally still that for a moment Shepard could have sworn he was made of stone. Real-life looking stone that had the neon blue eye piece attached, but stone none the less, and it unnerved her.

She reached a hand toward her 'concealed' weapon. Though her civilian clothing had extremely limited places to hide the procured hand gun, she had managed it.

"Sidonis," he hissed with outrage. Shepard watched his mandibles as they flattened against his face in agitation.

'Well, shit,' she thought humorlessly. As if she hadn't had enough to deal with currently. Yet, she remembered how betrayed Garrus had been and it had forced her to agree to his request for vengeance. Her eyes locked on a non-descript Turian, with a bare face, which was heading toward them.

Not, exactly _them_, but in their general direction.

And, why, oh why, did Shepard have the feeling she was going to have to stop Garrus from shooting him in the middle of the Citadel with thousands of witnesses? As she stole a glance up at Garrus once more, she could have ventured a guess that it had to do with his incredibly determined expression. And, had Garrus looked at her with that much concentration, he would have been tied to the bed in her cabin long ago.

Hm, that was something to think about right before she fell into an exhausted sleep later, if she lived that long.

Shepard clicked into the muscle memory of battle. Her pulse increased at the thought of entering into yet another altercation. Her fingers danced their way down her hip to the grip of her firearm. Remembering her better sense of judgment, she tugged her captured arm slightly to get his attention.

"Now really isn't the time," she started commandingly, with her tone just a touch pleading.

His blue eyes bored into her intently for all of two seconds before returning to the figure of Sidonis.

"You _promised_ me Shepard," he hissed out menacingly.

She winced internally. "And, you know I will keep my word. But right now, if you shoot him in the middle of the damn Citadel, we are going to have C-SEC crawling all over our asses."

"He can't be allowed to get away with what he did."

Shepard placed her free hand over the taloned one that held her. Her tone switched from commanding to cajoling instantly.

"He isn't going to get away with it, Garrus," she half-whispered his name. Her eyes scanned the area immediately around them with wariness. She was also taking the time to look for the nearest exit route just in case she was unable to corral the more murderous side of Garrus.

This, if she were perfectly honest, was something she rather liked about him; his determination that is. However, this just didn't seem like _Garrus_ to her. This near-raging plated turian was almost like an imposter wearing Garrus' handsome face.

"_Garrus,_" she snapped, watching his gaze touch hers for a moment, "he is not going to get away with what he did. I've already sworn that to you, but we cannot just shoot him with witnesses everywhere."

His mandibles twitched wide for a moment, as if he would roar or berate her. His eyes flashed under the synthetic light with the fierceness of a predatory animal on the hunt. He clenched his hands, which caused her to wince in discomfort. His mandibles quivered under her concerned gaze.

"I- I can't Shepard, he has to die. My men, _good men,_ died because of him. If we take him out now, I won't even need Harkin."

Shepard felt her breath still as the crazed look in his eyes. Her throat had gone impossibly dry and for once in her career she was without words to command.

"Garrus-"

"I need to set up, it won't take me long. Distract him for me," he stated with conviction as he scanned the surrounding area.

However, Shepard already knew that there were very few places for Garrus to hide in such an open area as the commons. He would be caught in a matter of moments even if she did her very best to cover him. And, she doubted she would be able to smooth it over by talking to Chellick. Public executions were a bit of a touchy subject, with good reason she supposed. Also, her Spectre status was in name only. If she tried to use her status it could be revoked from her again.

Maybe it was time she took Samara up on that meditation lesson?

"Vakarian," her tone was low and full of unspoken warning, "we'll get another chance."

His mandibles flared as he reached for his weapon. Right there in the open. Shepard felt her alarm rise.

"You don't know that-"

"Do you trust me?"

His blue eyes became startled and she had finally succeeded in pulling his eyes from the intended target.

His mandible clacked at her. "Of course I do, Shepard, you know that."

Her eyes softened under the weight of his confession. "Then trust me now."

His breath stilled and his sharp eyes refused to even blink. Shepard counted her racing heartbeats until he said something. Her fingers wrapped around the grip of her gun, just in case she might be forced to create some sort of commotion to stop Garrus from murdering Sidonis at that very moment.

"You don't know what you are asking."

"I'm asking you to trust me."

Garrus' eyes glazed over slightly and she watched the internal battle that was raging inside of him. His whole body lurched suddenly, like a cat ready to spring upon an unsuspecting mouse.

"Spirits damn it Shepard!" Garrus snarled as he stopped just three inches shy of her face. "He got away because of you!"

No words had ever wounded her more deeply. Shepard flinched and withdrew from him by four or five steps. Her gaze narrowed on him harshly, a reflex to hostile tones like the one he was projecting at her now. She shook her head in part hurt and part indignation. She could tell that Garrus was still furious and whether that blame was all on her she couldn't say.

And, quite frankly, she didn't care.

"You know what Vakarian?" Shepard sneered with distaste, "You go ahead and shoot him. Go for it. I won't stop you." Her features hardened into the mask of authority she usually wore when someone stepped out of line. "And when Chellick comes to drag your plated-ass to jail... I'm not gonna stop him."

Her bitter laughter caused Garrus' mandibles to flutter in an emotion Shepard didn't feel like noticing.

"I've wasted time and resources that I could be using to try and save my species from destruction to help you bury a painful part of your past. Literally. You've asked me to help kill someone in what can only be considered cold blood, and because I am your friend… I agreed. "

Her lips firmed under the weight of her fury. "And, I'm still going to help you kill him. But only because I swore to you that I would."

His too bright blue eyes widened at her cut and dry tone. Shepard had always been a little too soft hearted where Garrus was concerned and while it ached to admit she loved him, it was the truth. But, now that affection was getting in the way of her job and Shepard just didn't have that kind of time to piss away.

She pointed a finger at him in a threatening manner.

"Know this, don't you ever ask me for another favor Vakarian. Not one. Now get your act together or get the fuck off my team. I have bigger things to deal with than this."

She heard his mandibles click in shock as they snapped against his other face plates. She only heard it because she had turned on her heel and left him there. He would either be smart and leave well enough alone until they had another chance, because Sidonis had not seen them, or he would be an idiot and get himself caught.

Right now, she wasn't entirely sure she gave a flying fuck.

Shepard took a ragged breath and opened her omni-tool again. Her face was flushed with anger and she held her head down slowly as she continued her message to Aria. With her mood soured she erased the whole thing.

'_Aria, you need to send someone here in the next standard day. –S.'_

It wasn't exactly a work of art but it got the point across. She blinked down at the second missive with misgivings. She had already altered Aria, but she knew it would be smart to let the Asari feel like she had some sort of control in the situation.

Oh, Shepard had not been entirely truthful with Garrus earlier. She had a vague idea who might be behind the illicit smuggling of weapons into the Citadel, but to accuse the individual outright without a boatload of evidence would serve nothing but to get her removed from the ranks of the Spectres again.

Because death just wasn't enough to keep a good Spectre down…

But bureaucracy had a nasty habit of doing far more damage than the Collector ship that had sliced through the _Normandy_ like butter.

Shepard debated over sending another missive, perhaps to Thane in hopes of keeping Garrus out of trouble. However, he was a grown Turian and he had to learn to live with his choices just like everybody else.

"Shepard?"

Dear God in heaven, what was it now? Her eyes already narrowed in fury at the interruption.

"Aria sends her regards," the stranger stated in a bored tone.

Shepard became distracted as her omni-tool pinged in a familiar tone. She opened the screen with caution.

'_Shepard_, _Already done-A.'_

She fought the urge to be slightly impressed by how far the blue fingers of Aria could reach. She spared a glance for the newcomer at her side and let out a groan of frustration.

Another damn Turian.

She would have been convinced that she had offended some sort of deity from another world, maybe run over some sort of important religious site while she bounced around in the Mako? It would have made sense, that vehicle had defied the laws of physics when she plunged off of a 12,000 foot cliff and they all lived.

Because that was the only theory she had going right now as to why she was suddenly _plagued _by the species.

She took in his markings with an air of deja-vu.

"Grizzle, right?"

The Turian's mandibles twitched in amusement. "Close, Grizz."

She nodded absently. "That's right." Shepard stared at him… waiting.

"Aria sent me," he rumbled softly and she nearly cringed when his eyes widened suddenly, "seems like you've been busy since we last met."

She growled like an angry cat. "Was there a point to this Grizz or do I get to introduce you to my newest toy?" She pulled the 'procured' weapon from its less than discreet hiding place and eyed it appreciatively. Even, if it was a piece of crap, she knew how to use it and that was all that mattered.

The Turian gave a bark of laughter as he threw back his head.

"You're funny for a human," he chuckled.

She didn't find him all that amusing for a Turian.

He shrugged his shoulders when she failed to reply. "Aria has a job she needs doing. You up for some work?"

She took in his grey armor and his lighter plates. In a way he looked very much like Chellick except his markings were all wrong. He was a handsome enough turian, she supposed. Shepard contemplated his question carefully.

"Depends," she answered truthfully, "what kind of work?"

"Your letter ain't the first time Aria's gotten word of some scumbags running guns without paying the proper dues."

Shepard raised a brow about the 'dues' part. She nearly pinched the bridge of her nose to fight the oncoming headache she knew was coming. Cerberus was good, but they couldn't fix everything.

"What's that got to do with me Grizz?" Her patience was wearing thin.

The turian had the gall to shrug at her again. "Aria figures since you've been so good at keeping an eye out for her, that you'd be willing to help her stop the ones trying to come after what's hers," the male replied in a nonchalant manner.

She wasn't impressed by this.

"Got to be honest with you, I'm busy right now. Saving all sentient species, maybe you've heard about the Reapers? Anyway, I told Aria as a courtesy, nothing more," her voice carried an edge of steel to it.

His avian eyes regarded her with interest,

"You know the deal by now Shepard. This goes to show the example of what happens to people that cross Aria. And she said so. What other reason do you need?"

Shepard straightened herself to her full height. "Not interested. Send Aria my best wishes," she sneered sarcastically.

"I like you Shepard," he rumbled with a turian-smile, "so I'm gonna give you a day to think about this."

She opened her mouth to tell him where and how he could stick it when he leaned in close and his mandibles pulled back into a wide grin.

"You smell good, by the way. What's that? Two suitors? Three?"

She felt her control snap at his leering and gave him a token of her esteem. A solid right-hook across his face. She dusted off her civilian clothing as he staggered back a step.

"Thank you," she responded politely, "and yes, it's two suitors."

Grizz looked at her with a new appreciation that made her stomach tighten in a mild form of fear.

"Wanna make it three?"

Shepard sighed softly. "Please don't make me shoot you."


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey all! Thank you for the reviews. **** I am sorry it has taken so very long to get back to this story. For those that have prompted me to continue, I am glad to say that I am. **

**I hope you enjoy.**

**Rated M. I own nothing.**

Grizz, it seemed, did not know when to leave well enough alone. He grinned at her with vast amusement and clicked his mandibles together as if in laughter.

"Honey, if it means getting close to you," he leered wickedly, "I'll let you do whatever you want."

Shepard blinked at him.

"Move any closer and I'll neuter you."

The Turian grew slack jawed and Shepard was glad to see the smirk wiped off his face. "You're bluffing," he muttered as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Am I?" She made a great show of tapping the weapon before raising her hand to aim it at him. "Let's find out, shall we?"

Grizz glared at her, his mandibles widening in annoyance. "Alright, alright, fine you win." He held up his hands in a mocking gesture of surrender. "Geez, you human women are so uptight. It's all 'I love Turians' one minute, then you try to stick your-"

"I get the point Grizz," she interrupted sharply.

"Yeah, exactly. A guy tries to give it to a-"

"Moving on," she commanded in clipped tones.

The Turian enforcer shot her a dirty look. "Didn't know the _Great Commander_ Shepard was such a prude."

This was getting on her nerves and she'd be willing to bet that his head was not as hard as a Krogans. So if she got the idea to head-butt some sense into him, it might do a bit more good. It was on the tip of her tongue to growl at him. She settled instead for poking him in the chest with her gun.

"I'm. Not. A. Prude," she hissed at him menacingly.

He leaned forward, his face so close that his mandible's almost touched her lips.

"Prove it."

For an instant, she saw red. Shepard felt her trigger-finger itch a little and had to will herself not pull the trigger.

"I'd be careful if I were you," she warned tightly.

"You're cute when you're angry," he waggled his mandibles at her.

This jackass just did not learn. Shepard cocked her other hand back into a fist and jabbed him twice in rapid succession. He collased to the floor and she sneered at him.

"Tell Aria I'll have to pass on this one."

There was far too much at stake. Her species, his, and countless others were depending on her to save them. No one would listen, and the frustration was pushing down on her so hard that she could feel the need to simply explode in rage. She had warned the council, and all they had done was 'unofficially' back her. Fuck them, fuck him, and fuck this.

Shepard snarled in anger. Here she was pissing away valuable time with a horny Turian, keeping Garrus from completely fucking up his life, and trying to get as much help as possible from dumbasses that didn't want to believe that the Reapers were coming.

Because ignoring a problem has always had such a _fan-fucking-tastic_ track record of making it go away. She ran a hand through her hair in agitation. Hissing in pain when she snagged a knot she hadn't been aware was there. Her thoughts turned over his words again. Even the slight pain made her far more pissed off than before and she glared down at Grizz as he groaned on the floor.

She couldn't see his face as he was clutching it with his hands.

"Was it good for you too sweet cheeks?"

The Turian had the gall to give her a thumbs-up. In spite of herself Shepard let out a bark of true laughter. Suddenly, the anger washed from her and left her drained. She decided it was high time to start following a few leads. Not that she had any actual leads, but she did have a strong hunch.

"Shepard?"

She twitched in surprise when EDI's voice floated out of her Omni-tool.

"You okay?" She nudged Grizz with her boot. She eyed him critically, "Yeah, you'll be fine."

"Commander Shepard?"

She touched a hand to her ear-piece, activating the microphone. Truth be told, she was glad for the reprieve from overly amorous Turians. Or Turians groaning on the floor.

He was being such a baby about this. It was just a few punches to his softer face plates. He'd shake it off in an hour or two. Or, if he didn't Shepard wasn't actually sure she cared.

"Go ahead, EDI."

A knot of worry settled in the pit of her stomach. She could almost hear what EDI was going to say now. It would be something about Garrus being arrested, or Sidonius mysteriously being shot, or even Garrus having been injured.

She couldn't bring herself to think about him dying. It had been horrifying enough to watch him be gunned down by those three merc groups when she'd met him as 'Archangel'. That lump in her throat, which always appeared when she thought about teammates dying or those she had already lost, was back again.

Enough of this morose crap, she thought to herself harshly. She was going to do the best she could with what she knew. And, right now she knew there were several things she needed to save the galaxy.

"The Illusive Man wishes to speak with you," her computerized voice informed her passively.

When it rains, it fucking pours. She rolled her eyes to no one in particular as she started walking back to the ship. Her boots clicking on the floor as Shepard hurried away from Grizz. The Turian rolled to his side, trying to stem some of the blood leaking from his nasal passages.

"Damn," he stated with enthusiasm, "I have _got_ to make sure she works for Aria again."

OoOoOo

It was always the same with this pompous asshole. Shepard shifted her weight to her back leg impatiently as she watched the Illusive man drone on and on. She didn't agree with one thing he said aside from the saving all sentient races. Mostly though he just seemed concerned about the humans, and while she understood caring about your own race, humans were not the only race out there that was facing extinction.

"Shepard. We've caught a break. I intercepted a distress call from a turian patrol." He continued to stand sideways, his profile only illuminated by the strange sun in the background. Shepard winced internally at the mention of a turian vessel. She needed that like another hole in her head. "They stumbled onto a Collector ship beyond the Korlus System."

Now he had her full attention. Gone where her internal musings leaving only the Commander in their place. Quickly she calculated what a Collector ship would be doing there, and though she could not begin to fathom what they might be after she understood that it spelled out trouble.

And, Shepard was a very good person to know when there was trouble.

"The turians were wiped out," he stated blandly, "but not before they crippled the Collector vessel."

Unease rose up within her. Something wasn't right. The original _Normandy_ hadn't even been able to make a dent in the damn thing when they'd fought it, but a turian _patrol_ had? She was instantly suspicious, and though her hostility toward Cerberus was well warranted, this was like the icing on the damn cake.

The Illusive Bastard had the nerve to sit down. "I need you to board the Collector ship and get some hard data. Find us a way to get to their home world."

It took all the control she possessed to ask if he wanted some fucking fries with that. How about a coke as well?

She crossed her arms and stared at him defiantly. "It's a little hard to imagine that a turian patrol could take out a Collector ship," she left the jackass part unsaid.

"Reports indicate the hull is intact, but all systems are offline."

She was unimpressed because that wasn't what she'd been insinuating, and she was aware he knew that.

"They could be making repairs as we speak," he continue on and she raised stared at him impassively, "I'm not saying it won't be dangerous, but we can't let an opportunity like this slip by."

She found his logic to be rather convoluted since 'we' was no applicable to this situation. It was him sitting in a fucking chair guarded by God only knew how many of his little Cerberus drones, while she ran off into the fray with her damned team looking to pull everyone's asses out of the proverbial fire.

She cocked her head to the side and contemplated him. "If the turians had a patrol out there, then why aren't they sending a recon team?"

He fed her some bullshit story, which she already knew was a lie. However, that did not stop her from poking more holes in his fable than there were in swiss-cheese. The fact that he thought he could just sit there and lie to her face pissed Shepard off considerably. Though she understood she had to play nice with Cerberus right now that did not mean it would always be so. And, she was going to file this away for a day when it wasn't because on that day, the Illusive man was going to realize what a bad idea it was to try to mess with her.

Unable to bite back a caustic reply, Shepard promised him she'd look into it and she would. On her own damn time. She knew the stakes, but this was too well set up and too much of a coincidence for her to see it as anything but a trap.

The bastard was trying to get her killed, she could almost swear it.

She angrily cut the transmission, and took a deep breath. Her eyes scanned the chamber with an air of determination. She was going to save them all even if she had to come back from the dead again just to do it. She crouched low and crossed her arms over her knees for a moment, trying to steel herself for the coming events. She had made it this far by her wits, and a fuck ton of accuracy with a weapon. In the dark though, she found a modicum of peace. Thoughts came and went.

They floated at the edge of her consciousness for a moment, before she cast them aside. It was time to strategize, and in truth she _had_ to finish what she'd started. There was simply no other way. She'd promised Chellick that she would take care of this gun ring, and to Garrus she had promised the life of Sidonis.

She stood up, her back was ramrod straight. It was time to get down to business, It was time to shut out the foolishness of love when the fate of everything rested on her shoulders. She gave a rueful smile. This confusing crap she felt for Vakarian had to stop. So she was going to push it out of her mind, and do her best to push him out of her heart.

So, she was going to help Chellick, Garrus, and get ready to charge head-long into battle, because she was Commander Sheapard.

And she was going to do what she did best when there was doubt. Empty a magazine… or twelve.

OoOoOo

As Shepard descended out of the _Normandy_, she looked akin to an angel of determination. She hadn't bothered taking anyone with her. Frankly, she didn't need them right now. She was going to hunt down the little weasel that she had the hunch was responsible for the mess with Chellick. She strode down the pathways of the Citadel like she owned the damn place. Even passersby stopped for a moment and blinked in reaction to the aura of 'Get back' she seemed to exude.

The Hanar shuffled uneasily away from her as she marched. Shepard was going to the C-Sec office to clear her plans with Detective Chellick and maybe, just maybe… she might try and relieve some excess tension.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey thanks to all those who have reviewed! Yes, sorry if I had anyone thinking that this was a dead story, it's not. I have however; unfortunately, developed a massive case of writer's block and this is my third time typing out this chapter. I had to stop myself and just get something out there to maybe inspire me later on it.**

**Rate M. I own nothing.**

OoOoOo

It was starting to get her annoyed. Shepard had a moment to ponder that quick thought as she jogged up to the last would-be merc and stepped on the back of his head, holding him down. She reflexively aimed her shotgun to the back of her targets head, and popped a shot. She winced at the loud echo that resounded all around her; it had just been one of _those_ days.

Her eyes scanned the surrounding area to ensure she was, in fact, alone now.

All she had wanted to do was get to the bottom of a few hunches, perhaps knock a few heads together. She'd never intended for this whole ordeal to become one long drawn out battle. One she had won with some clever tactics and a hell of a lot of skill.

Aria, blue menace that she was, had been surprisingly helpful considering Shepard had refused her 'request' for help outright. It still chapped Shepard's hide that she had been forced to call in a favor with the wench, but it only had gotten worse from there. Information had led to an exchange of power between the pair. It had left Shepard forced to work with Grizz, which had been shudder-worthy in and of itself. So with a well-placed wink and a paid Asari dancer from Chora's den; Shepard had booked it away from the semi-known turian as if the Reapers were after her.

He'd been trying to locate her for over an hour now, but she'd disabled the tracking on her omni-tool and made sure to slip around unnoticed for her information. Or she had been unnoticed until one of the mercs took an unfortunate moment to turn around. The resulting battle had been entirely her fault for being so preoccupied. That is why she enjoyed to the thrill of battle. It reduced all problems down to one. Survival.

She was vaguely surprised that there seemed to be a lot of people willing to throw away their lives to take her one for one reason or another. She wasn't prideful, but coming back from the dead should have been a bit more awe-inspiring, defeating Sovereign aside.

She puffed a lock of hair away from her face. She felt tired now, and decidedly sticky with perspiration. It was not an easy feat taking on a whole squad of mercs by oneself, but it had given her some much-needed focus. It wasn't that she enjoyed killing, in truth she had never really grown accustomed to it, it was simply that Shepard found it much easier to focus when all she had to concentrate on was living to the next breath.

Now, however, she was not in the midst of combat and she felt the weight of the collective worlds on her shoulders once more. She eased her neck from side to side in an effort to relieve some of the tension. She felt tired, angry, and sweaty. Mostly tired.

Her thoughts caressed briefly over her previous intentions when exiting the _Normandy_. Her original plan of informing Chellick had been waylaid by a furious looking Vakarian standing in vigil over the main entry to C-SEC. Shepard hadn't even bothered trying to go past him, or talking to him at all, she'd shrugged in frustration and went after her hunch without having a moment to inform the dear detective. Yet, she couldn't allow that to stop her from the main objective of stopping the illegal weapons ring from creating more deaths or trouble for C-Sec.

Hence, the bodies now strewn about the one of the main cargo holds. Shepard winced at the amount of trouble this was going to stir up, and the amount of paperwork that would undoubtedly follow. Yet, armed with the knowledge that very few exactly trusted her since her semi-forced union with Cerberus, she found herself nearly unable to care all that much. Granted, she felt poorly over leaving Chellick in a bind but not being terribly pleased with him allowed her morals to be kept quietly toward the back of her mind.

Absent mindedly she lifted a PAD off the floor and began to read its contents. There was nothing exactly out of the ordinary. A few hits sprinkled here and there,the shipment contents, authorized by their leader… paid by-. Shepard hummed in surprise that the last part of the information was coded. She attempted to override it without success. She tapped at the screen and loaded the information to her omni-tool to analyze later. She visually scanned the room again to make certain she had not missed anything else. The massive amount of illegal weaponry ranging from pistols to sniper rifles lay stacked in various crates all around her. Shepard understood she would have to flag for C-Sec soon, lest some less than upstanding citizen decided to go into business themselves.

The sound of a door opening caused Shepard to seek cover and she crouched down low. Her shot-gun pulled close to her heart as it hammered in her chest as if seeking escape. She listened intently to the sounds of footsteps as they fell, coming ever closer to her location. Quickly Shepard rolled forward, intent on blasting the unsuspecting intruder with a nice thermal shot to the face.

Her eyes, and the barrel of her gun, ended up staring directly at the turian she had hoped to avoid. She had nearly sworn under her breath at the sight of him. She scowled at the thought that he might know her as well as she knew herself. It was… unsettling.

"Hey, Garrus," she stated lowly as she suppressed the urge to pull the trigger. So many years of training were hard to override sometimes.

His gaze narrowed behind his visor, Shepard slowly put away her firearm. She watched impassively as Garrus noted the bodies strewn about the room and Shepard's blood splattered face.

"Shepard," his voice warbled dryly as it they had always met over random corpses, Reapers aside. "Now I know why it sounded like the first contact war was being reenacted." He mumbled sarcastically.

She looked passed him to nod toward Tali, who's purple hood glimmered under the florescent lights allowing the fine embroidered details to show more prominently.

"Hey, Tali," her tone had turned considerably warmer; however she felt her features shit into a glower before she had been able to curb herself.

"Keelah," the quarian half-whispered in amazement. "When we heard the gunfire, we thought someone might be in trouble."

"I'm fine," she said neutrally brushing off the inquisitive look in companions' posture.

"I can see that," Tali replied wryly.

Shepard mentally conceded that she might have gotten just a touch carried away.

Garrus wore an expression that could have only been summed up as thunderous. His mandibles opened widely in agitation as she glared at Shepard. She held his gaze firmly with her own and said nothing. "You left without informing anyone where you were going."

"That I did," she stated defiantly as she crossed her arms over her torso.

"If you needed something to kill Shepard, we could have been out," he paused for a moment and looked sharply at Tali, "taking care of a personal matter."

"What you two do is not my business," the quarian replied sheepishly as she threw her hands up in mock surrender.

Shepard snorted at the thought. Doing anything of that nature with Garrus now seemed so foreign that she felt the bitter taste of disappointment across her tongue. Due to the fact that Tali was a friend, and Shepard had no wish to embarrass her, she let it slide and drummed up enough conviction to force a joke past her stiff lips.

"Now Tali, it I don't explain the birds and the bees to you… who will?"

The Quarian's purple face-shield glowed prettily at her. "What is a bee?"

It was asked with such trusting innocence, that Shepard could not help but laugh. "It's an Earth insect Tali. Don't worry about it."

"But what do birds and insects have to do with mercs?"

Shepard grinned and cocked her hip. "It's an old reference to explaining the ins and outs of mating to someone else."

"Your insects can mate with birds?" If she could have seen Tali's face, Shepard was certain she would have been gaping.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and counted to ten for patience. "I'll explain it later."

Tali nodded in acquiescence to her wishes, and Garrus still looked none too pleased about the turn of events. Shepard activated her omni-tool both because of necessity and as a way to ignore the six foot plus hulking turian shooting daggers at her with his eyes.

It turned out to be of no avail because Garrus to exception to being ignored. It made Shepard's hackles raise just a fraction more. He was beginning to get the notion that he could simply waltz in and tell her what was what. Shepard was not going to stand for that. She might care for him, and yes it was decidedly more than as a comrade, but she was still the fucking Commander of this crew. Turian ex- C-Sec officer, resistance leader, and friend or not he needed to understand his place.

He was her subordinate, and she was about three steps from reminding him of that fact when he opted to start snarling at her.

"Why were you alone Shepard?"

"Because I wanted to be Vakarian," she bit out frostily. "Tali, I'm sending you some data I want you to decode. It is your top priority while we are here."

"I'm on it."

Satisfied, Shepard watched Tali's nimble three fingers tap at the projection.

"You wanted to be? There are mercs everywhere and you needed _alone_ time?" His plates nearly vibrated with his indignation and fury. "You were seeing Chellick, perhaps?"

Shepard snapped her gaze toward his with a raised eyebrow in disbelief. '_He has the gall to think that is what this was about? ' _Even her own thoughts resonated incredulously.

"No, Garrus," her tone was deceptively calm. "This was not about meeting Chellick. Or Septimus, or Grizz-"

"Grizz?" He was back to looking both shocked and furious. It would have been slightly comical had his face been able to settle on which look it preferred more in reaction to her news.

"Yes, Grizz. The _turian_ that works for Aria," she informed him on the brink of enjoying his obvious discomfort. "You remember her right?"

"Is Grizz here? Tucked away in some dark corner? So he can put his hands all over-"

Narrowing her eyes, she marched toward him and grabbed the front of his suit. Her enunciation was perfect as she told him, in turian, to mind his own fucking business. She watched his plates shift in open displeasure. His mouth clacked shut audibly and Shepard stared at him a moment longer.

Indignation was burning at the forefront of her mind. '_How dare he_?' She had asked the question only once before when he had reacted so strongly to Chellick wanting her. It made no sense to Shepard. He was the one that didn't want her. Or perhaps he did and that is what the whole 'scenting' ordeal had been about. Either way he had no damn right to be upset about anything with her sex life. He had made it _pretty fucking clear_ where he stood on the idea of there being a 'them'.

She wanted to burn her gaze into him so that he might remember where it was that he defined their relationship.

"Do we have an understanding?"

She could tell by the way he snapped his teeth in reaction that they did not have an understanding. There was a sharp and feral quality to his gaze, that caused her to shiver under its weight. She was aware of the differences between her species and his. However, next to him and her hand firmly on his armor made her acutely aware of the challenge she was sending him. The room seemed suddenly too small and her face flushed slightly with heat.

He was handsome, and the animalistic side of her reveled in that fact. Shepard knew he could cause her some serious damage if they went toe-to-toe and she also knew she could harm him just as much. There was something lurking in those avian eyes of his that made her second-guess her want to browbeat him into his place.

Something… hot and wanting.

"Um… Shepard?"

Shepard turned toward the distressed looking Tali; for the quarian was wringing her hands.

"Is everything alright?"

Shepard plastered on a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. It was so false; it caused her cheeks to ache and her lips to burn at the sudden pull of her muscles.

"Of course." Her eyes snapped toward the blue visor that illuminated over Garrus' right eye. "Isn't it?"

He merely jerked his head once in agreement. His avian eyes watching her, calculating she was certain, as he often did with his calibrations.

She was so fucking sick of calibrations.

They hadn't had a decent conversation in days, and it made her more than a little irritated. She both looked forward to and dreaded their next conversation, though at the rate they were going it looked as if it would never occur.

A ping drew her attention away from her thoughts.

"Shepard," Tali drew in a sharp breath that caused the commander to become instantly alert.

"What it is Tali?" She brushed passed Garrus as if he didn't exist, and she was subconsciously aware that he took a miniscule step closer toward her. She heard a low rattle deep in his throat and could not waste time to decipher its meaning.

Her eyes scanned the message Tali had decoded with a great sense of fury burning hotly at the pit of her stomach.

"I fucking knew it," she stated in a roar worthy of any commander.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Thanks for your reviews. I'll be taking a little break from this story to work on some others, but please do not be alarmed. I am not abandoning anything. **_

_**Rated M, I own nothing. If you have time, please review.**_

OoOoOo

If charging through the Citadel on a near rampage skill could have been classified an art form, then Shepard was fairly certain that she would be among its greatest artists. Krogans aside. It did not bother her that she'd left Garrus and Tali in the dust, their proportionally longer legs never quite keeping up with the infuriated human. Nor did she appear particularly troubled when she jogged through the doors of the nearest elevator, jammed the button overly hard, and watched the doors slam shut in the faces of her two surprised teammates.

She wouldn't exactly say it didn't give her just a smidgen of pleasure either. All in all Shepard really did try not to lie to herself; so it wasn't being_ unkind_ so much as _honest_. Correct? '_Yes_', she thought sagely, '_that will work_.'

She tapped a foot impatiently out of pent-up nerves and just wanting to get this over with. If she'd just been able to exercise her Spectre status, this whole thing would have taken two hours… three tops. But, alas no, she just had to go hunting through the cracks of the citadel, shooting mercs, and dredging up things she didn't want to focus on.

It wasn't enough to ask her to deal with Reapers, the Council, and oh let's not forget the 'oh so charming' Illusive man. Fucker couldn't even spell 'elusive' right.

Her thoughts rambled and jumbled as she tried to focus herself for the shit-storm that was about to go flying in all directions. Yet, she found herself unable to block out the familiar elevator music and the pang of longing because she missed having Wrex around for a moment like this. The Krogan had the most tongue-in-cheek humor that Shepard simply adored.

That and she believed he would have enjoyed going up to the embassies with her and his favorite shotgun. They were both oddly perverse like that. Granted, Shepard hid it better. Not by much, she allowed gracefully, but enough that she had advanced through the Alliance military without her superiors knowing what idiots she thought they were.

She watched dispassionately as the doors opened, and her face was fixed in a fiercely determined look that caused nearby Asari to mumble uneasily around her. She stalked up the ramp toward the Earth Councilor's office, her boots echoing loudly in the hallway. A few curious glances were thrown her way by Turian C-Sec Officers. She pointedly ignored them.

The door to the office opened and revealed Councilor Anderson at his desk, his blue uniform neatly pressed. Her eyes went form him, and his surprised expression to the figure in the pompous white suit.

Udina. The one that had been behind the location set-ups of the black market gun deals.

"Shepard?" Anderson queried politely. "What are you doing here? I-"

In the time it had taken him to ask the question, Shepard had sprung up on the balls of her feet. She took three quick running steps, leapt up and pulled back her fist. She came down with force, letting the punch fly directly into Udina's face. His nose reacted like a geyser and crimson blood rushed from the injury. She watched in obvious satisfaction and he spun almost like a top and crumpled into a heap at her feet.

Anderson blinked and turned his chair toward Shepard, he had not bothered getting out of his seat.

"Something on your mind Shepard?"

She rubbed her fist absent-mindedly. "Oh, you could say that."

"I only ask because you seem… upset," he continued amicably.

"Upset?"

"Just a bit."

Shepard barked out a startled laugh. "I am a bit, I believe."

The Earth Councilor gestured to his advisor moaning on the floor and looked at her expectantly. "Care to fill me in?"

So she did. She had always respected Anderson. He was a damn fine soldier and he had always looked out for her. Even when others had cast her to the way side and it wasn't in his best interest to do so. For that, she had been forever grateful and would help him in any way she could. She told him about Chellick approaching her, leaving out the steamy bits because Anderson was like a father figure and her private life was no one's business, and about the lives lost combined with the heavy legal implications.

Anderson, to his credit, listed to every word she had to say. With each passing moment, he grew more and more angry.

"Sadly Shepard," he confided in her as Udina began to pick himself up off the floor. "There is little I can do. You found a connection, yes. But, we both know he had much deeper roots than either of us would like and friends in higher places than you can imagine. Hell, the only reason I'm even the councilor instead of him is because of you."

She winced at the honest reply. Movement drew her attention to the floor.

"He has his uses," Anderson continued, "Though I think it is time I put him back in his place. With a much tighter leash."

Udina glowered at them, pinching his nose to stem the blood flow.

'_Douchebag_,' Shepard thought angrily.

She didn't stop Udina as he ran form the room shouting obscenities and threats in her direction with Anderson trailing in his wake. It was not lost upon Shepard that Anderson's chest was puffed out in manner of Paternal pride. She smiled to herself.

It truly had been a solid punch.

The door opened again and Shepard couldn't stop her eyebrow from rising in surprise. She had only credited Udina with empty threats. The fact he might have actually returned with someone he thought could take on Shepard was both highly entertaining and dumbfounding.

Her surprise turned to annoyance when tell-tale blue armor came into view, accompanied by one very pissed looking turian.

'_Ah, Garrus has found me_,' she thought.

"Shepard," he stated lowly.

"Wrex," she quipped with a snarky smile.

"Ha ha. Very funny."

"I try," she replied mildly as she shrugged her shoulders. "How do you keep finding me."

The turian cleared his throat awkwardly, and looked down. "Turians have a… good sense of smell."

She blushed to the roots of her hair. She had forgotten she was 'scented' for a few moments of blissful time. Well, that had been enjoyable while it lasted.

"Was that Udina I saw running out of here with a bloody nose?" His mandibles quivered for a moment in honest curiosity and pulling her from her train of thought.

Shepard took the lull in their emotional storm and chose to answer him. "Yes, yes it was."

His avian eyes took in the room, the blood pooled slightly on the floor and Shepard's appearance with an all too keen eye.

"Did you need something?" She cocked her head to the side and felt much more at ease with some of her pent up emotions released physically. "Where's Tali?" She looked past him toward the door, not allowing him to answer.

Garrus blinked startled. He craned his neck in a true avian fashion toward the door. Shepard thought that odd. It was as if he had just noticed Tali were not with him.

"Uh," he started in a confounded manner, "she was right behind me… I thought."

Shepard found that both funny and strange, but decided not to comment on it for it would serve no purpose here.

"So yeah," she continued on conversationally, "Udina was linked with the black market arms deal. It turns out that he was taking a cut of the profits for turning a blind eye in the human sections. I think he plans on trying to over throw Anderson, but that's not going to happen if I have anything to say about it. I didn't leave him in charge for this exact reason. You know Donnel. Anything that gives the humans and himself a leg up, damn anyone else," she all but spat out the last part in firm distaste.

His face registered his disbelief and she almost snorted at him. He might not have seen Udina for the worm he was, but Shepard had sent many years trusting her life in the hands of herself and others. If her instincts said he wasn't worth the piss if he were on fire, chances were that he wasn't.

"Well, that certainly keeps things interesting," Garrus remarked off-handedly.

"Tell me about it."

The turian shifted uncomfortably. "I don't like this," he stated clearly.

She nodded her agreement. "I'm not a fan of it either. Udina needed to be knocked down a peg or eight. Unfortunately he won't get punished nearly enough to suit me-"

"That's not what I meant, but that too," he interrupted in a tight voice.

She blinked. "Oh, what did you mean?"

"I don't like this rift between us. It's not…right," he fumbled awkwardly for the word.

In some respects, she understood he was correct. They couldn't be at odds and out saving the galaxy. She needed Garrus at her back to protect her six when situations got rough. She also needed him as a friend and sounding board on tactics or missions as things presented themselves. However, she had been pulled in all different directions at once and frankly; she was running out of energy to deal with all the side missions that came along with trying to destroy the Collectors. Hell, she didn't even want to think about what would be required to get the Reapers. They were still an ever-present threat and never far from her thoughts.

Yet, she was not willing to be stepped all over and have her affections smashed repeatedly to make everyone else happy. She wasn't that much of a martyr.

Garrus walked toward her slowly, and cautiously, as if she would leave again if he came to close. The action caused her heart to throb painfully in her chest. There was intent in his eyes that she couldn't quite read, their species barrier being what it was. He reminded her for a moment of Septimus, but he looked so very unsure.

"There is something I have been meaning to talk to you about," he jerked his head once in a nod, as if even bringing the words up caused him some nervousness.

Shepard braced herself for anything under the sun to come out of his mouth.

"You asked me once, well… more than once, what was going on with me." His jaw clacked as he clenched it shut and alien eyes zeroed in on her. "I think I finally have an answer for you. And, I know now isn't the perfect time, but the way things are going between us I might not get a second chance."

She hadn't been expecting that.

"Shepard," he warbled with his double-harmonic voice edged in pain. It caught her attention and though she did not want to, she turned to face him. Patiently, she placed her hands behind her back and waited. Garrus drew a shaky breath and rubbed the back of his neck for a moment in agitation. "You don't understand what it's like."

She blinked at him before sighing. "Yes, you've said that before," she muttered acerbically.

"No," he corrected harshly, "No. It's not… it's just… you."

"Me?" She stood straighter in indignation. "What's so awful about me? You didn't seem to mind so much when I was pulling your ass out of the fire-"

Garrus clenched his taloned hands in frustration. "That's not what I meant. Spirits I am getting this all wrong!" He walked toward the nearest balcony, and Shepard watched him in confusion laced with hurt.

She gingerly took a few steps closer toward him, one hand reflexively reached for his arm before she could think better of it. Garrus didn't turn, but looked down at where her hand was touching him.

"You were dead Shepard. _Dead_. I know it seems like a stupid thing to ask, but do you get that? You were there, and vibrant. So very… everything that I respected. There is no one in this galaxy I respect more than you. Everything I…" He turned his face away even further, causing him to shift slightly to the left. "Valued," he stated after a moment's pause. "You were my commander. My friend. Someone I… we've been through a lot. Even two years ago. When I heard that you died, it hurt. It nearly destroyed me."

Shepard noticed his talons bit into the railing of the balcony with a great deal of force as he clenched his hands tighter.

"It hurt so much that I had failed."

"Failed," her voice was soft but firm in recitation.

His eyes closed briefly and his mandibles pulled tight in remembered grief. "I had failed to protect you. If I had _been _there, maybe you wouldn't have died. Maybe I could have gotten Joker off the ship sooner and we all could have huddled together in the damn escape pod. I would've… you have always helped me Shepard. I'm not foolish enough to think otherwise. First with taking me to bring down Saren, saving me from certain death countless times including those mercs on Omega, and now with Sidonis," he bit out the name as if it still offended him greatly.

"Garrus," Shepard said softly. It made her heart heavy just to watch him be so vulnerable. In a moment like this the great Commander did not know what to say. And, the woman wasn't much better off. "I-"

"You've always been there," he continued on seemingly lost in his thoughts. "_Always_. But, when you died; suddenly you weren't there. You were just gone. I kept going forward, like you always did and ended up costing so many people their lives. Then just a suddenly, you were back. You were charging up the bridge on Omega in my scope and I couldn't trust my eyes. I thought all those hours fighting for my life had finally caused me to crack. But it was you, holding out your arms and so happy to see me. I-"

When he had begun to tremble, Shepard leaned her head against his shoulder in an unspoken gesture of comfort.

"Spirits! Even now you're trying to comfort me and I'm…"

"With Tali," she finished softly, and it pained her to say the words. They tasted leaden and cold on her tongue. They were both foreign and not.

He snapped his gaze to look at her, the shock of her words translating through his face plates and widened mandibles. His normally sharp gaze seemed to mellow out to a soft look of something she couldn't quite place in a turian. Concern? Sadness? Understanding?

"Shepard," he warbled softly as if she were something infinitely precious, "there is something I need to tell you-"

"Commander Shepard," Chellick's voice cut across the tender moment like a dull serrated knife. "By order of C-SEC, you are under arrest for battery and assault against advisor Donnel Udina."

"Ambassador," Udina hissed angrily.

Shepard spared the man a raised brow in mocking question. Her eyes turned toward Anderson who was doing his best to hide his smile as he stood behind the C-SEC officer trailed by Udina.

"I don't think that will be necessary Detective Chellick," Anderson said dryly, "Commander Shepard was acting on my orders."

Shepard gloated slightly.

Udina gaped in outrage. "How dare you!" His vehement gaze landed on Shepard. "You'll pay for this! Do you hear me? You'll pay!"

"What are you going to do? Kill me?" Her manner was relaxed and a touch sarcastic.

"I believe it is time for _advisor_ Udina to make himself useful," Anderson cut in forcefully. "Get out of my sight. I'm sure you can find some paperwork around here that needs doing. We will be having a talk, you and I, in a moment."

Chellick observed the pair, and Shepard knew that this might cause him discomfort to see her with Garrus in this manner. However, she couldn't really dredge up the effort to look guilty or chastised. Truth be told, she wasn't with anyone. So there wasn't a single reason for her not to be by Vakarian's side.

The detective flared his mandibles to show his impressively sharp teeth, and a low rumbling emanated from his chest. Shepard could only surmise that he was upset. His avian eyes locked with Garrus'.

Shepard swallowed the hot lump in her throat. Her head tilted down a fraction and she took a slow deep breath. She'd cleared everything up for Chellick, but she doubted it would go anywhere. Udina was a slippery little bastard with far too many connections to actually implicate him outright. Though Anderson was a fair man, he didn't have the luxury of incarcerating Udina right now. Shepard knew this would simply all disappear into the woodwork.

Fucking hell.

She could already guess the number of files that were encountering an 'unrecoverable error' right about now.

"Oh by the way, before I forget, Ms. Vas Neema is looking for you," Chellick stated coolly before giving a self-satisfied grin. "You wouldn't want to keep her waiting."

Shepard reacted as if someone had struck her. She pulled away from Garrus, and shot Chellick a look that would have castrated a lesser turian. Yet, she refused to show weakness for long. She nodded cordially at his words and walked passed him in an effort to save some face in front of these males.

Garrus' words echoed in her ears long after she had stepped into the elevator to return to the Normandy.

"No, I wouldn't want to do that, now would I?" His words had been soft, confused, and full of self-loathing just the same as when he had confided in her about his team.

Shepard blinked back the moisture in her eyes, blaming it on the different climate in the Citadel. She had done one task, now it was down to finding Sidonis and giving Garrus his peace of mind. Then she was going to fling everything she had at the Collectors.

She was the first human Spectre, what did she have if not someone threat to fight?

The answer in her head was astoundingly hollow.


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you so very much to those that take the time to review. I know it is an extra step and takes some time, but I truly appreciate it. For those that have been chomping at the bit, you do get some touching dialogue in this chapter.**

**And now…. Onto the story.**

**I own nothing.**

OoOoOo

It turned out the Collector ship really couldn't wait. Or at least, that was the line Shepard fed the rest of the crew. Astoundingly, for the most part they all complied without complaint. Well, with the exception of Joker who had taken to quoting 'Lost in Space' and shouting 'Danger Will Robinson!' whenever she walked past.

It had gotten old quickly.

So when they had arrived at the disabled Collector ship, Shepard had stared at him until Joker had shrunk back and fiddled with his controls. He smirked a little as she nudged him, carful not to cause him harm.

"Don't scratch my baby while I'm gone," she told him seriously before strutting off toward the shuttle.

"Hmph," Joker muttered, "It's my ship if anything!" He called out to her retreating figure, while turning back toward EDI's place in the ship. "She knows that. She's just still upset that the Normandy always loved me better."

"It is a ship Jeff. Incapable of loving."

"What would you know," he groused half-heartedly.

OoOoOo

They crept through the halls, Shepard's finger itching and the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. Years on the battle field and in dangerous situations had honed her ability to sense danger. This place was damn near crawling with it. Her visor provided some protection from her squad seeing the concern she was never able to quite keep out of her eyes. If there was anything Shepard hated more than going into a trap, it was being lied to about going into a trap.

That illusive bastard had set them up; she could just _feel_ it already. She didn't like surprises especially when her ass was on the line. She liked her ass just where it was and not shot full of holes.

A clank echoed to her left, and she twirled landing into a defensive position with her gun already leveled at the intended target. Shepard narrowed her eyes as nothing was there. She glanced to her squad which seemed ill at ease. She honestly couldn't blame them. This place was what did Joker call it? Yeah, 'creepy as fuck', it did have an appropriate ring to it.

Samara nodded to her, and went off to scout the next room. She had Thane at her back. In all honesty, Shepard was rather impressed by the quiet assassin. Perhaps it was due solely to his skill, or it was the fact that he kept his nose out of her damned business. Unlike some people.

"Hey, uh…. Commander?"

She touched her ear piece, softly hissing a reply. "What is it Joker?"

"You're not going to like this," he broached carefully, "remember that problem we've talked about?"

"Damn it Joker. How many times have I told you not download Salarian and Hanar Porn? You know that bogs down the processers and last time a virus spread through your omni-tool effecting-"

"No! It's… uh… it's not that Commander." He coughed uncomfortably and Shepard could almost hear him blushing.

Whoops.

"Joker," she sighed heavily to cover up a little embarrassment at having ousted Joker accidentally. "I'm a little preoccupied here. Why don't you just tell me what's going on?"

Thane stepped closer toward her, offering at tad ore cover while she was distracted, his eyes trained to move around the room continuously appraising possible threats.

"I'll just let EDI tell you."

She rolled her eyes, and wondered when it would be too soon to tell Joker he was whipped by a AI program.

"Shepard," EDI's mechanical voice filtered through clearly, "I have compared the ship's EM signature with known Collector profiles."

She did not like where this was going. The sense of dread which had been pooling steadily in her stomach rose up to flow through her veins. Shepard silently cursed and started to switch out ammo. She had the feeling she would need something that packed a hell of a lot more punch.

"It is the vessel you encountered on Horizon."

There it was, that fury that had seen her through countless battles and near death situations. Barring of course, the one time she had actually died. Shepard grumbled under her breath that she had at least died content that time. With all this trouble stirred up with Garrus, Chellick, Grizz, and Septiums- Dear God she needed less turians in her life- that she would not be so fortunate this time.

She could feel Thane tense behind her, she took a steadying breath and opted to react as a leader ought. To keep her squad calm and focused.

"Perhaps the defense tower softened it for the Turians," she stated thoughtfully though she knew she was lying through her teeth. She quite literally was as her teeth were close to the point of gnashing, so she clenched them to steady herself.

"It may contain the Colonists," Thane warbled in his throaty tones which Shepard had always found intriguing.

She highly doubted it, but it was her duty to look for them. And, if luck were on her side or an incredible amount of ammo, free the colonists or die trying.

Samara returned from the next room looking as poised and elegant as always. Shepard smiled ruefully, '_some people_,' she thought wryly, '_have all the grace. While the rest of us have the aim_.'

They continued to prowl quietly through the eerie and seemingly abandoned Collector vessel. Shepard learned more than a few things that turned her stomach. Like the fact the Protheans had been altered and turned into slaves. Or, oh she could also name… the fact they were targeting Earth. Shepard's mind spun with tactics that could help or possibly be utterly useless. She quickly tallied up how many deaths might be expected and the number was staggering at best.

She had to warn Earth. She had to warn the Alliance and the Council. Though she understood plainly working with Cerberus would be to her detriment, it would mean the certain destruction of every advanced living thing if she did not try her hardest. This when one was speaking of her, was actually pretty damned hard she admitted.

The reached a center console down a stretch of walkway. That was when her day went from horrible to 'why the fuck do I even bother?'.

They had stepped onto a platform when a new discussion with EDI sent Shepard over the edge. Well, it hadn't been much of a discussion, but Shepard's danger sense when haywire when she felt the platform jolt under her feet.

"Oh Hell," she hissed, her eyes snapping toward Thane and Samara. "Get ready," she stated grimly. "Joker! What just happened?"

"A major power surge. Everything went dark, but we're okay."

"Shepard," EDI stated mechanically, "I managed to divert most of the overload into non-critical systems. This was not a malfunction, it was a trap."

She'd called it. Shepard swung her gun out, her warp ammo slowing faintly as the gun registered active use. She gripped the stock tightly, and waved the others to get into their standard positions. The platform swirled under their feet.

"We need a little help here EDI," she snapped out her eyes narrowed and her body poised to strike. Because everyone loved having their backs against the wall and facing an unknown enemy.

"I am having trouble maintain connection," the AI replied, "there is someone else in the system,"

A pregnant pause filtered through while Shepard spotted another platform racing toward them from off in the distance.

"Connection reestablished. I need to finish the download before I can override any systems."

"Then get it done fast EDI," Shepard stated almost calmly as the first shots rang out from her side, offering suppressive fire as Thane and Samara surged forward to better cover.

"Shepard!" Her head turned slightly as a familiar voice filtered through the sounds of combat.

"Garrus, I'm a little busy… Enemy!" She shouted to warn Thane, he was close to being flanked. Shepard leapt over her cover and raced forward with shots blazing. Two husks plummeted an unknown height off the platforms their growls and snarls ringing in her ears. More Collectors were to her right.

"Damn it Shepard! You should have taken me with you," the Turian hissed out with his voice warbling.

"Next time Vakarian," she bit out, as a shockwave grazed right passed her, but knocked Samara to the ground. Shepard waited until she was up and glowing with a strong Biotic aura before focusing her attention back on the Collector's while blocking out the threats of Harbinger.

"You could get hurt," he snapped into the channel. Shepard could practically hear his plates shifting in agitation.

She frowned as she took aim on her next target, watching dispassionately as the round entered and exited through the Collector's skull. Former Prothean. Whichever, it was still dead.

"I'm a big girl Vakarian," she huffed in response. "I can load my own gun and everything," her sarcasm dripped from her words like a fine poison.

He made a chocked sound and Shepard chalked that up to her wining the argument. She narrowed her eyes as more husks seemed to be popping out of the next enemy platform like freaking daisies.

"On your left," Samara called out, and Shepard pivoted bringing the gun up firing six shots in rapid succession. Then she was down, behind cover and reloading. Her fingers were slightly blood slicked from being winged by one of the Collectors. She cursed, evaluated it as not needing medi-gel at this point, wiped her hands on her armor and stood up again to press forward.

"Shepard," he growled again, causing her to shiver out of pure reaction.

Damn him. She had to focus. Shepard pushed him out, she pushed out any uncertainty, any hesitation. She thought only of surviving to the next breath. Thane dropped a husk to her right, and she gave him a nod of acknowledgement.

"Shepard you could get hurt if I'm not there to save you." Garrus stated seriously.

"Garrus, I'll be fine. But, I am sort of getting _shot at_ right now. You think this can wait until later?" Shepard bit out acerbically.

"No," he growled lowly, "we are going to talk about this."

She tossed a spare clip to Thane who reloaded promptly, before disappearing behind a bloody haze of Collector blood. She really thought he added just a smidge to much flair to this, but then again she was just a soldier.

"We need to talk about us."

Shepard blinked, the last of the threats having fallen dead at their feet, as she waited for the latest platform to arrive. She could see it in the distance. She jammed another clip in, shook off the blood once more that dripped down her hand. Her mind however, stalled at the last sentence.

"Now?" She asked incredulous. "I'm getting shot at on a Collector ship after being led into a trap by the Illusive man…. And you want to talk about 'us' _now?!_"

Samara had the grace to turn away, Thane pretended to be far more interested in the approaching targets than she'd ever seen him. Shepard cleared her throat, it was borderline painful.

"Garrus," she whispered softly, "can we talk about this later."

"I don't want to talk about it later. Spirits Shepard! Don't you get it?!" His shouting had increased, and she winced at the volume.

"No!" The word burst out of her mouth before she could stop it. Because this was slightly ridiculous for him to think that he could just waltz around and pull this shit-

"I care about you Shepard," he ground out lowly.

She shot at the next platform before it attached, landing a hit at center of mass on the husk. "Vakarian," she all but hissed out, "we've known each other for a few years now. We've been squad mates through some pretty horrendous stuff and… mother fucker!"

"What?" He sounded startled.

Shepard caught herself before she tumbled to the floor, reaching blindly for the medi-gel and fumbling to apply it to a flesh wound that had appeared in her upper thigh. She cursed herself for getting distracted.

"I've been hit."

"I'm coming down there."

"The hell you are Vakarian, I'm fine. Now, if you don't mind I need to get back to killing the Collectors trying to capture me."

"Shepard," his voice was slightly hoarse and it caught her attention and completely wiped the irritation from her. She hunkered further down behind cover, and eyed the closest threat. "If you… if you don't come back… I… I'll."

Her eyes widened, and her heart felt as if it were hammering in her chest. Samara yelled the all clear as she crushed the last Collector and Shepard watched the former threat tumble lifelessly off the platform.

"You?" Her brow drew together in confusion and that bastardized sensation of Hope which never got her anywhere except further into a bottle of booze.

"You need to come back safe because I…" she heard him draw a shaky breath before his turian training kicked him. "You are the finest commander I have ever known.

"Oh," she replied steadily, but misery was spreading in her chest.

"And, Shepard… I need you." He stated softly.

Shepard felt her head snap up, her cheeks flushing with surprise and that same warm feeling Garrus always brought whenever she thought about him for a long time.

"I have regained control of the platform Shepard," EDI pinged neutrally. Shepard shook herself and cleared her throat trying to look as professional as possible.

Shepard closed her omni-tool and stared at the blue image of EDI. "I knew you wouldn't let us down EDI."

"I always work at optimal capacity," she informed Shepard.

Shepard quirked a brow at what she thought was a smug sounding AI. She could have been wrong, but she doubted it. "Did you get what we needed?" She pressed slightly impatiently.

"I found data that would help us successfully navigate the Omega 4 relay. I have also found the Turian distress call that served as the lure for this trap. The Collectors were the source it is… unusual."

Shepard narrowed her eyes balefully. "What are you getting at?"

"Turian emergency channels have secondary encryption." Shepard drummed her fingers against her weapon in agitation. "It is present, but corrupted in the message. It is not possible the Illusive man would believe it was genuine."

Of course that bastard was somehow involved. He was fast becoming the bane of her existence. "Why are you so sure?"

"I found the anomaly with Cerberus detection protocols," EDI seemed hesitant to even mention these lovely facts. "He wrote them."

Joker's confused voice floated over the channel. "He_ knew_ it was a trap?"

Shepard knew. She knew with a certainty the Illusive man had known. She had known something was wrong the instant she'd set foot in this hell hole. Why wasn't she surprised?

"That son of a bitch sent us right into Collector hands," she snarled in outrage.


	16. Chapter 16

**An: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! And, now… warning this chapter contains Smut. Also, any constructive criticism on the cross species nookie would be helpful. Thank you **

**I own nothing.**

OoOoOo

Shepard limped back aboard the _Normandy_. Her spectacular flying leap that would've put the most seasoned ballet dancer to shame had left her with a pulled muscle on her already wounded thigh. Small splotches of bright red blood trailed in her wake. It stained her armor and caused her more than a slight amount of lightheadedness. She bit back a groan as she imitated Joker all the way down to the Med Bay.

"Do not worry Shepard," EDI chimed in with her synthetic voice sounding almost _concerned_, "I will have this mess cleaned up shortly."

Though it was meant in kindness, Shepard supposed, it still irked her slightly. She'd get right on trying to hold the blood _in._ '_Heaven forbid I dirty a Cerberus ship! How will I ever forgive myself_,' she thought waspishly.

"Thanks EDI," she grumbled lowly trying in vain to keep the irritation and pain out of her voice.

With more force than she'd intended, she pressed the elevator button to see Dr. Chakwas. The concerned looks of her away squad did nothing to lighten her mood, and she scowled for good measure. This was turning into more of a pain in the ass than she'd first thought. Oh, she'd understood this wasn't going to be an easy go stop Saren like mission. No, this was just straight from fucking hell with a dash of cosmic 'bend over here it comes again' thrown in.

"Shepard," EDI interrupted as she waited impatiently for the elevator, "The Illusive man wishes to speak to you."

Shepard looked up sharply. "EDI, I want you to make a recording for the Illusive man."

"Ready, Shepard."

With an overly exaggerated grin, Shepard lifted a middle finger directly to one of the many cameras installed to spy on her and the crew.

"Did you wish to say anything, Shepard?" EDI queried neutrally.

"No, no," she said feeling better, "I think that conveys my end of the conversation quite nicely."

'_Asshole,'_ she hissed mentally as the elevator arrived sporting one very tense looking Turian. '_I've done something to piss you off in a past life, haven't I?'_ she prayed for patience and another hole to rip in the ship.

Well, maybe just the first one.

She watched his mandibles open and she help up a single finger to stop him. "Vakarian," she stated in a tone that allowed no room for argument, "I'm injured. I'm bleeding, I've been betrayed which really isn't all that surprising, and I have one hell of a headache. If the next words out of your mouth aren't 'Shepard I've found a way to destroy the Collectors and therefore the Reapers', I'm going to do something not so very nice with my foot and any orifice of yours that would illicit the most pain."

Garrus clacked his jaw shut. Shepard hobbled into the elevator with Thane and Samara close behind her. No one said a word as it descended to the third level. Shepard stole a glance or two out of the corner of her eye at Garrus. He was tense, with his back perfectly straight… a bad sign. She could tell he was displeased by the way he clicked his teeth and mandibles. Also, his eyes kept wandering over her with an intensity she couldn't quite read. And, her heart rate was up more than slightly. With the adrenaline leaving her system and the echoes of his words ringing in her ears; Shepard was going to do the only adult thing she could think of at the moment.

Drop it and leave it alone until she was clear headed.

With a curt nod of dismissal, she exited as soon as the doors opened and lurched her way toward the only Doctor aboard the ship. Dr. Chakwas wasn't pleased to see her in such a state. The older woman was even less pleased when the details of the Illusive Man's role were divulged between pained gasps as Chakwas cleaned her wound. There were some more creative curses thrown in for good measure.

After more than a few minutes of borderline torture, which the good doctor had the nerve to call 'healing', Shepard walked away albeit slower than normal to her cabin. Another long elevator ride and she was at her door looking at it as if it were the Holy Grail.

"Shepard the Illusive man still wishes to speak to you."

"EDI," she said nearly in a hiss, "I'm going to sleep now. Unless someone is dead, dying, being turned into a husk, or sends me an urgent message that _cannot possibly wait_… I don't want to be disturbed for at least the next six hours."

"Understood Commander, logging you out," the AI said respectfully.

With a snort of satisfaction, Shepard proceeded into her cabin. The bed called to her with a sweetness far greater than any Siren's song. Her hands scrabbled toward the clasps of her armor, and she let each piece drop with a pleasant 'thump' to the floor. She sat heavily on the bed and pulled off her boots. Each felt like they weighed a good twenty pounds after all the running and gunning she had just been through.

A sigh of delight escaped her pink lips as crawled and then wiggled under the covers. Only the light of the fish tank and her alarm clock gave a gently glow to the room as she closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and turned on her side, ready to embrace the arms of Morpheus.

"Commander," EDI's holographic form popped up near the entrance of her cabin.

"GOD DAMMIT!" She shouted in frustration, growling as she pushed herself to a sitting position.

"I'm sorry Commander, but you did specify that if a message was marked 'urgent' that you were to be-"

"Thank you EDI," she snarled and threw the covers off.

Stumbling and irritated she moved with deadly intent toward her desk, pausing only to wonder briefly if she could just toss the lot out of the air lock. She jabbed at the console viciously, and noted it was a message marked 'urgent' with a link. She authorized the channel and waited. A soft being could be heard and then she was staring into the dark plates of General Septimus.

"Ah, Shepard it's good of you to…," his eyes flickered over her rather obviously undressed appearance, "is this a bad time?" His voice held amusement, and his mandibles widened.

Shepard closed her eyes for a brief moment of mortification before she cleared her throat. "Just got off a mission and I wasn't expecting a Vid conference," she replied dryly.

"So I see," his teeth gleamed as he gave a Turian smile, "though, I must admit this is one of the most pleasant vid conferences I've ever had."

Despite herself, she laughed. Suddenly, she felt far more at ease with the retired Turian General. "What can I do for you?"

His avian eyes languidly looked down her form and Shepard felt flattered as well as embarrassed. "That is a rather loaded question," he cocked his head to the side, "isn't it?"

"You sent a message to me," she pointed out plainly, "and you said it was urgent."

He inclined his head, "That may be, but it's not nearly as engaging." He flashed her another glimpse of his sharp teeth and it was plain to see he was enjoying this.

"General," she chastised lightly with her lips twitching with the urge to smirk. He was a smooth talker when he wanted to be.

"Hm?" His eyes held her gaze for a moment, before he gave in. "I have some unusual reports pouring in from one of the Terminus systems I thought might be of interest to you."

"And that required a vid conference?" She asked in genuine confusion with her arms crossing over her midsection.

"Not really," he admitted without shame, "but I am very glad I did it now." His voice rumbled lowly, and caused her to feel a stab of desire. It was a good feeling, to be wanted. She had the urge to give a little more of herself to this flirting. To push the cares and worries away just for a few precious moments.

"Well, I'll be happy to receive those reports," she said professionally, "and thank you for bringing them to my attention." She made a move to disconnect the line when he interrupted.

"Shepard," he rumbled lowly, his mandibles stretched in an obvious grin. "You're as tense as a spring, and close to snapping, by the looks of you," his avian gaze pierced her, and she felt herself flush.

This was decidedly not how she envisioned talking with General Septimus again. Awkwardly, she cleared her throat and discreetly tried to stop her face from showing the desire she felt. Perhaps, she had been a touch too long without companionship. It had only been… well… a very long time actually. Saving the galaxy and everyone clamoring for her to do things for them-which sent her on even more death-defying trips than she cared to count- hadn't left a lot of room to even talk with someone let alone take them to her bed. She also thought out her actions carefully, so sleeping with a random stranger had never been her style. She'd had her fair share of romantic encounters, there was no mistaking that, but she wasn't anybody's one night stand.

"General, I-"

"Please Shepard, call me Septimus," he purred softly.

Her gaze flickered to the side of the screen for a moment. "Septimus," she compromised slowly, "I think your offer is very compelling, but it's… complicated," she winced internally because she still hated that damn word.

His mandibles fluttered in open amusement, but his eyes were so achingly sincere she paused. "Shepard, I know about your intendeds. And, while it's true that I don't know all the details, I hope you can look to me as a friend." She watched him lean closer to his screen. "This would only be some stress relief between friends. If it makes you uncomfortable, we can stop at any time." His gaze clouded with a touch of affection and lust. "Just say the word."

And, she wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to say yes. Or maybe she wanted to say no, but the word wouldn't form in her mouth and before she understood what she wanted; she nodded.

"Wonderful," he rumbled commandingly, and Shepard's legs quivered at the sound. It was so blatantly wanton. She watched as the console blipped for a secure channel, and the surrounding behind him changed as he went to another room. At least, that's what she thought she could make out. "I think I'll join you in bed, " he commented lightly.

She didn't even know she was moving until she was transferring her omni-tool to the secure line, shutting down the console to sprint across the room and lay down in her own bed; already hot and wanting.

Shepard felt her mouth dry and her pulse quicken. Her body needed to remember this feeling. She needed to feel more than pain, exhaustion, and the phantom memories of the cold vacuum of space. Feeling both silly and slightly naughty, she rolled onto her back, keeping the screen in front of her face. Soon, Septimus was back and Shepard was nearly trembling in anticipation.

He gave her a very nearly roughish smile, with his too sharp teeth gleaming. "Tell me about your skin," his dual harmonic voice caressed her ears gently, "I have always been curious."

Shepard fought to control the blush on her cheeks. Her first sexual experience with an alien and he wanted to know about her skin. It was both enticing and rather unobtrusive. The question was enough to put her slightly more at ease.

"I'm sure you've shaken hands with a human or two," she retorted coyly.

"You're correct, I have. Are you telling me you're that soft all over?" His faceplates shifted into disbelief and an honest curiosity.

"Even softer," she all but purred enticingly, "our hands are usually toughened because we develop calluses on them with repetitive friction." Her voice lowered against her will and the innuendo stood clear between them.

"I'm beginning to think I was crazy for skipping over humans in favor of the Asari."

She laughed throatily for a moment.

"I want to see you," his eyes were as intense as his voice, and she felt a rush of desire pool in her loins.

She sucked in a breath, more than a little timid that this might turn into some horrible moment where her body was far to alien from even the Asari. She gathered the remnants of her courage and panned the omni-tool's screen down so he could see the length of her.

If the low growl in the back of his throat was any indication, he approved of her form just fine. She tried to quell the question that floated through her thoughts if Garrus would have approved as well. Mercilessly, she squashed the question. This wasn't about him. This was about her and Septimus. It was about finally getting some much needed release and feeling wanted again for more than just being Commander Shepard… hero of the Citadel.

"Tell me what you like," he rumbled the command and part of her reacted instinctually to years of taking orders. It was the ingrained military response at its finest. She might be a leader in every other aspect of her life, but behind closed doors, she was just a woman aching for the touch of a male.

Her fingers danced coyly on the outside of her underwear, her face flaming. "I like being touched," she confided softly, "touched like I matter. Like I drive my partner wild and they need me desperately."

His breathing was coming across heavier over the screen, and she closed her eyes for a moment to imagine it hot on her neck. His mandibles teasing the tender flesh there. "I like when someone nips my neck," and he growled at the admission.

"Spirits Shepard," his mandibles flared in a silent show of unrestrained desire. "If I were there I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of you. Your soft skin, and the way you look with you lips parted. That blush on your cheeks… I bet your scent is indescribable."

She half-moaned in reaction to his words. Her fingers slowly traveling down to her womanhood, intent on easing some of the building ache in her loins. "I smell like combat right now," she whispered, "that's hardly sexy."

His eyes narrowed to near slits and she could make out a pant as his arm moved off screen. "You're wrong," he warbled in uneven tones, "that makes you even sexier." His mandibles fluttered briefly, "Knowing you could be a real challenge and take down someone when needed. It makes you respectable and that by any turian's standards is…" he broke off into a gruff keen.

Shepard's fingers were rubbing in circles over her sensitive nub, eliciting moans and pants of her own.

"I've heard humans enjoy penetration, is that true?" His markings stood out starkly against his face as his plates shifted into emotions of pleasure.

"Ye-yes," she gasped softly. Her hand moved to slip inside her underwear, just the thought of being filled causing another hot rush of lust to pool within her.

His eyes took on a slightly hooded look as he gazed at her face intently through the screen. "I want you to do that for me," he growled, causing her to shiver in response. "I can't be there to do it in person, so let me watch your face while you do it."

She felt vulnerable and somehow naked under his sincere gaze. She bit her lip and nodded as she pressed a finger inside herself. Feeling the smooth muscle and wetness. Her eyes couldn't hold his for all that long.

"Septimus," she moaned, sliding her legs upward.

"How many fingers are you using?" he half mewled at her, and the sound caused her to tighten involuntarily around her finger.

"One, just one," she panted, as she writhed on the bed.

"My fingers are larger than yours." He commented with his words getting rougher, and less refined. "Maybe you should use more than one."

She arched as she moved in time with her hand, slipping another finger into her folds.

His mandible widened in a grin. "You're breathtaking," he panted out harshly.

Shepard felt like the world was collapsing in on itself and she could almost tangibly feel her peak approaching. She keened and whispered compliments back to him she couldn't even make sense of. It was as if her body and mind were begging for some release from this sweet torment that he had coaxed her into.

"Let me see you Shepard," he purred commandingly. "Let me see you." His hand reached out to caress the screen softly, almost as if it were her face and Shepard cried out. Her climax caused her to chant. She moaned acceptance, his name, anything her hazy pleasure filled mind could think to say. The little bit of intimacy he had shown, in reaching for her image had forced a tidal wave of pleasure to crash across her body. Her slick finger plundered her depths over and over, and she distantly heard is thundering howl of approval.

At last, she shuddered to stillness, and her breathing slowly evened out. Shepard glanced shyly up at Septimus, who wore a self-satisfied smirk.

"Feeling less tense?" He trilled with genuine interest.

"Yes," she rasped out, "that's putting it mildly."

He gave a short bark of laughter. "Maybe you should get some sleep, Shepard. You look worn out."

"First, I'm breathtaking. Now I look worn out?" She mused aloud in a much happier mood than she'd been in previously.

"What can I say? I'm fickle." He chuckled warmly through the screen, and nearly reached out to touch her image again. "I'll send you those reports on the Terminus systems," he reminded her gently, "and Shepard?"

"Hm?" She was growing steadily sleepier, and tried to keep her lids from drooping.

"Maybe you should stop by the next time you reach the Citadel," he waggled a brow plate at her, "if you're feeling tense again."

"Good night Septimus," she laughed breathlessly and cut the communication.

Her dreams for the first time in a very long while, held more than disappointment.


	17. Chapter 17

**An: thank you for all the reviews. Now ladies and gentlemen, buckle up for some Garrus and Shepard resolution.**

**I own nothing.**

OoOoOo

She woke slowly and in stages. Her limbs still ached, but it was dulled by the sleep and medi gel. Shepard stretched lazily, and opened an eye blearily to read the time on her alarm clock. It was well passed time to rise and get something to eat if the grumble from her stomach was any indication. With her first real smile in days, Shepard crawled out of bed and looked for a change of clothes. She padded with bare feet over to the shower.

Ah, one of the few perks of being the Commanding officer was a private shower. Leisurely she took her time, and gently scrubbed away the grime from her body. She would need to change the sheets, because she hated the idea of sleeping in dirty ones. Even though she was used to worse conditions than slightly soiled sheets, it had been a preference from back in her childhood and she kept to it to this day.

Sighing with the pleasant feeling of cleanliness, Shepard stepped out of the shower taking care not to leave very large puddles. She wrapped a towel around her form and hurriedly dried off. Her hair was still wet as she forced it with a brush into submission. Absently, she noted that she would need to cut it soon. It was almost getting to long for Alliance regulation. Even though the Alliance technically had nothing to do with her right now, years of compliance had lent her toward favoring her shorter hair in combat.

And, there appeared to be no lack of combat in the future.

She dressed and brushed her teeth, taking joy in feeling somewhat human again. She tied up her boots and opened her cabin door toward the elevator. Only to be greeted by the familiar azure markings and amicable Turian she'd been trying to forget.

"Shepard," he greeted cautiously.

"Vakarian," she replied neutrally.

He opened his mouth to say something, but his mandibles fluttered and Shepard thought he was… smelling the air? His ice blue eyes narrowed on her face. He stalked forward slightly enraged. Shepard closed the door, and turned to face him once more.

"Have you been with someone?" He hissed and his movements became over exaggerated. "How could you do that? What possible motivation could you have for even considering-?"

"I am an adult Vakarian and what I choose to do in the privacy of my own bedroom is my business. No one else's," she responded firmly.

"That's a load of crap and you know it," he snarled in outrage.

"Is it? I'm not in a relationship with you. I'm not in a relationship with anyone," her eyes narrowed at him in challenge, "so what exactly gives you the right to barge in here and make moral decisions on my choices?"

"That's not the point Shepard."

"That's the only point I see." She tilted her head to the side. "Or are you looking for me to explain my reasoning to you?"

He sputtered indignantly, and Shepard had reached the end of her patience.

"What are you hoping I'm going to say?" She interrupted with open defiance. "What do you want me to say?"

Garrus clicked his mandibles angrily and growled low in his chest.

"You want to know why I sought comfort from someone else? You want me to tell you what it felt like to die?" She spat out with pure venom. "You want me to tell you what it felt like to wake up in a fucking Cerberus lab with Miranda's voice screaming at me because someone was trying to kill me? Kill me," she laughed hollowly without emotion, "something little more than a corpse already. You think I need to answer to you when I find out that the _only_ person willing to even go retrieve my body was Liara?! A woman who had to watch me kill her own mother, and then had the grace to forgive me when others would have put a bullet in my head as a thank you. It wasn't the Alliance which I severed faithfully, that came for me. Not the council which I sacrificed human ships to save. Not even my other friends. Just Liara, and a drell named Feron who didn't even know me. He helped because he cared about Liara."

At first he was shocked by her outburst but it faded quickly into a broken sound which fell from Garrus' mouth, as if he couldn't find the words to express his sorrow.

Shepard's eyes flashed with fury and the haunting memories of things long passed. "I'll tell you how it felt. It felt like no one gave a damn about me. That's how it felt. Knowing that I had a good, and what I thought was a loyal crew, yet not one of them stepped forward to find my body. And, only a few even agreed to help Cerberus after they found out I would be alive. Yet, even that felt like more of a middle finger to the Alliance than trying to help me save the _fucking galaxy ._ Instead they had a memorial placed in my honor that truly only was for me, and the messed up part? I knew the others died _Vakarian_. But they weren't honored the same way I was, because I was just such a good tool to use for humanity's convenience. I went to my death praying that I had bought the remaining crew just enough time or had distracted whatever the hell that ship was that blew mine apart; long enough that some would live. I died to save them, and only three cared enough to come back."

She ticked the fingers off in front of his face with menace. "Liara, Joker, and Dr. Chakwas."

The Turian trilled in obvious discomfort in the face of her rage and sorrow. His avian blue eyes locked on hers while his face plates shifted. Shepard could see that he had never thought of it this way, and had assumed like everyone else that she was fine.

Because she was always fine.

She gave a bitter snarl of disillusionment. "Do think you are the first person to lose a team? The _first_ or the _last_ to be betrayed Vakarian? Because you aren't, it's as old as god dammed time. I am sorry for what happened to your team. Don't think I'm unsympathetic. But if you ever tell me I don't understand again, I will personally wipe the floor with you." Her eyes glinted dangerously and the barely suppressed rage simmered to the surface. "I've lost men, a lot of _good_ men." Her arm swept back toward the door of her cabin. "I close my eyes at night and still see the faces of my men on Akuze. I lost 48. The 49th you saw with me when Cerberus was doing fucked up experiments on the poor soul. I hear their screams, and I remember all the people I have ever lost in my line of service." She drew herself up, the very picture of the dutiful soldier. "And I lived for years thinking that I was the only one to make it back alive. It tears at me to think I left a man behind because I didn't know he was alive. I live with that guilt, as I lived with the guilt of thinking I was the only one."

"You want to know how the Alliance described it on my dossier?" Crystalline tears escaped her eyes, a testament to her continued torment. "'During Commander Shepard's service, a mission under her assignment went horribly wrong. Trapped in an extreme survival situation, she had to overcome physical torments and psychological stresses that would have broken most people. She survived while all those around her fell, and now she alone is left of a unit that was slaughtered in a thresher maw attack on Akuze.'"

She pauses and eyes him. Garrus rumbles lowly in his chest, a sad sound and a shocked sound. Still, she relentlessly presses on. "Would have broken most people," a bitter chuckle escaped her lips parted into a sneer, "lucky, lucky me. I wasn't broken, so I wasn't Cat. Sixed out. Instead I was pushed hard to be the first human Spectre. An honor truly," the words are as hollow as her laugh, "an honor that the pursuit of led me to being in sync with a beacon that implanted in my memories the total destruction of a race."

"Have you ever felt a race die, Vakarian? Known in great detail the terror and utter hopelessness?"

"No," he replied quietly, reaching out to touch her shoulder. Shepard jerked away.

"Of course you haven't. I have. I have also been called upon to decide the salvation or destruction of two species. First with the Racchni, and then the Krogan." Her face twists and distorts in expressions that cannot be described adequately. "I made the call to spare them. I had to. To me there was no other choice, even when my most trusted squad mates, and friends clamored for their death."

Silence echoes between them for a moment, and she looks down at her feet. Her back is still impossibly straight and she falls back into the memories. "I couldn't help but think that if the Council in their positions of power had decided that humans were too violent a risk, that it could easily have been my species on the line. And no species is greater than another, or more deserving of a chance to live. I will have to accept whatever consequences come from my actions, and I will bear them as a solider ought."

"Shepard," he warbled sadly, "I never knew."

"Yeah," she gave a disheartened smile, "it's really easy not to know when you don't ask." She flicks her gaze up to see him flinch. "You were willing to walk into hell by my side, so you said. But all of you aren't telling the truth." She waved a hand toward the elevator. "Every one of you has asked me to earn your loyalty. Even though with some, I thought I had earned that long ago. Tali waved a fucking gun… in my face. I fought off a horde of mercs to get you back safely, and, let's not forget all the shit I've had to go through to get everyone from Jack to Grunt to cooperate." She rubbed a hand over her other arm in agitation. "All of you can't seem to focus on saving the fucking _galaxy_, every species, unless I literally put you before the largest threat anyone has ever known."

Garrus chirps, a hurt and soft sound.

"But not me," Shepard says without preamble, "not me. I'm expected to just jump in feet first for my crew. Take every punch, every blow or surprise and do it all with a smile. Or perhaps I'm just supposed to do it and be grateful that you're helping me at all?" Her tears are of frustration now as she continues with a shaky breath. "I've died once already to spare countless lives, and everyone else can't seem to put their social problems behind them. Mordin and the genophage? Fine that one made sense, even though that wasn't why we originally went to Tuchanka. Grunt needing to settle his rite in order to not tear himself apart in agitation? Alright, that seems needed. Tali had to be cleared of treason charges? Fine, I need quarian help anyway if the species are going to have a chance against the Collectors, and by proxy the Reapers. But tell me why I need to go chasing across space to solve familial disputes. Tell me Vakarian why everyone thinks these smaller matters are more important than countless lives. Or why their lives and problems matter more than mine."

"It's petty, I agree," she half-whispers to him with grief. "But I died, and the only person who even seemed genuinely happy to see me back from the land of the dead was Wrex. A Krogan who still trusts me, still thinks I am more than some Cerberus experiment. Do you want to know how much that stung?"

She looks at him with a mockery of a confused smile as she watches him continue to rumble what she can only assume is a soothing sound at her. "To have Kaiden tell me to my face that I'm a fucking traitor because I wear a different uniform? I always have been loyal to the Alliance and the Council. I have never disgraced my uniform or my fellow soldiers. I am not a traitor, and the worst part is, that I still would have saved him. Even if I had known he was going to practically spit on me. Do you have any idea what it is like to know that the people I trusted the most in my previous life, cast me so quickly aside?"

"I mourned you!" He shouted in the confines of the small space.

"You mourned me, but not enough to go look for my body," she levels a gaze at him and it is not judgmental merely factual, "not enough to throw yourself completely into this mission until I put you a head of every other life in the galaxy."

His mandibles tightened on his face, and they both know he has no response to her words that would sound anything but hollow.

"You want the truth Vakarian? I'm scared most of the time. I have feelings just like you and every other sentient life form. I worry, I love, I laugh, and I sure as hell can cry," she swipes the tears away angrily. "I'm not a dammed robot, and I can't push every feeling aside for duty. So, trust me when I say that I understand the want for revenge. I get it. But it also means that I get lonely as well. Humans are social creatures. So I sought comfort from the one being willing to give it. That is just how it went."

She shrugs her shoulders in a gesture of defeat. "And, yeah, it hurts that I always have to reach out to everyone else. I was separated on the SR1 because I was a Spectre candidate, and most people were too skittish to talk to me. So I found friends in you and the others. I had to leave a friend to die on Virmire. But then to be stuck with strangers and friends that treat me like a stranger is somehow infinitely worse."

Her eyes are filled with pain and regret. "But I had to push on, because I am a damn fine soldier and because other people are depending on me. I am not a saint Vakarian. No matter what you've told yourself. I never was and I never will be. I need companionship the same as any other. So if you've come up here to judge me for seeking some solace from constantly being asked of and never given to, then you can just march your ass right back to that elevator. I don't have time for it. I am a solider and whether you realize it or not, I am also a woman who needs more than the comfort of good decisions."

The Turian shifts uncomfortably, emotions crossing his face and his eyes filled with startled confusion. "I do need you Shepard."

She hugs herself tightly and tires to will back the urge to snap at him. "Because I am a good Commander, I know. Because I am the Hero of the Citadel, or Humanity's last hope or a thousand other titles that don't mean a damn thing."

Shepard feels her throat tighten. "Garrus," she says softly using his given name for the first time in a while, "I loved you for three years, and that has never been enough before." She shook her head ruefully, "I've laid everything else on the table, why hold back on this? You have Tali, and she is a good woman. You two could be very happy together." Her eyes close briefly in a flash of pain, because this is the right thing to do and they deserve the chance to be together. This is not another regret she wants on her plate. She had too much already. "Hell you might care about me, maybe just a little, but I can't do this to her. Or to you."

"You… love me?" His mandibles are wide in shock and his eyes are overly bright.

She looks at him unamused, "I've just ranted about how fucked up this whole situation is, and that is the only part you focus on?"

He drew closer, with his azure markings gleaming in the dim light. "Shepard, I never knew you felt that way."

She shook her head sadly. "There are a lot of things you don't know about me, and I don't expect you to ask or even to care. We are good teammates and I can keep it that way without incident. But you can't try and keep_ me_ when you don't even _want _me, Garrus. It's not fair."

"Not want you?" His eyes slid closed and when he opened them again they were filled with a sweet sadness. "Shepard, I need you to tell me something, and be honest."

She snorted in dry amusement at the thought that she could be anything but at this moment.

"Have I lost my chance with you?"

Of all the things she had expected from him, this was the last. Her heart thundered in her ears. "What?"

"Please tell me, I haven't lost my chance with you. Shepard, you are just about the only person I still trust in this screwed up galaxy. When you came to me that first time… I panicked. I thought there was no way you could know what you were saying. But then, when I saw Chellick with his hands all over you," he broke off to growl aggressively, "I nearly lost it. If we are being honest here Shepard, I hid."

"I don't understand," she voiced her confusion and disbelief softly.

"Tali and I, we were never together. I just… I'm not… good at saying how I feel. It's hard for me."

"Garrus," she whispered barely able to allow herself to hope, "do you care about me? Even a little?"

"I care about you," his avian eyes broke contact for a moment and he trilled awkwardly, "a lot more than I should. Good turians shouldn't feel this way about a human."

"I don't give a damn about other turians," she said heatedly, "just you."

His eyes locked on hers with desire clearly in the blue depths. Shepard expected him to grab her, but instead he moved closer and lowered his forehead to hers gently.

"So," he rumbled with a sly smile, "what you're saying is that I haven't lost my chance?"


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Thanks to all my reviewers. I appreciate that you take the time to drop me a line. I'm having major writer's block on this story. The next chapter will be longer, I promise.**

**Rated M. I own nothing.**

OoOoOo

Shepard pulled back, shoulders stiff and posture rigid. Her eyes were downcast as she reflected over the whirlwind of emotions coursing between them.

"I'm not saying that. At least, not exactly," she replied slowly with careful inflection on her words. "I'm willing to feel this out and see where it goes. I have a lot on my plate right now by anyone's standards. The last thing I need is to commit myself to a relationship that might be doomed to fail."

His mandibles clicked in open agitation, the shock prominent in his eyes as he looked at her. "But, I thought-"

"Everything I said," Shepard interrupted gently, "was true and will always be true. I do love you Garrus."

"But?"

"But we are two very stubborn people, and if we are being honest here, we both have the tendency to rush head first into things."

"It sounds pretty good to me," he throatily replied.

Shepard gave a short and awkward laugh. "Yeah, I guess it does. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not ready yet to trust what's between us."

"I don't understand," he said.

How could she explain it to him? How did one eloquently tell someone they were worried about what might happen? What if he loved the idea of 'Commander Shepard' and not the actual person? Could it ever work between them? Actually work? Would she die again leaving him all alone once more? Or would he die and she would be left to mourn him?

This wasn't easy for her. She'd had a more than a few relationships go down the drain thanks to her work. Thanks to her pride, temper, and other people's unrealistic expectations. Garrus did not appear to understand that he turned her life upside down in more ways than one and she was still trying to put things into perspective. She was a loose cannon where he was concerned and that could get someone killed, including him.

Yes, she wanted desperately to try and to trust him with her heart but she simply couldn't. Not yet, anyway. There needed to be time and some show of faith on his end this time around.

Shepard scratched absently at her arm, trying to sort out her thoughts. It shouldn't be this damned hard. It should be easy to tell him how she needed it to be. There was no time right now for Libo* and that left her hard pressed to deal with something as low on the priority list as her love life. Yet, it was not something that could be easily ignored if this turned out to be her last

First things always came first and nothing could be more vital to everyone's continued existence than stopping the Collectors. And, of course the Reapers, but Shepard would have to take out the main threat later. Right now colonists were disappearing at an alarming rate and the council she was sworn to protect despite her previous death, would not listen. And, there was still the fact that Shepard hadn't finished piecing together what Cerberus really wanted.

She took a deep breath, calming her nerves as she stared Garrus down. "We… if there is going to be an 'us' I need time Garrus. We have to go slow. So as of right now, we are more than Commander and subordinate. But, I'm not sure how much more."

He ducked his head a moment, blue eyes narrowed in thought. "Hm," he pondered for a moment before looking back up at her with predatory intent. "There is no one in this whole screwed up galaxy that I trust more than you Shepard. So hey… you want me to wait? I can do that."

She flushed slightly, not having had the guts to hope he'd understand. She nodded stiffly, and backed away slowly before she launched this 'slow' relationship into something much faster.

"Well, it's been longer than five minutes. I'm sure the galaxy is falling apart as we speak."

She laughed in spite of herself at his wit. Sadly, she was half-certain he was correct. She'd be dodging or taking bullets by the day's end. She was sure of it.

"It seems to make a habit of doing that," she quipped with some of her old fire returning to her eyes.

"It's scandalous, I know. It's a wonder anything managed to exist before you, Shepard," he quips giving her his best affronted look.  
>"Then I'd better go see who needs saving today. It's likely some Turian squad that can't shoot their way out of a wet paper bag."<p>

"A what?"

"Never mind," she replied with a slight smile. "Hey Garrus, maybe later we could talk about… whatever it is we have going on here? It won't be for a while… but…"

He rumbled in amusement. "Sure. But I might be in the middle of some calibrations."

Shepard pushed him into the elevator.

OoOoOo

It seemed simple enough to Shepard. She only wanted to grab a quick bite to eat and the cup of swill they had the nerve to call coffee. There was an old saying about coffee a spoon could stand up in, she was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be literal. Though much more questionable than the food on the SR1, Shepard choked it down like a good soldier. Or one that had been half-starved. She'd been missing a few meals here and there looking into a few of her side objectives.

And, sometimes, after being plastered in Collector blood she just wasn't all that hungry.

So, at first, she thought she was imagining it. There was a feeling of someone staring directly at her. Shepard inconspicuously took a look around and didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Cerberus personnel were chatting about various subjects ranging from missing family members to the latest game of Skillian 5. Her gaze traveled the length of the mess hall with some misgiving. The hair on the back of her neck was standing at attention. That normally meant someone was watching her, or about to attack her.

Shepard finished her meal that was "More food and less ass" for the most part. She calmly put her dishes with the other dirtied ones and continued back toward the elevator. The sensation of being watched did not abate. Shepard felt her right eyelid twitch in a physical response to anticipated stress.

It continued as she observed and read her new messages on the main deck. It continued as she checked in with Jacob to see how things were and it continued when she made her rounds in Engineering. It ceased when she stopped at the women's restroom, which was a relief and also all the more suspicious.

She took alternate routes around the ship, and turned quickly down a corridor to the starboard observation. Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of a scarred face with one messed up cranial-horn.

She was going to kill him.

Shepard whirled around and strode after Mordin with purpose. She caught the tail end of his note-taking.

"Spotted by subject, must continue later."

"Mordin!" Shepard shouted in a roar worthy of any commander. "You'd better not be conducting some experiment."

"Define experiment. No. Not needed. Can only conclude you will be upset by the reasoning."

"You're damn right I will be."

"Suspect warp ammo possible," he muttered to himself as he zigged and zagged away from her.

"Come back here you Salarian menace so I can pulverize you!"

She could see the smile he was cracking when he looked behind briefly to assess how quickly she was gaining on him.

"No need for violence. Am shocked you would even suggest such a thing."

"You've been following me around all day taking notes! I am not an experiment," she growled walking quickly toward him.

"Was not difficult," he retorted as he scrambled into the elevator and effectively slammed it shut in her face.

Shepard huffed in agitation. "I know where you sleep!" She shouted at the now closed doors.

"Way to lay down the law there boss," a certain biotic commented snidely from her left.

"Thanks Princess, I needed the pep talk."

"You can kiss my ass anytime Girl scout."

"I'm flatter Jack, but I just don't like you that way."

The bald biotic huffed at Shepard's obvious anger in amusement.

OoOoOo

**Libo: Liberty, time away from the shop or the field. Time to be away from work.** Now, supposedly, this is a Marine term. I am uncertain if that is correct or used correctly. However, in the unlikely event any fine and upstanding member of the USMC is reading this fan fiction, please understand that no offense was meant if the term or usage is incorrect.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Thanks to all of my reviewers! We are going to get back to Citadel space and Chellick/Garrus interaction stuff after this chapter. Rated M. I own nothing.**

**Please Review!**

OoOoOo

As she loaded the next thermal clip, prepared to go into a veritable hail storm of bullets, Shepard couldn't help but ponder for the close to the thousandth time why exactly it was that everything simply _had_ to go to shit at the worst possible time. If she were going to be honest about the situation, and she painstakingly was, the entire universe as anyone knew it was being threatened with a very possible; if not probable, end. To top that off her new employer was attempting to send her in guns blazing to kill her. Or not, Shepard was still under the assumption that the Illusive Jackass wanted something from her. Not to mention a load of political shit that had to be dumped on her, while trying to figure out her less than stellar love life.

Alright, that was it. She needed to kill things.

The slide of the clip, the familiar sounds and weight brought her to life once more. On the precipice of life and death straddled in between the known and unknown is when she had always been told she shined. Some found their moments of glory in peace, some in battle, and some in death.

Shepard had found it in two ways, but it was the middle that made her the symbol she was today. Tarnished though that symbol may be at the moment, Shepard stood pivoting her body. Leaning out as shots rained passed her cheek, narrowly missing other parts of her body. She was coiled low, ready to spring, her vital organs mostly protected.

The real pisser was being on a damned Reaper ship.

Shepard drew a breath, executing a tight cluster of fired shots at the closest target. The sickening blue glow of its twisted skin caused her throat to clench in disgust. Fucking husks! She knew how they came to be, and in knowing that, knew that they were once humans. She'd carved out payment for every slaughtered one of her kin from every reaper she came across. They would pay for this atrocity.

She'd known something was up when the hairs on the back of her next stood at attention when she'd come aboard this dead space nightmare. It had been too good to be true that a random reaper ship just so happened have a problem, to have been stumbled across. It had been another trap that her _dear_ benefactor had neglected to warn her about.

She'd expected geth, when the silhouette had been marked, but an active fucking reaper ship seemed like something someone should mention in a damn report! Granted the since team had been indoctrinated, and turned into husks. Shepard was grateful that Grunt was at her side.

This was some fucking horseshit is what this was. Grunt warned her that the blood smelled wrong, but was she allowed to turn right around and leave like an intelligent person would? Nope. It was one Commander Shepard's job to go out and save the whole freaking galaxy from every threat and itself. Whoopee fucking do.

Dragon teeth. Damn, that is the last thing she wanted to see staring her down while she dealt with this highly technologically advanced atrocity. She had been distracted and allowed a husk to come too close. It grabbed for her, blue eyes eerily arranged in a menacing glare. Hissing and screeching that signified ti was no longer human in any fashion. Monstrosity. Without feeling or mercy she viciously slammed her fist repeatedly into its head. Dark sickening blood rained down, she'd crushed its skull, she knew. The dying gasp on its lips, Shepard threw it to the ground and kicked it over and over. A fine blood mist and chunks of blue scalp sprayed the nearest wall.

"It's dead Shepard," Grunt told her with exasperation.

"I know that!" She huffed as she kicked it twice more. She'd already noticed how the room was arranged like some damned altar. It was sick and wrong and she raged against it the only way that made her feel better.

"Shepard," EDI's voice chimed in, "Are you alright?"

The Cerberus Scientist's words haunted her once more. '_The Ship isn't dead. It __**knows**__ we are inside._" She had started to wonder if it wasn't the truth. "Fine," She growled over the com. Shepard started forward, checking for all signs of possible threats. Her gun felt light in her hands, the adrenaline coursed through her and though she'd had years of practice honing the sudden rush, the tell-tale tremble in her pinky fingers still remained.

A Bullet flew past her, sparking as it struck the metal hull of the ship.

"Sniper!" Grunt rumble.

No shit.

"Shooter is good." Grunt continued growing excited and Shepard could feel him brimming over with the possibility of another good fight. "Good enough they should come out of hiding."

He apparently had not learned the purpose of a sniper in his cozy little tank.

Shepard kept her eye sharp, but moved carefully out of the line of sight as she picked up some more ammo lying haphazardly around. The Scientists likely turned on each other when the paranoia set in, but before they were sacrificed on the dragon teeth. Fucking Reapers. She signaled to move them forward behind the bulkhead.

Her heart felt strangely quiet in moments like this, where breathing seemed like an overly loud task. She leaned out from behind the pillar she'd chosen for strategic cover.

"Come on," Tali whispered behind her. "there is more of the ship to see to."

Shepard craned her head to stare at the Quarian. It never ceased to amaze her that everyone was so callous when it wasn't their species being impaled on big ass spikes by some messed up Alien species with a God-complex.

"Let's shut this thing down," Shepard conceded. They were seeing things, hearing things, being indoctrinated just by being on this forsaken ship. "We won't let the machines use their corpses like this." Fucking-A, she'd kill every last one of them.

More warped minds speaking gibberish, but all saying the same things in recordings. They were being hijacked in their thoughts and minds. Shepard felt the cold well of fury building inside of her. She ran moved with her team. Guns always at the ready, cautious and slow they pushed forward. She did not feel the sticky fingers of indoctrination gripping at her mind, but they hadn't been here nearly as long as the science team.

Shepard moved stealthily down corridors, walkways, and ramps. It struck her as strange that so much of this appeared to be made for bi-pedal beings to move through. Had the Reapers thought of this? Was it another trap? Or were the Reapers something much smaller than Sovereign had been?

Her thoughts were kept at bay while she hacked through another door. Once through she led them down yet another hallway.

"Please stand by. Equalizing pressure with exterior conditions. Remember safety is everyone's concern. We have gone five days without a workplace death." The Cerberus announcement flooded her ears with unwelcomed noise.

Shepard wore a grim mask of determination. Five days. That was how long it had been since the last scientist had likely died a gruesome death.

They moved into a much larger room. Shepard signaled her teammates forward as she felt the uncomfortable sensation of being watched. Wherever that sniper was, they were close and watching her.

A Husk head exploded behind her. The sound of wet and meaty chunks of flesh and modified bone splattering against the metal floor, caused her to shudder inside. Unnaturally iridescent blue blood spurted in thick waves. Shepard's eyes caught sight of a second husk, with a new hole in its head.

The sniper was a friendly.

She watched it fall, her face questioning as she turned toward the trajectory of the bullets. A geth, stood watching her. Wearing her damn armor.

What the _fuck_ was this?

"Shepard Commander." It said.

That'd be her.

Grunt turned toward her, like she knew what was going on.

"Geth Talk?" Grunt muttered unamused. "Since it knows you, tell it I don't need its help."

"I'll get right on that buddy," Shepard commented absently.

"It shouldn't be able to talk," Tali piped in upset. "A single geth has no more intelligence than a varren."

As far as she knew went without saying. Shepard didn't give a rats ass if it could talk, sing, or do the hokey pokey. It was helping them, and given the current lack of friendly faces she had to work with, that is all Shepard cared about. If it turned on them later, she'd personally rip its circuits out.

The groaning and moaning started once more. She really hated husks. She clipped in more rounds and they pushed forward. Bullets flying, heart pounding, vision tunneling until she was forced to break it by looking around. Two Scions. Damn.

"Tali!" Shepard barked angrily. "Move your damn drone!" That thing was always getting in the way. Four rounds had gone to waste because of that floating pain the ass. If they made it out of here alive, she was going to shove that thing so far up=

"Incoming!" Shepard roared as a wave of biotic energy came rushing toward them. She dove to the side. Gripping her gun tighter, she readjusted with enough time to steady herself. With the familiarity born of consistent use, she gently squeezed the trigger. The round sliced through part of the twisted body. She needed something stronger.

Exchanging clips with a deep breath, Shepard inwardly cursed the day she decided that she needed to join N7. Actually she cursed the day she first picked up a gun thinking a little target practice wouldn't hurt anything.

HA!

"Taking Fire!" Shepard called out when the second Scion came with biotics blazing. A triple tap took care of the first, large holes with gaping gore appearing as a testament to her skills. Grunt was busy with suppressing fire on the husks that clamored toward them with strangely vacant yet hungry expressions.

"Come on now," Shepard muttered, "I'm not trying to dance with the things. Kill them."

Two minutes and 11 seconds later everything was dead. Right until Shepard led them to an ominous looking door.

"To your right!" Grunt warned, and she'd had about all she could take. Another husk met a Cerberus regulation combat boot to the face. It then sailed over the bar and into what she assumed was a very long fall. "I am Krogan!" Grunt roared as he charged the last husk knocking it over and squishing it under his impressive girth.

"Can we have one battle where you aren't shouting that?" Tali quipped with irritation.

Shepard agreed mutely, it wasn't obvious that he was Krogan? Look at him. He looked bigger than an old Earth Winnebago. She said nothing as she broke the encryption on the last door. Her eyes landed on a group of husks and one lone Geth.

Hm. This was far too interesting for a normal Thursday.

It looked as if he was attempting to shut the core down. That worked for Shepard. The Geth turned and shot at the approaching reaper abominations. She watched the geth drop the field that kept them from entering just in time to be sucker punched in the circuits. The marine winced, that had to hurt.

For a geth, it sure had a glass jaw.

Shepard pumped what felt like endless rounds to keep the core safe, and by proxy the unknown geth. Did they even have names? She wasn't sure, but wondered if dog names were apt for this. The Reaper core opened and she began unloading into it. What was with making everything look like a giant eye? There was doubtlessly some symbolism in that and if she had the time to care, she might have.

The core was destroyed, a large burst of energy into a fizzling pop, and the husks had finally stopped. Oh thank goodness for small favors. She wiped the sweat from her brow and moved her head around to get the kink out of her neck.

"Shepard!" Oh for crying out loud, what did Grunt want now? "The geth is still here. Want it for target practice."

Yes, that was precisely what she had in mind for an intact captured geth… Shepard shook off the thrum of battle and focused on the task at hand.

"Leave it there!" Tali insisted. "You know what they are."

Yes, yes she did.

"If it gets into _Normandy's_ computers…"

It reminded her all to clearly of another time when she was asked to make a choice. Her gut instinct told her that this moment could be pivotal. Just as it had been when Wrex had screamed at her to kill the Rachni Queen. Moments, to many and to fast to truly comprehend played before her eyes as she weighed the nearly endless possibilities or consequences of her choice.

Kill it?

Let it live?

Was a geth even truly alive?

Her training, and her experience had destroy it on the tip of her tounge. But the dim light reflected the N7 insignia back at her. Her armor. Her death. This Geth had come looking for her and had helped her team.

The sounds of husks, the moans and hisses that haunted her deepest nightmares reverberated off of the walls. They were climbing up over the sides. Vile things.

"Grab it." She heard herself say, voice firm and unyielding.

"I'm not sure it's worth the risk Shepard," Tali said.

Shepard glared at her. "There is not time to debate it Tali, come on!" She started hefting one side of the Geth up, and Tali grudgingly grabbed the other. Shepard sighed. Tali was going to pout about this, she could feel it.

"Open the port side airlock," Shepard commed to Joker.

They could hear the sounds of Grunt using suppressive fire on the husks that were nearly literally nipping at their heels. Shepard and Tali moved as quickly as possible to the side bar and launched the geth into the thinner atmosphere. Backing up a step, she nodded for Tali to jump.

Grunt and Shepard took out as many as they could, a few explosions started at the back of the Reaper ship. Damn. It was time to go.

"Grunt," she commanded and he too took a running start to leap toward the Normandy. One more shot and She only had a few feet to attempt the jump herself. She would recall later that she hadn't even holstered her weapon as her eyes caught the planet below and for a single moment in time she recalled the last images before she died.

Planets were as beautiful as the terrifying now.

Two feet down and stumbling in, Shepard wanted to get the hell out of here. She still had to help Chellick, and with this ordeal over, there would be time for the detour. But for right now she needed a drink.

The geth was laying harmless at her feet. Not the death machine it had looked like on Eden Prime. This one was somehow different. Tali was staring at it like it was a snake about to bite.

"Alright fine Tali," Shepard said tiredly, "We'll lock it up and leave if off for the time being."

And, she'd have to sleep outside the holding to make sure Tali didn't throw a grenade in "Accidentally".


	20. Chapter 20

**Hi! I had a request for an update, thank you to all who have read and reviewed! Greatly appreciated!**

**Rated M. I own nothing. **

OoOoOo

There was no rest for the first human Spectre.

Shepard was ready to sleep for an eon, or two if humanly possible. Or whatever her cybernetics qualified her as. She wasn't certain if she could be classified as wholly human anymore. Silently she picked at her skin. Not enough to cause harm, but to attempt to quell the itch that always started when she thought about this too much.

She'd been dead, and now she wasn't. It all seemed pretty cut and dry with a thousand morally ambiguous decisions in between.

Movement drew her attention upward. She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. It had better not be Tali again. As much as she valued and adored her quarian friend, she'd already chased her away three times from the Geth's resting area. The last time had involved yelling, threats, and the demise of one unfortunate chair. This crew seemed to enjoy leaving themselves nowhere to sit. It wasn't precisely Shepard's problem though. If they wanted to act like children, she was not going to replace their toys. They'd have to grow up quickly because the Collectors were coming.

They were the looming threat always just beyond her bullets.

If she had to, she would drag them to the edge of the abyss and back. She hoped it would not come to that, but the lives of billions were laid in her hands and her decisions could influence the existence or eradication of her species.

It was not the first time she'd been called to serve for this, but Shepard sincerely hoped it was the very last. But it never was. It always happened again and again. However, frail human optimism prompted her to hope that this time would be the last time and then she could rest. Yet, she'd been called back from death before.

This time it should not be necessary. She wasn't ready to die a second time, not right now at least. If she did, well she had little control over the actual event, but the events leading up to it were within her bounds to manipulate.

Death, Shepard remembered the moments before death. As she watched a planet she'd never seen before as you slowly suffocate from lack of air. She still recalled the tell-tale hiss in her nightmares, the sound of precious oxygen leaking out of her suit, which she both did and did not hear in the vacuum of space. The sun peaking over to start it's horizon as her body gave up and the fiery burning of her lungs subsided. And, the worst part was the bitter understanding she could never tell another person because how in this world or the next would they ever understand.

Because she'd never told them she remembered every detail with startling clarity. The last images and thoughts her brain had before the darkness.

Before-

"Commander?"

"Yes Joker?" She responded quietly, pulling her from far more somber thoughts.

"We've docked."

She touched her comm gently, her eyes hardening to those of the Commander she was. Spectre. N7. Marine. She had many names, and facets. All of them were her and she mastered them with an intent born from riding the steel edges of life.

Her eyes trailed over Thane as he entered the mess area. His inky black depths gazed at her thoughtfully. His head dipped by way of greeting.

"Hello Thane," she said with a genuine grin shaping her lips. "How are you feeling?" There was something altogether wonderful about the Drell assassin. Shepard could not quite put her finger on it. She did feel a sense of sadness that he was dying from a sickness caused by humidity of all things.

"Shepard, do you have a minute to talk?" His warbling voice sounded so gruff and attractive to her ears. The eyes though… they were a bit harder to fall into. The endless black was not the vivid blue she often wanted to lose herself in.

She looked around the corridor, there was no one around but it was better to be safe than sorry. Thane was a private individual. She led them back to life support, the driest area in the ship, just to be safe, and allowed the door to close. Shepard relaxed her stance and gave him a playful smile.

"I've got time," she said kindly. "What did you need?"

His stiff and straight form countered the warmth in his voice perfectly. "Now that you've agreed, I find it hard to speak to you."

Hm, that was not expected. She'd already made sure that Kolyat wasn't following the path of his father down the road of being an assassin. She'd kept the kid form getting into more trouble than he could even dream about and as far as she'd known since, Thane had exchanged letters with his son on several occasions. She kept her perplexed feelings to herself and waiting patiently for him to say something.

"Shepard," he said rumbling softly, "I've never felt affection for another species before."

It took all of her military training not to react harshly to his words. Confusion was slowly replaced with embarrassment. It was very hard to misinterpret such a statement, and Shepard doubted she was incorrect with her instinct screaming at her so loudly.

"I have known I will die for many years," he continued turning away from her to pace the length of his room. "You have helped me to speak with my son again. We have righted many wrongs together. I wish to be at peace on the eve of battle."

She dared not interrupt and remind him that the 'battle' with the Collectors was not yet nipping at their heels.

"There is much I need to say, though I understand that your affections lay elsewhere." His dark eyes searched her face intently. "Siha. I know that your heart belongs to another," his words were kind as well as determined, "I do not seek to compete for your affections, merely to state that you will have my loyalty until the end, and I thank you for allowing my soul to awaken one last time."

There was something so strangely wonderful about his words and their talks clued her into some of his meaning. Tears gathered in her eyes, and she clamped them down. She would not allow herself to show weakness in front of him. Thane was a wonderful male and he deserved her respect above all else. She laid a hand on his arm gently, and pulled him into an embrace. It was all she could give him.

He was correct, her heart was with another, and she loved Garrus, but she could not ignore such an earnest expression of care. She settled her head on his shoulder, and he awkwardly returned the gesture. It was human affection, but it was all she knew.

"Thane," she said with her voice thick and filled with emotion. "Thank you. If things had been different…" she trailed off softly.

He nodded his acceptance of her words. "Forgive me, I was overcome for a moment."

She pulled back and smiled at him. "Let's give those Collectors hell, when the time comes." She murmured kindly, and Thane managed a smile of his own.

"I wish to always remember you like this," he said quietly as his hand reached up to tuck back some stray strands of her hair. "Siha."

Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears as the thought occurred to her. Cautiously she attempted jocularity. "You never told me what that means." She said with a playful tone.

His dark and wide eyes looked away from her. "Perhaps it is best left unsaid." His hands withdrew from her and he bowed to her stiffly before taking his leave.

She could honor his request and as a soldier she knew when a tactical retreat was in use. She swiped a hand across her face and sighed. Why was her life so damn complicated all of the time? She'd finally had a confession from Garrus. That was all well and good, but she hadn't changed her mind yet. She could trust him with her life, with an army of mercenaries, collectors, heck even a Reaper.

But not with her heart. Not yet. Soldiers were notorious for loving too strongly, too quickly, and it was because they never knew what tomorrow would bring. She could very well die again tomorrow, and that fact was never off her mind. Nor was the fact that she held the lives of countless people in her hands. If she failed now, how much worse would the consequences be later?

As always, she was Commander Shepard. Humanity's last hope, even if they didn't want anything to do with her anymore. She could still hear the screams of colonists as they were decimated by collector forces, faces frozen in terror. There was no forgetting the horrors she'd witnessed. She would be their vigilant protector, it was what they galaxy needed and some part of her understood.

She was a Marine. She would not falter.

She could not falter. Not again.

"Uh…Commander?" Joker's voice filled the comm again.

"Yes Joker?" She asked suddenly worn and aged beyond her years.

"We are receiving a transmission from the local authorities." She could hear the barest hints of laughter and she felt dread pool in her stomach. "It would seem that a certain Detective is hoping for more of your '_assistance_'." He made it sound like a dirty word and Shepard all but groaned out loud.

"Thank you, Joker." She snapped out sarcastically because she could already tell how this was going to end. It would likely involve something on fire with either Chellick or Garrus in need of medi-gel and possibly some legal action taken. Yet, all the same some small and twisted part of her looked forward to it.

Because she did like Chellick and he was a handsome turian. She couldn't really turn up her nose at his obvious desire of her and he held none of the excess emotional baggage that Garrus did. It caused her head to hurt, to ponder it all out.

She headed toward the elevator with grim determination. Could the universe not keep itself together for fifteen minutes?

OoOoOo

She'd barely set a single foot off of the _Normandy _when her omni-tool pinged and she bit back an oath strong enough to make a Krogan blush. She was truly beginning to hate the sound of her alerts. She popped open the screen, her eyes skimmed it before clenching her teeth.

'_Shepard,'_ it read, '_Aria needs your assistance. I am eager to see you again. -Grizz._

No.

No, no, and no again. Had she mentioned no? Shepard could not believe that azure harpy's audacity! She was an N7 Marine, the first human Spectre, and currently getting ready to take on the Collectors head to head. She was not a damn lap dog for some thousand year old great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great GMILF.

For fuck's sake! Did no one get the fact that death was literally knocking at the door and only some consistent effort was going to keep it from barging on in? She snarled viciously at what she deemed to be her curse, and replied.

'_No._' There it was short and to the point, her specialty. There was no way that could be misconstrued at all. She nodded her head dismissively and walked toward the nearest lift to the main areas of the Presidium Commons.

Grizz was waiting for her when she moved out of the elevator. His mandible was spread wide in a Turian grin and Shepard was two steps away from shooting him.

"Hi there sweetheart," he purred at her and Shepard glared at him. Hopefully he remembered what happened the last time he'd gotten too interested in her. His plates had healed nicely she noticed.

He had been a baby about a couple of punches, and he was perfectly fine.

"Go. Away." She commanded as she straightened up to her full height, daring him to try something.

"Ah, see now _I_ would of course respect the wishes of a woman with such a powerful right hook. Sadly," he warbled clearly anything but remorseful for the current predicament, "Aria had this idea in her head that you could take care of a _small_ problem for us." He accompanied his words with a slow and lingering glance down her body.

"I said no." She reminded him promptly.

"I'm aware."

Her answer was acerbic and bordered on condescending while still keeping the air of authority that was wholly her. "Well, the Citadel is a big place. I am sure you can find something to do."

"How about _someone_?" He intoned lasciviously. "You still smell divine, by the way."

The human bristled in irritation. Part of her was utterly confused as to why he bothered to hit on her when she so obviously had not wanted anything to do with him.

"I am not kidding. I really will shoot you."

"Look at us, such a rapport already. What do you human's call it? Oh yes, you're treating me like your boyfriend."

What? She was promising to shoot him, and he thought that equated to affection? She looked at him askance. "You're been watching the extranet, haven't you?"

"Yes, why?" he asked openly curious, as his colony markings were prominent under the Florissant lights.

She fought the urge to smirk. "No reason." She commented flippantly. She shoved past him, jostling the Turian male in the process. He followed her and her patience was wearing thin.

"The answer is still no." She said after a few moments.

"Silly me, I don't remember asking a question recently."

She narrowed her eyes at him at she navigated her way through the multiple species on the Citadel.

"I'm not working for Aria," she reiterated forcefully.

He shrugged his shoulders before waggling his mandibles at her.

"But you haven't denied me yet."

"I will break you." She replied without missing a beat.

"Damn, when you talk like that it makes my co-"

"Moving on," she interrupted angrily, her eyes flashing over his amused face. There was not quitting with this horny turian bastard. "I'm going into C-SEC," she informed him in a bored fashion, refusing to allow him to rile her much further. She had to regain control. She tapped her fingers against her gun and gave him a smile.

Grizz clacked his mandibles closed and trilled something in his dual harmonics. "You are such a tease."

She rolled her eyes, and continued on without him. She had only gotten a few feet from the main entrance when he called out loud enough for several people to turn their heads in their general direction.

"So that's a maybe then?"

Shepard clenched her hand around her pistol far harder than needed. Another turian who had been exiting the building stopped short at her 'scents' and stared between her and Grizz in the distance.

"She's just playing hard to get," Grizz called out loftily.

She was going to shoot him. She was going to shoot him in front of hundreds of witnesses, and she would _love_ it.

She stormed all the way to the back offices and bumped past a few surprised Turians and some other species that were more sensitive to 'smell'.

"What are you looking at?" She snapped at a bug eyed Salarian who looked as if he were about to burst into note taking. He skittered back, away from the human who would use him for target practice if he weren't careful.

She spotted him easily among the cadets he was instructing. He seemed to sense her before she needed to call out to him. She moved through the room as if she owned it. Her presence was high and undeniable.

Chellick waved the cadets away as they peered as Shepard with eager eyes. She was a little hard to ignore.

"Shepard," Chellick said low and sensuously, with his harmonics nearly vibrating the air between them. His avian eyes trailed over her with a nearly tangible feel.

Oh have mercy…

"Chellick," she replied slightly amused and pleased by his obvious perusal of her body. She had not forgotten that she smelled like him… and Garrus. Damn. Garrus, right. Where was he?

Her eyes scanned the surrounding area, and she spotted a veritable wall of pissed-off Turian glaring directly into the back of Chellick's head. Ah, so he'd managed to find her after all. She would really have to start checking to see if there were tracking devises on her person. She normally checked every time she put her suit on, but she obviously must have missed one.

Part of her, petty and small though equally deserving of attention, decided it was best to take the dear Detective out of harm's way and it that involved some alone time with Chellick… well… leaders all had to make sacrifices.

She still hadn't quite forgiven Garrus. Though it was a little unkind, she succumbed to her baser human emotion of rubbing some salt into an open wound. Call it her military training, call it simply being human, and name it whatever need be.

An impish smile adorned her features that juxtaposed with her battle hardened face nicely.

"It is good to see you again. I promised I'd come back and-"

"You delivered on that promise. Trust me; I have been thinking about your return since the moment you left."

A hot stab of desire worked through her, and she knew he could smell it on her the moment his avian eyes dilated on her. Shepard nodded her head readily.

"What did you need?"

"Many things, Shepard, many things."


End file.
